Margarine says NO to balls shock!!!



Speaking from his hospital bed only hours after his second arse transplant in as many weeks, Stroud Mayor Cllr. Don Margarine (93) said something that none of the journalists present could understand, although it did sound quite profound. Asked again to elaborate on his political strategy for the Five Valleys none of the reporters present could understand a word he was saying, although it appeared to have something to do with "anarchist baaaasstaaards".

Later at the Prince Edward Public House, Rodborough, Light Green spokesperson Dr. Karen Scratchbites told assembled drunken journalists that although Cllr. Margarine "wasn't the brightest light in his own cerebellum" there was "absolutely no truth in the malicious rumour that his arse transplant has rejected him".

Bitch journalist Mad Dog Ash (no fixed abode) somewhat the worst for wear on a heady mix of slippery tits and lower ganges purple, lowered the whole tone of the press conference by making further outrageous suggestions regarding the precise nature of Cllr. Margarine's surgery.

"I think not", explained a marginally hysterical Dr. Scratchbites (Oxford, Harvard, Bradford Poly), before insulting all the reporters present with words they couldn't understand.

Mad Dog Ash, hallucinating wildly and mistakenly believing himself to be Drongo, a tartan kangaroo from the Great Beyond of Mahatma Ted Grimsby, politely, but most unfortunately , vomited onto her laptop before making his excuses and falling into the usual skip.

Must have been something he ate.

Cllr. Margarine is still believed to be undergoing further surgery for something or other.