How are you today thread (trigger warning)

I read everybody's news but can't reply. I feel too shut down. C had the whole day and that always leaves us feeling tired and unhappy. Will see T on Thursday for the first time in four weeks. She went overseas to see her parents. While she was away we saw her colleague twice but it didn't help much. C didn't trust him which meant that when anyone else was Front she was standing on The Podium trying to tell us what to say and how to act. I cut once while T was gone for the first time in seven years. I can't say I regret it.
Terrin

ColouredLeaves wrote:I cut once while T was gone for the first time in seven years

I don't think a seven year run with one relapse in SH, is too shabby, myself. Hugs.

TW//



Blurryface fronted, and stabbed our arm with a fork. We're fine, nothing bad. But it hurts alot. - Josh

Josh, does your system have a safety plan? How are you doing now?

Allegra and others
__________

Annual health fair at work. Free food. Salad, wraps, healthy sandwiches.

Our BMI and our blood pressure were a teeeeny bit higher than we'd like. And we've been trying for some time to get rid of the stupid "muffin top."

Laura and others

My wife triggered tonight, and this was bad enough to drive me out of the house. I'm feeling pretty defeated right now. If I'd known twenty years ago what I know now, I wouldn't have married her. I don't know what to think about that. On one hand I feel a desire to help her with her disorder, but on the other hand I'm just tired and want out. Lately I've been leaning on God's hand pretty steadily. I look to him now to help me understand.

For those who suffer from this, I need to ask, is there hope for this disorder? The movie Beautiful Mind calls at me. I need to believe that something extradorinary is possible. Otherwise it's time to pack my bags, to say farewell to my current life and to start over. Part of me is excited at the possibility that this life may someday change for me, and I'm filled with shame and regret that I feel this way.

Tomorrow I'll go into work and try to pick up the pieces again. Thanks for listening.

DID can be treated. often there is a good prognosis for recovery.
but it takes time. if you decide to stay and see the miracle evolve you need to be patient thru a lot of storms.
the bible says that grace is fresh/renewed every day. i hope tomorrow will be better.

Yes, we have a saftey system and Blurry's changing. . . not much, but to the point to where his anger gets triggered if someone abusive talks to him, or someone yells at him. He's managing a relationship, and he hasn't lashed out at his boyfriend yet, so we're hoping the best for him. - Josh

Josh---take good care of yourself. I saw Blurryface's thread about an abusive relationship. I hope you will all put your safety and sanity first
C

Justtheretohelp--is your wife in therapy? Birdsong is right, there is a good prognosis with proper treatment. For us, we are pretty stable but don't wish to integrate. That is a choice only your wife can make but with internal cooperation and co-consciousness it doesn't seem necessary to us. We are in a committed relationship and it is strong. There is hope. But you have to do what you need to do for yourself too.
Heather

Snaga--thanks.
Terrin

Very depressed this morning but got some validation (I wrote about it in a thread "I am depressed, others are running.") T tomorrow for the first time in four weeks.
Terrin

I am feeling fantabulous! Even if Snaga is not. I got to drive today! And I chose the music. It was pretty fun. -Samantha

And Sabrina! I was there too!!

I had the most amazing dream about someone from my very distance past last night. I missed him for many years after he left and think about him now and again. I loved him that is for sure. Not the kind of love that drove me to hoping to be his wife, it was a much better kind of love, a love that left me filled with so much happiness whenever I saw him, a love that was deeper than the bluest sea and higher than the highest mountains. It was a simple kind of love, one that took my breathe away when he smiled, when he teased me, or just when we could be together.

He was super ambitious and very Intelligent. I think I loved the part of humility the most. He was raised in a good home and God was very much part of his life. He was so comical and kind, and although my time with him was too short, he left a huge impact on my heart. I can't Imagine he isn't married with kids. I know he makes an amazing dad and although my gut tells me he isn't the faithful kind of guy, I don't believe he would ever hurt his wife. I can't remember a time he had a mean word to speak about anyone , such a Judge free guy who had it all, super hot OMG and that gorgeous skin, a smile that would melt your heart. I"m so lucky to have known him , to have kissed him , to have had a lot of great sex with him, but mostly to have him as my friend.

This dream made my day, it made me super happy. I hope he dreams of me too and when he does he smiles and says, I wonder what ever happen to that girl There are v few people in life you always wonder, what if. He is my what if, and although we had v little in common at that time, it was what attracted us to one another. I know he will never read this that is a fact, however I would want him to know I loved him v deeply and he still has a piece of my heart. I hope he is happy and well and I will forever smile and feel butterflies every time I think about him. Nothing but love and v special beautiful fun memories. He treated me like I was something v special, he loved me and I'm pretty sure he smiles huge when he thinks of our time together. Yes I'm talking about you CL. <3