I need a positive distraction. Its hard to think positive thoughts and reward myself when don't feel like I deserve cheering up.

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Cut again. Knew I would. I tried cheering myself up. Picked up some lilies for the apt and bought some chocolate. Didn't work. I've been trying to keep the cuts limited to my ankle, so they can be covered easily. Piling cuts on top of cuts, slicing over scab and scars. But thats not enough today. I want my whole foot to be covered. I expanded to the top of my foot and my toes. Not alot, just three long lines. They bled alot and that helped. Still not enough.