The work Ive been doing; hanging around narcissists and sociopaths and psychopaths within meetings; I mean; Im in rooms full of them... I guess.. And at times some of the women like me. And I like them... Im attracted to them; God is finally showing me as I wake up; showing me the hard line I didnt want to see. The narcissist sociopaths Ive been dealing with lately; the women that have liked me who have betrayed Me; God is showing; " Why were you around them in the first place"; Ive been stunned by this concept.
.
I found out the hardcore nature of the girl I liked because a worthless young monster with no conscious started hitting on her in front of me and she liked it. She courted him right in front of me as if I wasn't their; this horrified me and afterword; after dealing with them or seeing them silently for several months; gave her the label monster.. for me she is a Monster... And that was the sad horror the universe wanted me to see to get me to wake up.
.
Ultimately in order to " Move on" from her and handle all of this reality; The universe had me go back into my first loves memories; memories of her; and work on what happened with her. As I visualize holding her hands and telling her I love her and visualizing it; I began to remember what she really was and why I cut it short. She also was a monster; and when I found out; it was over; I could not do anything about it; she was a sociopath and she was just like my mother the psychopath; and when I realize this it was over between us on the spot. She had no conscious; latter I would discarded by her permanently... I was heart broken; not just because I was discarded; I mean; I could have done something about that; but what good would it have done; nothing; shes a narcissist/sociopath... When I found out what she was I had that frustrated sicking feeling all over my body; now what do I do... Im all alone again; I dont get it. later Ill go back to my home town and live with my best friend and his family; I was in high school; but when I got to his house a horrible thing happened; I was not wanted and non of them were my friends; I got the silent treatment; my God I thought I had finally walked into a place where I safe. I was not safe; and their son; my friend ignored me like he had never known me. I was even more destroyed after that experience living with those monsters... they treated me horribly Iike I was no good trash. Later; they would be found out to be narcissists and sociopaths. Pure evil; but they had money. But I never knew...
.
God is trying to wake me up to a horrible thing; I was surrounded by bad people all my life; pure evil and never knew it.. From every direction. And why; because I went out and found it and never understood what I was looking for; I was attracting evil from every direction. I had no idea until it was 2 late...
.
I had no friends and never knew it.. Now; Im starting to wake up and understand.
.
I have to learn to be around normal people again; not narcissist sociopaths... I have to watch it. Im attracted to them and thats the kind of people I end up around; its cool at first but soon turns into a nightmare... I have to really look at this.... Im starting to and Im starting to wake up.
.
Heres the deal; I have to come out from among them... no future with them... I have to learn how to be around normal people again. The problem has been; I fall for someone and find out their a narcissist or sociopath and I just dont get it until Im harmed horribly. God keeps trying to wake me up to put road blocks in front of me; has been doing it over n over n over again in order to save me and protect me... and its working.. I have to wake up to the message; ive been mentally ill for a long long time asleep for a long long long time... Im slowly starting to wake up again.
Im seeing that the interest in sociopaths that Ive had is a reflection of how I...

[ Continued ]