How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Things are a bit all over the place with us. Very unsettled.
There have been a lot of big changes.
The others have started communicating well with my therapist which I'm really pleased about.

First time I've posted on this thread.

For the first time this week, one of my people, little Susie, came out to the T. She was very sad and scared he would be upset because she was crying. It was a hard, but productive compassionate session. First time I've had the experience of being co-conscious when an alter came out. I had to wait in the office about 30 minutes after the session to regroup.

Going to do EMDR next session with my 15 year old, We'll see if she comes out.

Feeling hopeful, sad, and slightly spacey.

Thanks,
Berta

Hi Berta,

Wow! That's seriously brave! You guys did a good job with your T. It was WAY hard for our Littles to come out in therapy but things got better once they did. You know sometimes alters don't know how much we disorient hosts when we come out. Sorry about that.

Iain

It might be too late to say this, but the caterpillar doesn't die. It grows up. To us, adulthood seems boring and lonesom. ... Speaking of which, we watched "The Little Prince" today (second time for us). I don't know who that film triggered to come out, but he(?) sure was fun. This self-diagnosis of OSDD 1B totally explains why watching certain movies and TV shows has put us in "a weird mood" over the years.

One person we expected to front, though, did not. Thought for sure the toy fox in the movie would draw our fox kit out, but we still haven't seen him. Janice can take his form, so that means he's here still. I guess he's busy ... ? ? ? ? What do fox kits do?

I know I need to do another system census. I just keep putting it off because I hate hearing about integrations ... yeah, I know it's important and stuff, and no one needs to tell me that ... I just don't like to hear about it. (Don't you?)

Another reason I haven't done a census in a while is because everyone showed up for it last time. It annoyed people to have to put down everything/wake-up/come out of hiding just for a role-call. YES, it's important ... but I'm too polite to ask people to do that again. Idealy, we should have a census at least once a week ... if not daily. x_X OH WELL, we'll just to get used to it!

I think I'll stop now.

- Imre

Truly_happy wrote:Sorry you got triggered, Deborah. Hoping you'll overcome whatever it is about that book that upset you.

We're doing better, thanks. This includes Deborah. We picked up our new car today and are finally decompressing after two incredibly stressful weeks.

Allegra and others

Imre--why do you need to do a census every week? That seems like a lot. Does it really change that fast?
Heather

I want to go blank. I would really like to just go into the dark. We are at c's bf's family's cottage with his parents and there just is nowhere to go to be alone and get some peace and I am so depressed and worn down by it.
Terrin

(Cullen responding.) Maybe not, Heather. Simply updating our list of system members weekly is necessary, as we are meeting and gaining new people all the time. However, it's only when we take a full-blown census that we discover who's gone.

As Imre feared, a LOT of people are gone from the system now since our last census a few months ago. Every disappearance is shocking to us. There are those who sorrowfully miss their friends, but we have to remember to focus on the people who are here now, especially the ones we've yet to discover.

We don't know why we have a high turn-over rate, or how every other system we hear of seems so static. We've only been aware of the system for about a year now, but I can't tell you how many changes we've gone through since the first discovery.

- Cullen

MakersDozn wrote:We picked up our new car today and are finally decompressing after two incredibly stressful weeks.

Got rubber floor mats, rubber trunk mat, front seat covers, steering-wheel gripper thingy. Couldn't find the backseat cover (the store didn't have it) to match the front-seat covers we bought. But we did find it on sale online. Knock on wood. Sometimes "Universal Fit" isn't so universal.

MDs

MDs---congrats on the new car. Is that the final puzzle piece to sort out after your accident? Feel any better?

Cullen--that does sound like high turnover. I had no idea it could be that way. We were 3 for many years, unearthed 2 more last November and had 1 appear and apparently join another in the space of about a month in May. That's all the action in our entire history. You must get so exhausted! I would like to hear more about it. Do you have a journey thread?

C and Terrin had a very bad day. I'll let Terrin tell you herself
Heather

I mentioned last night that I was overwhelmed with all the people in the house. Well three more arrived today and I couldn't manage. I locked myself in my room and cried and for some reason felt suicidal. I'm not sure why it came to that but it's just sort of how I respond to stress. Which is why I think BPD is not a total misdiagnosis in my case. I cried long and hard but now I actually feel almost cleansed. It helps that I'm back home, but I've heard that when you allow an emotion to peak and reach extinction without interference, it passes much more effectively. I feel like that's what happened. I was given time and space to just go through it for which I am grateful.
Terrin

ColouredLeaves wrote:MDs---congrats on the new car. Is that the final puzzle piece to sort out after your accident? Feel any better?

We're waiting on the payout for our insurance claim. $1700-ish after the $500.00 deductible. They had to receive all of the necessary paperwork first.

We're definitely much calmer now than during the two and a half weeks of feeling in limbo. Now we're back to our regular drama.

MDs