How are you today thread (trigger warning)

dancing for MDs and Birdsong!!!

cool!! very happy for you both!!!

That's great MDs! Enjoy the time off!

And birdsong87 that's wonderful to hear!

We had an interesting day yesterday. Viola was fronting for all of it... she had our first full session with the new T, then when we got home we got a couple packages in the mail. One for us, but the other was addressed to Melissa...

At first we're like, uh-oh what did she order now? But then realized, when she orders stuff it's always in our name. And looked closer and the label says it's a gift. So now we're like, ok who knows Melissa to send her a gift addressed to her specifically?

I think it can only be one of our two friends, or our ex-T. Or I suppose one of us lol but neither Viola or me did it. We haven't opened it, it's for Melissa so she can open it when she's here, probably this afternoon. But I'm super curious who it's from and what it is.

*** trigger warning - drug use ***

The package for us was drugs - weed is legal in Canada now and we wanted to experiment so ordered some. Viola tried it last night and it was wierd and kinda unpleasant. It had some effects that were all right but overall we didn't like it. I'm gonna write more about it in our journey thread, cos it really ramped things up for our DID.

Violet

sweet ######6 shitballs and firecrackers I am so ######6 tired of moving!!! I feel like I've been moving for a ######6 month because I have!!! how the hell I have this much $#%^ I cannae fathom!!

thank the merciful heavens I got the kondo bug over labor day weekend and did the marathon clean out or I would ne'er have survived this ######6 move.

I am inches from the finish line at my old house and turning in keys. cleaning crew will do that house Monday morning.

I have a few hours to try and power up for a 3 day workweek. then I'll have to deal with thanksgiving and the neglectful abusive ###$ that I've been dealing with lately. I've really got to get that sorted because I hate that sorry sack of $#%^ #####&. I can't deal with this $#%^.

somewhere in between all that I'll have to manage to deal with the gigantic pile of $#%^ I carted in the house today. and pick up some groceries. at least I've got my childcare sorted for the holiday.

low battery alert like a #####& y'all. $#%^. I'll also have to deal with a pile of $#%^ at work tomorrow morning and the continuing death bulbs nonsense.

so close. walking the wire though. deep breath. then 3.5 days of hell. that's less than a hundred hours tho right?

I'll just keep telling myself I've got this. but I am kaibashing the December calendar to recover. gotta remember to recover. this has been a marathon of stress and chores and juggling. what a ######6 autumn!

Wow BeccaBee that sounds crazy!

When it's done I hope you can just kick back and relax and recharge for a good long while. Treat yourself to some extragood selfcare cos you've earned it!!

Violet

sometimes I don't know because I get so tired. like if I really do juggle a lot of if I am just a sissy. I think it's something I struggle with in a lot of ways. knowing where the line for normal is. I don't think other people get so tired moving. but other people aren't single moms like me that work full time. so idk. thank you for cheering us on. we need cheering for the home stretch. I'm really exhausted. I don't know how I'll make it. I just know we will. got to.

endure and survive.

Moving is one of those things that often end up on list of most stressful things, so I don't think your being a sissy.

BeccaBee wrote:sometimes I don't know because I get so tired. like if I really do juggle a lot of if I am just a sissy. I think it's something I struggle with in a lot of ways. knowing where the line for normal is.

You are NOT a sissy. The list of things you wrote a while ago that you have to handle in just your daily life was overwhelming for me to even read. And with MOVING added??

I have brought in a whole cheerleading SQUAD and they are saying, "Give me B, give me an E, give me a CCA! Give me a B, give me an E and another E! BECCABEE! BECCABEE! GO BECCABEE!!"

(This was definitely influenced by Meredith and she wants credit...)

Rough time today. Overwhelmed by how much help I really need and having a difficult time holding onto progress. I find myself constantly wondering if I should just give up. Gave myself a headache with all the rumination. Horrible anxiety when the work week begins.

struggling thru a low day with lots of body pain and little strength.
don't know if I need encouragement or comfort. Probably both.
but we got a T appointment friday.

Utterly horrible day. Work is extremely stressful and usually Jen handles, but she's nowhere to be seen for some reason. SO reckons she's tired as she was out almost all weekend. It's making me feel like I am not built to cope even with small things, and it's making me very suicidal - if I can't handle even the smallest work things what chance do I have of absorbing the damaging bits causing Jen to self harm etc?

Just, bad day.