New blog;
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Answers; Im finding answers through the universe about what happened in my earlier life that I didn’t understand. I was looking for love and companionship and I thought I was working with God; Im not sure what went wrong.
Or what went right.
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FIRST LOVE: More answers…
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This was not my first love; I don’t know what this was. I still don’t know if this was someone God brought to me or not. I don’t know.
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However; if I want to know; I would have to go to God to find out. And their it is; the answer; if I was working with God in the first place and at a higher level; Things would be totally different; meaning at a higher frequency with God; and Im just now learning what that is because Im working toward it now…
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FIRST LOVE: and what I believe I know or have my opinions about.
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God set me forth on a journey with her for 2 reasons; One; Altho I felt she could get better and I always felt I wasnt good enough. God sent me to her to love her.. This was a service to her; She wasnt getting what she wanted; she was getting what she needed; Did this work; well! Yes! The universe swept her off her feet working through me. Did she appreciate me; I don’t know; but it was all aligned correctly with the universe. Did she actually ever push me away; No! I left before that happened.
I never trusted her. I had no reason. So; something was wrong… dangerously wrong…
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Would I have been a good father to her children and mine; Yes. Would I have been a good husband; of-course.
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Would that have been enough for her to be genuinely loved by someone? NO! I did not believe so….
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She was looking for someone to love; but it wasnt me; It was a 1 percent-er Dude; That group of men that are 1 percent in society; they the best built; the best looking; have the most money; and come from a rich family and have nothing but a rich future.
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However; did she finally chase me away; NO!
Did she reject me; NO!
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Would she have married me; Yes! Would she have stayed married to me; I guess. Im kind of sure she would have; Would she have resented it; Yes! She would have resented it the whole time; She would have resented that I was not her first choice; her first pic a guys. The key she really wanted was head n shoulders more then me and way above me on the status scale; and she would have never been satisfied.
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Why then did God send me their; Well; My idea is; He didn’t; God would never sent me into a situation like that. That means I did…
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So; Its all good; working with the universe to get all this information. I just never believed her. I think my confidence at the time swept her off her feet; and I could have gone in any direction with her I wanted; but it was like eating cake made out of sawdust; being with her; she was hollow when it came to me; She had no feelings; Nothing; At the time; it made no sense to me that was with me if she didn’t like me. Now I know better; Numerous reasons; unethical indecent reasons for her to be around me. Numerous reason; all dishonest and dangerous for me… plenty of dishonest treacherous reasons for her to be around me; from her point of view; Could have been using me the whole time; leading me on; setting me; never intending to take me seriously; simply conning me; and when she saw I was hooked; dump me on the spot; She could have been doing all of these things.
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I think what happened here was typical; I found myself with someone that looked like my dream girl; but in reality; she was never mine; She belonged to the most popular people in any situation; and that wasnt me. At the time I met her she was between things; And so she didn’t bother getting rid of me yet; No reason YET! But when life picked up and summer was over; I was done for; She had no more interest; Not even a summer fling.
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I thought I was in a growing relationship with her; She was in no rel...

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