So it has been 10 days since I started my new medication, Seroquel. I feel like I have finally come out of the depression, but I still have moments when I slide straight back into it, but they are only for a few minutes at best.

So at the moment I am trying to get back into a normal sleeping pattern, but this is really hard with my work being both morning and afternoon shifts right after each other. It is really hard to get to sleep without Valium when you have finished work at 10pm and need to go home and eat and go straight to bed to get up at 4am the next morning. I need to get another job that allows me to work 9-5, that would be great.

Still having the thoughts that other people are looking at me and judging me for my illness, it isn't affecting my ability to go to work but I don't socialize with anyone anymore. I don't like to leave the house unless I have to. I don't text my friends. I barely speak to my wife, the only time we really speak is for the 30,injures after I get home from work, apart from that I avoid contact, both verbally and physically.

So it's been awhile since I posted anything. First off I finally got in to see my counsellour and my doctor and they both agreed that I should be put on to some new medication to help with the depression for the short term. My psychologist recommended I start taking Seroquel, which my doc has now prescribed to me at 150mg once a night to help me to get some sleep again.

I have been taking it for 6 days now and so far I have had uncontrolable hungry, nothing I ate would make me feel full so I just kept eating, and I have had a mild case of akathisia, lucky it happened when I was working and I work in a supermarket do I don't get a chance to stand still, but I do get to sit behind the register when I am scanning items, but today I actually stood and moved from left to right constantly for an hour and a half, but then it just stopped. I am glad that it didn't go on for too long, but even now I can feel my knees starting to ache for movement.

I have read through the Quetiapine forum on here and found that I am not going through anything to severe.

I have found that actually writing out my thoughts, feelings and worries has been surprisingly freeing for me.

I have been in a depressive state for the last three weeks and I finally feel that I am coming out of it. My outlook on life is getting better each day. Still stressed, but that is easing as my wife is now working again.

Landor

I actually got some sleep last night. I have been running on little to no sleep, not included the times I have drunk or medicated myself to sleep, for the last few weeks. I still didn't get to sleep until after 4am, but I did sleep in to 1pm.

Still feel down. But I have been getting the feeling of that i am different to everyone else around me and I just want it to stop. Does that happen to anybody else?
I was at the supermarket today and I felt like everybody there could see right through me and were judging me for being like I am. This is the first time I have ever had that feeling before and I didn't like it at all.

Landor

It is 2:35am, I am laying in bed unable to sleep. My wife has been asleep for at least 3 hours now.

I had yesterday off from work, so I decided to do the only thing I could think of to get out of my own head, I drank. But it wasn't the kind of fun drinking, it was the kind where I would drink way too much in a shirt amount of time and end up throwing up everywhere and passing out. I know that I am self medicating and that It isn't healthy for me to do that. My wife had a stern word about it with me this morning when I dragged myself out of bed about 11am. I am lucky that I am working the night shift for most of the times that I work.

I have hit a plateau with my depression. I am hoping that this means that there is a way out of it. It has been over 2weeks and I don't know how I haven't crumpled under the strain of it all.

I was meant to be going to a bucks night for a good friend of mine tomorrow night, but I have been flip flopping on the decision. I know that being in a social situation can help pull me out of the depression, but at the same time adding in drinking, which is not the best of ideas. I have now decided not to go, mainly due to my anxiety about having to talk to people and socialize. That seems strange to me, as I work in a supermarket as a cashier and I have to talk to people all day. But I think thr only way I can get thought that is because I can shut out the world and just do my job, being paid for it properly has something to do with it.

Well I better try and get some sleep

Landor

I suffer from type 2 bipolar disorder.

Over the last two weeks I have been living in the depression because I have learned to love that side of me. I have lived like that for as long as I could remember. I have a great support system with my wife, but it doesn't help that when I am at my worst is in the middle of the night and she is already asleep