Dumbest Thing(s) You've Ever Done

I thought this could be an interesting question to pose on here because when I ask the average person I get 'oh well I was drunk and..." and when I ask them to cut out drunk times they shrug and walk away. Like they're perfectly sensible when they're sober. I figured it was worth a shot to ask on here, to see if facepalm moments are any commoner on here than I think.

To get things rolling,

-Some of you may know this already, but there was that time a couple weeks back when I promised myself I'd speak all of my thoughts aloud for a day, as a way to quit fantasizing cold turkey. I sounded like the inside of a schizophrenic's head, and I drew drawings to match. I was lucky that everyone spent most of the day at work, and I blamed my weirdness on sleeping pills the next day.

-Back when I was young and foolish, aka back in high school a few years ago, I was trying to assimilate the illusion of romance. I took any and all advice I could implement, and ended up admitting a fake crush to a boy, only to have him say he didn't do relationships and walked off to band class. I spent a moment looking tense when I was really trying to think of what girls were supposed to do in that position, so I pulled out my saddest thoughts and squeezed out some tears. A minute later after I had the proper tear-streaked lines below my eyes, I opened them and I was standing alone in a hallway, crying. I chided myself for wasting valuable body fluid, as it was nearly summer, and for indulging in this charade in the first place. Word would get out (which it did) and people would.. urgh... approach me. I'd kept a low profile until then, so the last few weeks of school were unbearable. Luckily the year after people went back to forgetting they ever knew me.

-Once, a little kid asked me what I was thinking about, right while I was in the middle of a fantasy. This is a bit of a double-header dumb thing I've done. I occasionally employ Youtube hypnosis videos, and that morning I had watched one for complete and total honesty to a fault. (it's now been removed by uploader. ) I cannot even begin to describe how much I'm annoyed with my own retrospective stupidity in doing so, after I knew that my elaborate fantasizing was something to be kept secret, along with all other sorts of girly gossip people trust me with because I don't care enough to blab. So, I made about six girls cry that day because I told people things honestly and completely (I'm apparently very suggestive with hypnosis) and when the kid asked me what I was thinking about, I described in detail my fantasy about the alien invasion of the world that I was helping out with, and about how it was nearing completion and we were about to hit up the vice president's condo to kidnap his kid. The kid was pretty interested and we got to a stalemate at gunpoint before he had to go, but when he told his mother about what was up she got pretty mad with me, and I never saw the kid again.

Alright, I have blabbed enough for now. I hope I improved my ramble-blocker and my word specificity.

When I was a kid I carried a 15lb snapping turtle home. I'm lucky to still have all my fingers.

Laughed at a kid who drew a gun on me.

I don't really know how many things I've done that were dumb to most people but normal according to me, but probably the dumbest thing I've done and that I was able to recognize as dumb afterwards is this.

In 3rd grade I found a blue pencil that didn't belong to me on my desk and I started coloring my desk with it.
When the teacher noticd this she got mad at me and I couldn't care less (don't know why).
I had to clean all the desk then.

I neither know why the heck I did that, I just felt the impulse and did it.
I realized it had been very dumb in the very second I finished coloring the desk.

I've done plenty of dumb things and a few crazy things too. The dumbest (in my opinion) revolved around sex and relationships, and my ignorance of what is normal/expected behaviour. I will spare everyone the details.

Forging my parents' signatures so I didn't have to face them about my grades. It worked flawlessly until the teacher called, asking why they never called to schedule after-school tutoring.
I think my @ss nearly fell off from that whooping.

Taking a job at the front desk of a mental health clinic. *cringe*

Dating and having sex with another person.

Baking bread but forgetting to activate the yeast, so I just sat there eating a flat loaf with gritty dry yeast pellets for sandwich bread and had to deal with it because I used the last of the flour.

Does hitting one of your parents in the face count as a dumb action or a great action?

Also, not double checking to see if I locked my dorm room door before masturbating

^ Depends upon whether it achieved the desired result.

Field_Medic wrote:Forging my parents' signatures so I didn't have to face them about my grades. It worked flawlessly until the teacher called, asking why they never called to schedule after-school tutoring.
I think my @ss nearly fell off from that whooping.

I once forged my mom's signature on a permission slip for the 8th grade dance. I was just messing around and threw it in the recycling bin. Later that day the teacher called me over and asked if I was planning on attending the dance. I'm all "Psh, NO!". And she said "That's good or I'd have had to suspend you for forging this permission slip I found in the recycling bin."

Field_Medic wrote:Taking a job at the front desk of a mental health clinic. *cringe*

I once had a front desk job
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Solitarian wrote:...When I was sixteen I got a job working at the front desk of a spa and sports center. It didn't really work out. A guy asked if he could borrow a pair of thongs, I said "we don't lend out THONGS sir" looking at him like he was some kind of pervert, not knowing he meant sandals. Another couple asked if they could set up a tee time, I said "I'm not much of a tea drinker but I don't think you need an appointment". I was fired pretty quick. They said I wasn't a "people pleaser".

Field_Medic wrote:Baking bread but forgetting to activate the yeast, so I just sat there eating a flat loaf with gritty dry yeast pellets for sandwich bread and had to deal with it because I used the last of the flour.

might I suggest Instant Yeast?

Field_Medic wrote:Forging my parents' signatures so I didn't have to face them about my grades.

I once forged my report card to avoid showing my parents my grades. Made them higher but still believable. My mom never found out