I have felt ok these days too.
I have looked pretty, but today there is a slight difference and cannot properly make the makeup to benefit me perfectly, even though I think I look pretty now.

I have realized that if I know that I can look really beautiful, then I cannot accept looking anything less than that. And it will bug me. It brings my spirit down a bit, despite the fact that I totally feel like Im in the "look" of being outside, shopping etc. Now what is stopping me is my mood. Tricky.

Two years ago when I was taking SSRIs I used to handle the bad days better. I stopped them after 6 months because because I felt better, which is a very bad reason. Of course I felt better, it was thanks to them. There were also a few side effects that mattered, so I stopped. I think the past two years have been the hardest to manage for me ever regarding my appearance. No medicine, no psychotherapy, only me and my "rituals".

I asked my mentor/old psychiatrist if I should go back on the antidepressants now again, because I still have bad days. She said that it seems as if I am managing well, so she doesnt think that I need to.

I think she is wrong, but its not her fault, because I acted very confident and normal and I didnt tell her how much I actually suffer. Since I am doing my thesis with her I dont want her to think I am incapable and will be a hard student to work with.
I hoped that she would prescribe me something that day, but she couldnt read my mind and I havent yet discovered telepathy, so of course, for the common eye I may seem normal. That is an exhausting act to put on every day.

I want to be positive because of the good week that I have behind me, as I realize I will have a rough period ahead now that the makeup is changing.

The good thing is that its week end, and I can relax at home. Hopefully get a lot of writing done about BDD. I have learned a lot of new things about it. And I have realized that I need help, more help than my makeup can give. This is not a sustainable solution.

But I am trapped, one more year of hard studies. This will not get easy.