I got my hocd when I was 13 and now I'm 17. I'm a girl and fighting it is so tiring and scary. What I'm experiencing now is hopefully backdoor spike (as some people call it). I have no anxiety but my attraction towards boys is really low and it sucks. I KNOW for a fact that I only admire girls but whenever I see a pretty girl and I know I only think she's pretty, my mind turns it into "you're gay" and I reason with myself (which I'm trying not to do anymore) and say "but i only think she's pretty, i dont have the butterflies like i get for boys" but my mind ignores that. My compulsions are still here (having to say a certain thing, having to act a certain way) and I basically have no social life. When a boy I don't like flirts with me I instantly spike and instead of being like "its not that i dont like guys, i just don't like him" my mind says "you spike because you are gay." I also have the urge to come out, but it's much smaller now. I KNOW I'd NEVER date a girl, I see girls as friends, but hocd just sucks the life outta me. Anyone with the same problem? Please leave your experiences down below..