Never doing that to myself again. I'm giving Michael the break-up speech tomorrow. Bipolar Disorder is pretty rough, let's not lie to ourselves. Even with the right medication at the right dosage taken at the right times, the symptoms can still manifest themselves in different ways. I understand if he doesn't know much about it. I don't understand how he can be okay with remaining woefully ignorant about something that affects his loved one in such a powerful way. For example: Michael has Crohn's disease. I didn't know what is was before we started dating. Now I know what it is, what causes it, and how it's treated? You know why? Because it impacts the man I love. It's that simple. Last night I had a mood crash. For some reason I went from manageable to depressed as hell and was completely unable to manage my emotions. I couldn't focus on the movie and I was hurting so badly that i just went down to go to sleep. He came in and asked what was wrong so I tried to explain my feelings. He wound up getting really angry and frustrated. I tried to explain to him what Bipolar Disorder is and he says, "I know what it is. It's mood swings." Are you kidding me? Just mood swings? Sure. And hell is just a sauna. It hurt me so much to have him minimize my pain and make me feel like a crazy person. I feel terrible enough about this stuff as it is. His defense was that he just doesn't know as much because he's "just a delivery guy." I'm sorry, but I don't accept that. I know that mood disorders aren't exactly common knowledge but we've been together long enough that he should try to make my moments from hell better, not worse. I would give anything to not have these feelings, to not be an alcoholic. My biological mother is an alcoholic and her mother died from complications of alcoholism, so that was kind of to be expected. I've dated other addicts before, and it has its upsides and downsides. I wonder what it would be like to date someone with a mood disorder. That might have the potential for disaster. We'll see.