So I'm in a really bad phase right now, and I'm gonna write down a list of
symptoms that you can relate to if you have hocd, and we can all suffer
together (lol haha,no, I actually wanna show you that ur not alone)

1. It all started with a random thought and you wish you could go back in time to before the thought came. Just now you realize how careless you were.

2. Groinals are the worst. Sometimes they come at absurd things! (Comment down below which was your weirds thing you got groinal on lol),

3. Urges feel so real! You are sitting by your friend and you get a sudden urge to touch their leg or face or kiss them. Horrible!!!!

4. Your phases just jump from bad to worse. One week you are afraid that you're attracted to your bff, the next week that you are attracted to your parent....ugh.

5. You are afraid to even say something bc you think people will just assume you are just gay and afraid to admit. (This spikes me a lot..)

6. In certain phases even saying words such as "gay" , "straight" or "closet" spike you.

7. You have to distance yourself from your trigger or you'd go crazy. Hocd actually ruined a couple of my friendships...ah.

8. You have to change your compulsions constantly because you get a new tigger each day. One day you have to keep repeating to yourself the names of your previous crushes (obviously not the same sex, or the same sex if you are gay) to keep you sane, and the next day it doesn't work.

9. And to make it all worse...loss of attraction. Should I say more? It sucks.

10. Becoming alerted when people ask you who you like or something like that, because you feel like you are lying.

11. Reading 1836383 posts about hocd that relate to you from a - b, but your mind saying "yes, they have hocd but you don't, you are gay".

12. Being unable to wear certain things because you think they make you too masculine/feminine.

13. Being afraid that you are actually asexual - the loss of attraction!!!

14. Suddenly thinking, "oh no! I'm actually bi!" and it just makes it all 10x worse.

15. Spending hours upon hours reading stories from people from hocd and relating to it so much that you cry.

16. Being unable to go to certain places (or have sleepovers etc) because it triggers you.

17. Even certain songs are horrible triggers for you.

18. The awkward moment when you say "i have ocd" and people think that it means you are just obsessed with cleaning. Lol.

19. Having disgusting dreams that feel so real and you wake up aroused and scared to death and it throws you 10 steps back.

20. Trying to remember EVERY childhood memory that could be a sign of you being gay, and also you being straight.

21. Reading through reassuring comments and thinking "ok, this is my last reassurance, now I'll stop, I'll fight it." - it's like a drug.

22. Being afraid that if you ever go to therapy your therapist will say "you just need to come out."

23. Having urges to come out to your parents or your partner. (This is so painful)

24. Feeling like EVERYBODY thinks you are gay and that you should accept it, and also becominh very paranoid about your friends (to me it was being afraid that they'll find a random picture on my phone of a, for ex. my fav female singer or idk, and they would assume I am gay) .......

25. Being afraid to eat certain foods because it's shaped as...well...you know what.

LEAVE A COMMENT OF SOME OF YOUR HOCD PHASES we are strong, we'll push through!