somewhere in my brain i know i have to learn to cope with stuff differently. im just not sure how.


i remember doing some dbt stuff many years ago but it must not have stuck because i cant remember any of it. i mean. i kinda remember the distress tolerance stuff but it didnt help me at all the other day when i was going downhill.


when im in bad shape theres not much calming down or distracting. i cant watch a movie or whatever...idk., i cant remember what the other stuff was.


im sick of drinking and smoking whenever im upset.

i havent bought any alcohol or cigarettes in awhile actually though. so.


i wanted to the other day but i went for a walk instead...it was like 85 and sunny hot as hell. hate that weather!

the walk didnt really help and by the end of the night i was so frazzled.

i also worry now that any time i stress out im going to go psychotic and thats about the last thing i want to happen.