Songs for avoidants

I love Creep.

I think music has been a good friend throughout my life. I've always used it to help me get in touch with my feelings, whether that be joy, sadness, depression, loneliness, love...

I was severely depressed up until my early twenties, and from what I can remember I spent a lot of time listening to songs that reflected how I felt. I'm not sure if it made things worse or not... but I know I managed to find comfort knowing that if a song could know me, I was not alone.

When Under the Bridge by RHCPs came out, I played it over and over. It made me cry so much... it embodied loneliness and how completely cut off from humanity I felt at the time. I think it somehow helped purge me of suicidal thoughts by helping me release pent up emotions.

I find that now I hunger for positive songs that help give me hope that life will get better.

trence wrote:I find that now I hunger for positive songs that help give me hope that life will get better.

Very few songs can actually make me feel something like happiness. I'm much more easily effected in the negative.

Anyway one of them is Touch of Grey - The Grateful Dead. Another is Let it Be - The Beatles.

You might need to be a hippie like me though to like them.

Those are cool songs, CV.

There is a song I heard lately, which will most likely reflect the extent of my geekdom. It's by Bon Jovi (that should get me kicked out of any coolness club right there, lol). It's very cheesy, and I'd expect anyone to groan, but I think it still has a good message:

"Welcome To Wherever You Are"

Maybe we're different, but we're still the same
We all got the blood of Eden, running through our veins
I know sometimes it's hard for you to see
You come between just who you are and who you wanna be

If you feel alone, and lost and need a friend
Remember every new beginning, is some beginning's end

[Chorus]
Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life, you made it this far
Welcome, you gotta believe
That right here right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be
Welcome, to wherever you are

When everybody's in, and you're left out
And you feel your drowning, in a shadow of a doubt
Everyones a miracle in their own way
Just listen to yourself, not what other people say

When it seems you're lost, alone and feeling down
Remember everybody's different
Just take a look around

[Chorus]

Be who you want to, be who you are
Everyones a hero, everyones a star

When you wanna give up, and your hearts about to break
Remember that you're perfect, God makes no mistakes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qk74a-BX5wE

KILLING ME SOFTLY
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Yea yea yea do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do
I heard he sang a good song,
I heard he had a style,
And so I came to see him and listen for a while
And there he was this young boy
Stranger to my eyes
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
I felt all flushed with fever
Embarrassed by the crowd,
I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud,
I pray that he would finish
But he just kept right on.


AT SEVENTEEN
I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth...
And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say "come dance with me"
And murmured vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems at seventeen...
A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
Said: "Pity please the ones who serve
They only get what they deserve"
The rich relationed hometown queen
Marries into what she needs
With a guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly...
So remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
In debitures of quality and dubious integrity
Their small-town eyes will gape at you
In dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received at seventeen...
To those of us who knew the pain
Of valentines that never came
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball
It was long ago and far away
the world was younger than today
when dreams were all they gave for free
to ugly duckling girls like me...
We all play the game, and when we dare
We cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
That call and say: "Come on, dance with me"
And murmur vague obscenities
At ugly girls like me, at seventeen...


YOU DON'T KNOW ME
You give your hand to me and then you say hello
And I can hardly speak, my heart is beating so
And anyone could tell, you think you know me well
But you don't know me
No you don't know the one who dreams of you at night
And longs to kiss your lips and longs to hold you tight
To you I'm just a friend, and that's all I've ever been
No, you don't know me
For I never knew the art of making love
Though my heart aches with love for you
Afraid and shy I let my chance go by
The chance that you might love me too
You give your hand to me and then you say good-bye
I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy
To never, never know the one who loves you so
No, you don't know me


