How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Sorry you're having a rough day birdsong87, I hope things improve for you soon. Try and take things easy if you can? Have you got time for some extra self-care today?

Em, sorry you're having a bad day too. Ar you able to get any breaks from work, so you can unwind a little? For us we'd try and get 15 or 30 minutes for a cuppa tea and try to have some quiet time to enjoy it. Do you have anything similar you can do?

bluefeeling, I hope you're having a better day today.

The day started off rough for us, headache & dizziness. We met our work-friend for breakfast tho and that seems to have improved the mood quite a bit. Dunno if it was the food or just having someone to talk with, or maybe both.

Violet

Sunflower just got out of her session with her T. She told me that she has something really important to share with me. So far that something is that there is something. She can’t tell me now because she kept checking out while talking about it with her T and doesn’t want to be checked out for the rest of the day. But, she wanted a chance to tell me herself instead of her T telling me, but not until tonight in case she checks out.

So I’m thinking, “great, something else to worry about all day”.

Thinking I might ease my mind, I asked her if it was something I should worry about. “Yes.”

Grrrr….. So now I'm actually worrying about her all day...

I know it’s harder on her, but she doesn’t make it easy on me either. LOL

Hi everyone,

I just want to introduce us... I'm Aja (eye-uh) and Im a part of our system of five. The named others are George and Margi, and there are two littles who each have names but who would rather not be named here at this time. We have been diagnosed DID and are working through Things in therapy and its been a challenge! The posts here have helped a great deal!

On the topic of the thread... We are good today, if a little foggy. Dreading therapy tomorrow and also dissociating a bit from an unusul incident (even for us!) this morning.

Hoepfully this particular Monday passes quickly?!

Sorry to hear about all the rough Mondays, birdsong87, bluefeeling, Em, and SOHank.

VioletFlux wrote:The day started off rough for us, headache & dizziness. We met our work-friend for breakfast tho and that seems to have improved the mood quite a bit. Dunno if it was the food or just having someone to talk with, or maybe both.

Violet

On Thursday evening and Friday morning, I was SURE that I had a cold: fever, congestion, tiredness. Then after I saw my T, I didn't have it anymore. And those symptoms didn't come back.

Things like that happen a lot--an interaction with someone will totally change how I'm feeling emotionally and/or physically. Even a casual interaction--it doesn't have to be something momentous like seeing the T.

So far, today is going ok. I had a bunch of classes and I'm meeting someone later for a class project. We're being really efficient with getting things done at home. I think people are looking forward to our Thanksgiving trip, where someone else does all the cooking, we're with my husband's family (whom we like a lot) and we get to stay in a hotel in a more relaxing city than where we live.

I'm sad this morning.

I remembered, when I first emerged or woke up or whatever, I used to be so happy. The others called me care-free, optomistic, all that stuff. I was the happy protected teen, the idealized version who was kept away from the nastiness of our RL teen years.

And V1 and me were a good team... She'd get us up in the morning, excercise, breakfast, work, then I'd take over in the afternoon and do all the dealing-with-people stuff she hated. Appointments, meetings, phone calls, then dinner and then bedtime. I really miss that.

And I miss her. She was like a big sister to me. We looked out for each other. She never even said goodbye when she disappeared.

Now I'm stuck with all the worries and fears and having to deal with almost everything myself and I'm not carefree and optomistic any more and I didn't even notice when that went away. It's just gone and I didn't notice it was missing till I thought about things from like beginning of the year.

This isn't me, this isn't my life. I don't remember asking for it. I don't know why all this ended up being my job? My responsibility? I wan't to give it all back. I don't want it any more.

Just an update. I tried to talk to others this morning about getting help, someone to share the burden, or just find V1 again. Spoke with Rebecca a bit but she said she didn't know how to help, or how to find V1, or what else we could do.

Couldn't get through to anyone else, then someone just drowned everything out shouting thoughts about self-harm. Pointing out all the sharp things around us in the room. There's a lot of sharp things.

I'm trying to ignore the self-harm thoughts. Still just utterly sad though.

Lonely, sad, feeling overwhelmed & hopeless.

Violet

hey, stay safe, ok? you matter. and you are not alone.

Thankyou birdsong87, we appreciate it.

Still ignoring the self-harm thoughts.

Still really sad.

Violet

Tweens and Teens

1. take trash out
2. Cool shoe strings
3. Sports paraphernalia
4. Gaming
5. Karting
6. Has teen thinking
6. Needs to be a little more thoughtful
7. Great with emoticons
8. Technology in general
9. Tattoo's
10. Secretive
11. Too long on the phone
12. Can be awkward
13 Good at the confusion
14. Great with lyrics songs ectera
15. Believe anything

Wasn't sure if I should post this but I guess so.

Our mother called earlier today, not long after I first started feeling really sad. She had a question about something, but she could tell by my voice that I wasn't feeling ok. She asked if I was ok and I just gave the automatic / reflexive "fine/tired" response.

Then after we'd talked about her thing, I did tell her I was really sad and that I was overwhelmed and all. I actually broke down and cried a bit which I don't remember us ever doing before. I mean it wasn't like she was there with us, I don't think we could have done it if she was there. But on the phone even, was a lot.

Then we had to go, or she did, I forget. Anyways she said we could call later to talk if we needed to.

So later this afternoon I was still feeling really down, and I was really wary about calling her cos usually when we do try and tell her about our problems she just ignores it, changes the subject, that sort of thing. Just totally dismissive, not even acknowledging. But I was really feeling bad and had noone else to talk to, so I gave it a try.

It was really hard, and of course the first like 15min of the conversation was all her and every little boring detail of her day lol. But when she was done I finally got up the courage to talk, and went into more detail of the sort of stuff I'm struggling with, and being very alone and all.

Told her that I feel like a teen trapped in a grownup life that I don't know how to deal with. That I missed older Violet. That I get so lonely but don't know how to meet people or make friends. And I cried a bit more.

We also discussed that Stephanie never seemed to get lonely, she was more of a loner and preferred being by herself. And the way our mother handled that part of the conversation, I think she's finally accepted that I"m not Steph, that Steph is gone and we are 'someone else' now.

I think she still doesn't really understand about being multiple - like the fact that there are other 'people' in here who are not all just Violet.

But she did seem to really listen to me. She might not understand all the specifics of our problems, but I think she understood some of it. And at least she listened.

I'm still really sad, but it's almost bedtime. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Violet