I am alone. I am sad. I am getting rejected by my family over and over and over. They say hurtful things in a kind and calm manner. They say hurtful things in a scary angry tone. They make hurtful accusations that aren't true. They speak the cold hard truth in a way that is destructive, not constructive.They don't like my therapist and say they disagree with most of the things she says. I value the relationship with my T so much; when they say mean things about her I feel like the glue holding me together is getting picked at with a chisel.

I am not alone. I have one friend I talk to often, and one friend who is out of town but who I still consider a close friend though we never see each other. But I feel like a failure when it comes to my relationship with God and my relationship with others.

I am alone. I will most likely be in my bedroom until it's time to go to work.

I am not alone. God sees my pain and everything is for a reason. We live in an imperfect world, where the imperfect dominates. Life will not be perfect until it is eternal.

I am alone. I am not alone.

The never ending cycle; the never ending conflict that is my life.