siting in my room in a psych ward bored out of my mind.

this morning i went to the shops (i can come and go which is good so i can get out for a bit)

im so glad that this unit let me bring in my laptop. i was here for a week without it and it was sooooo boring but now i have it. i have asked in other wards and they say no. it gets locked up when im not using.

im not going back to were i was living so i have to wait for them to find me a new place on my own.

there isn't much interesting stuff to add so i will come back later.

Yet again sleep eludes me so I thought I would see where words take me. Of course it would actually help if I turned off the telly and computer, went upstairs and got into bed. I just have this thing about going to bed. Esp at night. When I am working I far prefer working nights and sleeping in the day. Nights are more fun anyway. I think I am being a little bit naughty as well as I know that lack of sleep makes me feel a little hypo.

So tom I am hopefully meeting up with my Canadian auntie who is over with my uncle. She is fab and is the person I am probably closest to in my family. She was the first person in my family i told about the abuse and she is amazingly supportive without being judgemental. I feel I can tell her anything. We plan to go for coffee then trawl the charity shops. My local high street has some really good ones. I buy nearly all my clothes from charity shops. Tho I was looking at a dress I bought recently and thought wtf, why on earth did I buy this? It is so not right for me. I think i would look like the michelin man in it, it is not flattering. Moral of the story, no clothes shopping after 2 pints of Old Rosie.

The other good thing about charity shops (apart from helping a good cause) is that they are great for bipolars. When you are on a high and fancy a spending spree you do far less damage to your finances whilst still getting some great stuff. OK I will stop going on about charity shops now.

Well I think I am going to try to get some sleep now. Good morning/afternoon/evening/night to you all.

Cracked

I ended the connection with my ex-boyfriend. There is no easy or right answer. I've just got to do my best through this time. The Seroquel seems to be working a treat - gives me a good deep sleep and is metabolised quick enough for me to be alert during the day, thus far. My son is with me this weekend and I am trying to focus on him. I have someone coming to look at the room today (I've been without a flatmate for some time). I will also look at taking a room elsewhere if these people do not take the one at my place, as I can't afford the rent on my own on the pension any longer. Be good to fit some fun into my awareness somewhere... see how I go.

2 Weeks ago, i tried to kill myself. I was in a very bad place, i felt absolutely alone, crazy and hopeless. Therapy wasn't helping, the medication wasn't working. I then found this forum, purely by accident and saw some threads which interested me. So i signed up.

I guess i feel at home here now. It's such a non-judgmental friendly place, and even better, there are people like me! People i can relate to, and people who relate to me. I feel a lot better about myself and definitely a lot less crazy ! I have a long way to go, but i feel this is a good leap to get there !

Thanks a lot PsychForumers! I will try and repay you guys by offering my advice.

Somehow this makes me feel the total opposite to how it should

Sometime when you're feeling important;
Sometime when your ego's in bloom
Sometime when you take it for granted
You're the best qualified in the room,

Sometime when you feel that your going
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow these simple instructions
And see how they humble your soul;

Take a bucket and fill it with water,
Put your hand in it up to the wrist,
Pull it out and the hole that's remaining
Is a measure of how you will be missed.

You can splash all you wish when you enter,
You may stir up the water galore,
But stop and you'll find that in no time
It looks quite the same as before.

The moral of this quaint example
Is do just the best that you can,
Be proud of yourself but remember,
There's no indispensable man.