ANGIE BABY
You live your life in the songs you hear
On the rock and roll radio
And when a young girl doesn't have any friends
That's a really nice place to go
Folks hoping you'd turn out cool
But they had to take you outta school
You're a little touched you know, Angie Baby
Lovers appear in your room each night
And they whirl you across the floor
But they always seem to fade away
When your daddy taps on your door
Angie girl, are you all right
Tell the radio good-night
All alone once more, Angie Baby
Angie Baby, you're a special lady
Living in a world of make-believe
Well, maybe
Stopping at her house is a neighbor boy
With evil on his mind
'Cause he's been peeking in Angie's room
At night through her window blind
I see your folks have gone away
Would you dance with me today
I'll show you how to have a good time, Angie Baby
When he walks in her room,
He feels confused like he's walked into a play
And the music's so loud it spins him around
'Til his soul has lost its way
And as she turns the volume down
He's getting smaller with the sound
It seems to pull him off the ground
Toward the radio he's bound never to be found
The headlines read that a boy disappeared
and everyone thinks he died
'Cept a crazy girl with a secret lover
Who keeps her satisfied
It's so nice to be insane
No one asks you to explain
Radio by your side, Angie Baby
Angie Baby, you're a special lady
Living in a world of make-believe
Well, maybe
Well, maybe


ELEANOR RIGBY
Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people
Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from ?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong ?
Father McKenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near.
Look at him working. Darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there
What does he care?
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?


HE STOPPED LOVING HER TODAY
He said I'll love you 'til I die
She told him you'll forget in time
As the years went slowly by
She still preyed upon his mind
He kept her picture on his wall
Went half crazy now and then
He still loved her through it all
Hoping she'd come back again
Kept some letters by his bed
Dated 1962
He had underlined in red
Every single I love you
I went to see him just today
Oh but I didn't see no tears
All dressed up to go away
First time I'd seen him smile in years
He stopped loving her today
They placed a wreath upon his door
And soon they'll carry him away
He stopped loving her today
You know she came to see him one last time
Oh and we all wondered if she would
And it kept running through my mind
This time he's over her for good


WHITE SPORT COAT
A white sport coat and a pink carnation
I'm all dressed up for the dance.
A white sport coat and a pink carnation,
I'm all alone in romance.
Once you told me long ago, to the prom with me
you'd go, now you've changed your mind,
it seems someone else will hold my dreams.
A white sport coat and a pink carnation,
I'm in a blue, blue mood.


KING OF WISHFUL THINKING
I don't need to fall at your feet
Just 'cause you cut me to the bone
And I won't miss the way that you kiss me
We were never carved in stone
If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..
I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I am the king of wishful thinking
I refuse to give in to my blues
That's not how it's going to be
And I deny the tears in my eyes
I don't want to let you see.. no
That you have made a hole in my heart
And now I've got to fool myself..
I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking..
I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I will never, never shed a tear for you
I'll get over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

ALONE AGAIN NATURALLY (My Anthem)
In a little while from now
If I’m not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower
And climbing to the top will throw myself off
In an effort to make it clear to who
Ever what it’s like when you’re shattered
Left standing in the lurch at a church
Where people saying: "My God, that’s tough
She's stood him up"
No point in us remaining
We may as well go home
As I did on my own
Alone again, naturally
To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, bright and gay
Looking forward to well wouldn’t do
The role I was about to play
But as if to knock me down
Reality came around
And without so much, as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces
Leaving me to doubt
Talk about God and His mercy
Or if He really does exist
Why did He desert me in my hour of need
I truly am indeed Alone again, naturally
It seems to me that there are more hearts
broken in the world that can’t be mended
Left unattended
What do we do? What do we do?
Alone again, naturally
Now looking back over the years
And whatever else that appears
I remember I cried when my father died
Never wishing to hide the tears
And at sixty-five years old
My mother, God rest her soul,
Couldn’t understand why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken
Leaving her to start with a heart so badly broken
Despite encouragement from me
No words were ever spoken
And when she passed away
I cried and cried all day
Alone again, naturally
Alone again, naturally


I WILL WAIT FOR YOU (My Other Anthem)
If it takes forever I will wait for you
For a thousand summers I will wait for you
'Till you're back beside me, 'till I'm holding you
'Till I hear you sigh here in my arms
Anywhere you wander, anywhere you go
Every day remember how I love you so
In your heart believe what in my heart I know
That forever more I'll wait for you
The clock will tick away the hours one by one
And then the time will come when all the waiting's done
The time when you return and find me here and run
Straight to my waiting arms
If it takes forever I will wait for you
For a thousand summers I will wait for you
'Till you're here beside me, 'till I'm holding you
And forever more sharing your love
And forever more I'll wait for you

