Blog;
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SO; Where am I now.
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Im now at that time of learning how to trust God in the vortex for what I want…
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Im interested in a guitar and a girlfriend.
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Ill be going to God.
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Ill be bowing to God. The goal is to get right within God; in the vortex of God; and put God in Gods right place as head of the universe; a sovereign place and I; within the safety of that sovereign state… I bow before God and ask for help… And their it is.
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And I reach out to God for help because because I can go no further; the rest is a lie; its a lie if I say I can; I cant; Im finished; thats as far as my development goes; from their; Ill have to turn to God. Ill have to reach out to God for help if I want more then I can created for myself.
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Its very much like Im a 12 or 10 or 9 year old in an adult world. As a 9 year old; In an imaginary world in my head I fantasize ; maybe I can function somewhat in my head; in my imaginary world; but not in the real world I fall far short. thus I cannot function in the real world; maybe I can with GOds help; I don’t trust God; or anything or anyone; and no one cares that Im dead or alive; Nothing. So; Ive been lost for most of my life if not all of it. Somehow GOd has brought me back to the right passage way... So; Ive been beat up from the street up many times. THe problem is; Ive never gotten much past getting back on the trail. I mean; I havent gotten past 1st grade in life; and Ive never really had more then a 1st grader. Ive never trusted enough to ever have anything...
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I have to turn to God. How will I do this; how willing am I to do this; how long will I do this; attempt this; how bad do I need this or want this; what extent will I go to get right with God; meaning aligned with God on this subject where I admit God has the power and I don’t; and I need Gods help. Gods will not mine. My interest in finding GOd and working with God number one focus. Putting my priories in tuned with reality. That means; GOd is the power; I work through God to have all things done first. I imagine; then I ask God for help; I wait upon God and learn to believe; and according to my belief; God delivers.. ANd according to how much I believe God will and can help me; God is on my side; the universe is on my side; its not my enemy; How much I believe I can work with the universe for help; This will mean the difference of obtaining a GOd life through God or not. Rules. Universal rules. How much am I willing to work with God on believing; meaning being instructed by God to learn to trust God and believe. Am I willing to allow the universe to be my teacher to help me; to teach me how to believe God or under God. How do I believe universe. Am I really ready this time to put out the sacrifice to believe; To put out the commitment. Am I willing to work with God on this willingness; to believe in believing and asking God to help me believe in myself; teaching me how to believe in myself... Teaching me how to work on belief... work on trusting myself; building that trust in myself that I will not forfeit God... but that I will work with God so I can learn to stick-it-out with God; to hang in their; not quit... But instead seek God at those moments and work with God on those moments; strengthening them; Believing in the ability for me to turn to God for help to learn how to believe.
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NOTE: Not turning to the many addictions and diversions of the world; turning them into Gods and Goddesses…
My goal is to learn to work with God and believe; not drop out…
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I have to learn to reach out to God first and complete the work with God first; getting in with God; Getting right with God. Co creating with God universe.
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God has the answers; the problem is; I cant access God because Im to scared to trust God; So; I must take this issue to God and work with God on this issue. And stop giving God time limits or impossible choices to he...

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