How are you today thread (trigger warning)

about 40 hours left in the therapy clinic.
it feels weird to prepare to pack.
I want to keep the T. He is the most brilliant T we ever had.

Birdsong--that seems like it would be a hard transition. I guess that T only works there and doesn't see people outside the clinic? He always sounds so amazing. ("Like OUR T," Meredith wants to put in)

Hi Floralie--I also go through days where I spend "too much" time on the forum. I know it's meeting the needs of some of the parts, but it does become too easy to write here about each other instead of communicating. And parts that want us to get things done, and LIVE our life, also get very frustrated. I've also posted when my plan is to stay off the forum for a period of time--then it's like we've issued ourselves a challenge in front of witnesses, so we have to follow through.

Thanks, BeccaBee! We got a manicure/pedicure on Thursday with Nadia's favorite mermaid color, so she can look at that and remember that we like her and want her around. And we've been trying to take breaks to watch Kimba in bed, with the stuffies, or when we can't get home, then we sit in the car and listen to a kid's audiobook. I think what's happening is that as she gets comfortable with Meredith doing something, then Meredith wants to do MORE, and step farther outside Nadia's comfort zone (which is like a tiny dot anyway)--so we're being MORE social with the people in this activity, or speaking up in group discussions--and every new step terrifies Nadia and she is SURE people will think we are VERY weird and not want anything to do with us.

When we drove home last night after a VERY long day, Nadia was just sobbing. It's the weirdest thing to feel that we're crying, and to be saying comforting things out loud at the same time. Like if someone saw me, they would see someone loudly sobbing and ALSO saying, "It's ok, everything is ok." Luckily the husband was back and could hold her and help her calm down. He gets so confused though--he's holding someone who is really upset, and we're saying, "Nothing bad happened--everything went well."

we are reaching the end of our last therapy day. the doc was sick, so we couldn't say goodbye. but it was ok. we still have to say goodbye to the head nurse tomorrow morning...
it was hard to say goodbye to the T. he is dear to our heart, in a totally different way than any other human being. as a helper. and we don't know many true helpers. he left a mark. we left a mark in him.
and we left a little item from our sand tray as a gift. it is a rare thing that we allow personal gifts...
saying goodbye to the body work T was the hardest. the kids like her a lot. and she helped Asti so much, which helped all of us so much. she is so young, but did so well and we didn't find words for how thankful we are and how much it means to us that we could go thru this together...
Little Bear will meet us after dinner and tomorrow we are heading back home.
our own bed. own food. own internet. own washer. all kinds of things we always took for granted

Birdsong87 it sounds like you had a lot of really good results there. I'm sure it'll be really nice tho being back at home in your own bed and all.

I'm feeling really sad again today. Maybe its the weather, maybe it's just me. Dunno.

I tried writing more but ended up deleting it all.

Violet

feeling alright today.. tired of the tedium, seems like everyday is the same. super lonely

I had been dating a girl for about a month. I was glad to not be alone for that time. We went on some fun dates. The whole time there were warning signs that she was a sociopath, at least a little bit. It really wasn't that bad, because the relationship was mostly superficial. The relationship went forward quickly. I ended up telling her about my DID, but her reaction was bizarre, basically it didn't bother her in the slightest. She was concerned about not wanting to trigger me, but definitely no emotional reaction or empathy.

Anyways on a night out on Halloween with her and my cousins, she flipped the sociopath switch. Her manipulation came out. She said little hateful things to me that no one else would notice. and basically she was trying to put a wedge between my cousins and me by flirting with them and then later tried to twist it all up.

So in the end she went too far, and I broke up with her. Talking to her about the mean things she had done would have been pointless, she would have just gas lit me anyways. And since those red flags were going off the whole relationship, that was enough.

I've been thinking of her ever since, I don't want to be alone, so alters want to get back in touch and think its okay, as long as we keep that distance between us we can still do things together. But some kid alters are really really afraid of her, so that wouldn't work. and I wouldn't want to be kept on my toes the whole time making sure she didn't try to manipulate things again.

We had a craptastic Sunday, as usual. I hid behind a potted plant in our innerworld. Or in my room. Somewhere away from all the drama.

One of these days the bigs will get off the hamster wheel they've been running on. Should do us a world of good.

Laura and others

Weekend was chaotic and exhausting, strange flashbacks, distraught parts.

And today half of the day is missing. I have evidence of neatly done work in this time, but a total memory gap for several hours. So maybe Kiran is back.
But I am a bit concerned that he had a some sort of reset and just forgot about us again (he himself feared that this could happen someday) , because he didn't say hello, or write anything.
I am not even sure if it is a good thing, if he knows. He did a great job in the last years while not knowing and kind of shut down more and more, while figuring out all the stuff about us others. So maybe the silence is not such a bad thing.

Hi,

Only two more sessions before our T goes away for 3 months. We're kind of bracing like expecting a big wave. We want to get it just right. Everybody taking care of everybody. But we never do it perfect so you know some sh*ts going to happen. Kind of nervous. Host keeps reminding us we did this for years without a T and did ok. But now it's different. Feels like we're both stronger and more exposed than before. Host is more nervous than he's saying. Going into unexplored territory real soon.

Iain & Raven

IainEtc wrote:Feels like we're both stronger and more exposed than before. Host is more nervous than he's saying. Going into unexplored territory real soon.

Iain & Raven

You gotta be stronger to let yourself BE more exposed. So that's good progress. Do you guys have other supports in your life? Besides all of us here?

Hi Gangs,

You are all pretty good support.

Colin's got a project. I've got some friends and Host has work. T says we can email or Skype. We should be ok for support... I hope.

Iain