I thank the great artists whose words have inspired me, so beautifully articulated my pain, and eased my loneliness. [/b]

Goodbye To Romance - Ozzy Osbourne

Yesterday has been and gone
Tommorow will I find the sun
Or will it rain
Everybody's having fun
Except me, I'm the lonely one
I live in shame

I say goodbye to romance, yeah
Goodbye to friends, I tell you
Goodbye to all the past
I guess that we'll meet
We'll meet in the end

I've been the king, I've been the clown
Now broken wings can't hold me down
I'm free again
The jester with the broken crown
It won't be me this time around
To love in vain

I say goodbye to romance, yeah
Goodbye to friends, I tell you
Goodbye to all the past
I guess that we'll meet
We'll meet in the end

And I feel the time is right
Although I know that you just might say to me
What'cha gonna do
What'cha gonna do
But I have to take this chance goodbye
To friends and to romance
And to all of you
And to all of you
Come on now

I say goodbye to romance, yeah
Goodbye to friends, I tell you
Goodbye to all the past
I guess that we'll meet
We'll meet in the end

And the weather's looking fine
And I think the sun will shine again
And I feel I've cleared my mind
All the past is left behind again

I say goodbye to romance, yeah
Goodbye to friends, I tell you
Goodbye to all the past
I guess that we'll meet
We'll meet in the end

Portilloizay that great song It's one of my favourites, with my guitar hero playing on it.

these are some Elliott Smith songs that portray AVPD really well. I relate to his music a lot.

GO BY
go on and parade and fade
hit the scene and slow
spending all your time with some girl
you'll never get to know
wound uptight
dressed all in white
some ?
blowing out to drift
need you even here

you live up in your head
scared of every little noise
someone always breaking in accidently
using nothing but their voice
shrill and small echo down the hall repeating pet names
sitting in your eyes, you're only passing by

go by
go by
go by
go by

someones in the way pretty words and inside slurs
all the things they have to say
to perform the work that they've rehearse it's a waste of time
i put it behind me once and for all
and let the time decline if the problem wasn't mine

go by
go by
go by


I BETTER BE QUIET NOW
Wish you gave me a number
Wish I could call you today
Just to hear a voice
I got a long way to go
Getting further away

If I didn't know the difference
Living alone would probably be ok
It wouldn't be lonely
I got a long way to go
Getting further away

A lot of hours to occupy, it was easy
When I didn't know you yet
Things I'd have to forget

But I better be quiet now
I'm tired of wasting my breath
Carrying on, getting upset

Maybe I have a problem
But that's not what I wanted to say
I prefer to say nothing
I got a long way to go
Getting further away

Had a dream as an army man with an order
Just to march in my place
But a dead enemy
Screams in my face

But I better be quiet now
I'm tired of wasting my breath
Carrying on, not over it yet

Wish I knew what you were doing
Why you want to do it this way
So I can't go the distance
I got a long way to go
I'm getting further away
I got a long way to go
Getting further away

NO NAME #5
Got bitten fingernails and a head full of the past
And everybody's gone at last
A sweet, sweet smile that's fading fast
Because everybody's gone at last
And you don't get upset about it
No, not anymore
There's nothing wrong
That wasn't wrong before
Had a second alone with a chance let pass
And everybody's gone at last
Well, I hope you're not waiting
Waiting around for me
Because I'm not going anywhere
Obviously
Got a broken heart and your name on my cast
And everybody's gone at last
Everybody's gone at last

THE ENEMY IS YOU
You got your head turned around
Walking upside down
Through the sunken dream
Through the crushing crowd
You don't know what it means
Because you're a broken machine
You won't lisp it out
You're dressing up your man
It's all second hand
It's all hindsight
You don't understand
It's just an empty scene
It's still an empty scheme
You want to block it out
But I know what I'm going to do
With this big doubt
I'm going to make it go away
When you go walking out in
The rose city
Without a ######6 clue
With an attitude
Knowing what you need
What you will not do
The enemy is you
You beat up on yourself
Because there ain't no one else
Who feels quite as good
To put straight through hell
You know yourself well
You know what you're about
Just want to block it out
Well, I know what I'm going to do
With this big doubt
I'm going to hide my face away
Block it out
Well, I know what I'm going to do
With this big doubt
I'm going to make it go away

There's a line in the song "Brand New Game" that pretty much sums up AvPD:

"No happiness allowed
cause one's never enough, two is always a crowd"

I think in all likelihood, Elliott Smith had AvPD or SA; the lyrics just fit it so well.

