Ok. So.

Sometimes I feel sad because I can't find a lot of bands that speak to how I feel, but more so I feel special because I have one that at least one of their whole albums is 100% how I feel on a daily basis.

The Mars Volta. Deloused In The Comatorium album.

<3<3<3<3

Oh man. I'm not fond of those lesser than signs with the "3", because i'm kind of uptight but that just...that deserved it in my mind.

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And in other parts of my mind...

Most everyday now I wake up in the morning and want to retreat immediately to another world in my head. Honestly. Reading these forums and reading about my disorder so much I always thought when they said those with the disorder were "in their own world", I THOUGHT I understood. I thought I knew what they mean, but I suppose I didn't because I took it in another meaning. I thought they meant they all were entirely transported mentally to another world they created, in which, I believed because it was a mental illness, ok. Well. Not saying that can't happen but I realized what they really meant was something a bit different.

They meant another world, and they were right now. Just not that with every person leaving their body mentally while awake. While that can happen, I think I've realized where I fit into that "other world" thing.

I feel like it's almost completely impossible to explain to someone who doesn't have mental illness, because the whole thing is so damn complex, it's scary, but then it's fun.

It combats loneliness. Thats all I really have to say.