Porridge Stirs Light Green/Dark Green Heavy Mix


Lord Porridge, the former international vagrant and media whore Jonathan Porridge, told members of the world media gathered in the ecologically sensitive grounds of his oik-proof estate in Gloucestershire, that the Dark Green Movement was "environmentally unsound, socially divisive, and mentally deranged".

His blunt statement can only further deepen the ever-growing split between the mutually hostile Light Green and Dark Green Liberation Movements.

In an overheard telephone conversation between a Slad Road Dark Green activist and a Rodborough sympathiser, the view was clearly expressed that: "the closest the Light Green's have ever been to an ecological disaster, is running out of Champagne or a rather inconvenient case of genital herpes".

Such language can only dash hopes that the almost unbridgeable divide between the mutually exclusive groups could be healed with large amounts of taxpayers money.

Bitch political correspondent Kahlil Gibermann - author of The Prophet Dead Loss - has long speculated that the Light Green establishment has deliberately manipulated the whole situation in order to assure leadership of the Dark Green Movement to self-proclaimed "General" Jorge Menendez of Thrupp, who is known globally for being totally off his chump.

However, as the whitewash fades on the bloodstains, and the dogs of war and peace gather in the Five Valleys, always member: PANIC BUY BEFORE THE RUSH.