This song is more about schizophrenia but I think its relatable to avpd as well.

Black Sabbath- Megalomania

I hide myself inside the shadows of shame
The silent symphonies were playing their game
My body echoed to the dreams of my soul
This God is something that I could not control

Where can I run to now?
The joke is on me
No sympathizing God is insanity, yeah
Why dont you just get out of my life, yeah?
Why dont you just get out of my life now?
Why doesnt everybody leave me alone now?
Why doesnt everybody leave me alone, yeah?

Obsessed with fantasy, possessed with my schemes
I mixed reality with pseudogod dreams
The ghost of violence was something I seen
I sold my soul to be the human obscene

How could it poison me?
The dream of my soul
How did my fantasies take complete control, yeah?
Why dont you just get out of my life, yeah?
Why dont you just get out of my life now?
Why doesnt everybody leave me alone now?
Why doesnt everybody leave me alone, yeah?

Well I feel somethings taken me I dont know where
Its like a trip inside a separate mind
The ghost of tomorrow from my favorite dream
Is telling me to leave it all behind
Feel it slipping away, slipping in tomorrow
Got to get to happiness, want no more of sorrow

How I lied, went to hide
How I tried to get away from you now
Am I right if I fight?
That I might just get away from you now
Sting me!

Well I feel somethings giving me the chance to return
Its giving me the chance of saving my soul
Beating the demigod, Im fading away
Im going backwards but Im in control
Feel it slipping away, slipping in tomorrow
Getting back to sanity, providence of sorrow

Was it wise to disguise
How I tried to get away from you now
Is there a way that I could pay
Or is it true I have to stay with you now?

How I lied, went to hide
How I tried to get away from you now
Am I right if I fight?
That I might just get away from you now
Suck me!

Im really digging schizophrenia the best of the earth
Ive seized my soul in the fires of hell
Peace of mind eluded me, but now its all mine
I simply try, but he wants me to fail
Feel it slipping away, slipping in tomorrow
Now Ive found my happiness, providence of sorrow

No more lies, I got wise
I despise the way I worshipped you yeah
Now Im free, cant you see
And now instead I wont be led by you now
Free!

For me this songs' atmosphere tells it all. The lyrics fit in with that.

Black Sabbath - Solitude

My name it means nothing
my fortune is less
My future is shrouded in dark wilderness
Sunshine is far away, clouds linger on
Everything I posessed - Now they are gone

Oh where can I go to and what can I do?
Nothing can please me only thoughts are of you
You just laughed when I begged you to stay
I've not stopped crying since you went away

The world is a lonely place - you're on your own
Guess I will go home - sit down and moan.
Crying and thinking is all that I do
Memories I have remind me of you

Panic Attack by Dream Theater

All wound up
On the edge
Terrified

Sleep disturbed
Restless mind
Petrified

Bouts of fear
Permeate
All I see

Heightening
Nervousness
Threatens me

I am paralyzed
So afraid to die

Caught off guard
Warning signs
Never show

Tension strikes
Choking me
Worries grow

Why do I feel so numb
Is it something to do with where I come from
Should this be fight or flight
I don't know why I'm constantly so uptight

Rapid heartbeat pounding through my chest
Agitated body in distress
I feel like I'm in danger
Daily life is strangled by my stress

A stifling surge
Shooting through all my veins
Extreme apprehension
Suddenly I'm insane

Lost all hope for redemption
A grave situation desperate at best

Why do I feel so numb
Is it something to do with where I come from
Should this be fight or flight
I don't know why I'm constantly reeling

Helpless hysteria
A false sense of urgency
Trapped in my phobia
Possessed by anxiety

Run
Try to hide
Overwhelmed by this complex delirium

Helpless hysteria
A false sense of urgency
Trapped in my phobia
Possessed by anxiety

Run
Try to hide
Overwhelmed by this complex delirium