Is Dating worth it?

I know there have been a few similar threads, so here we go again. I have never been a date and never have had the inclination to do so. For me it has always seemed kind of stupid. My family and a few acquaintances have been bothering me about it recently (again). My question is should I finally just give in and try to go on a date/ get a girlfriend, or just continue on not trying.

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The concept of "dating" as a formal activity has always seemed odd to me. If I were to get into a relationship with someone it would have to arise organically somehow or else it would just feel very awkward for me.

Having an SO wouldn't really work because the relationship would require frequent and consistent maintenance which is not something that I can provide. I don't mind becoming intimate with some people in some instances but I need to be able to turn that relationship "off" when I need to, and that is just not a fair or realistic expectation.

I'm the sort of person who can be very emotionally indulgent in brief episodes but then completely cold and indifferent the rest of the time. That sort of thing would drive most people mad.

Why can't other people come with little power switches on their backs?

Demigodz wrote:I know there have been a few similar threads, so here we go again. I have never been a date and never have had the inclination to do so. For me it has always seemed kind of stupid. My family and a few acquaintances have been bothering me about it recently (again). My question is should I finally just give in and try to go on a date/ get a girlfriend, or just continue on not trying.

I went out with one girl for a year and a half. She was very introverted, she had almost no friends outside work, which made things easier. It wasn't torture, there were good moments, bad moments, awkward/uncomfortable moments. I feel like it would have been much more difficult/impossible with almost anyone else, but thats just speculation. I guess what I'd do is write down the pros and cons on a piece of paper, and ask yourself if its worth it. I'd assume no, but hey, maybe you're willing to give it a try. Who you are considering dating makes a big difference, in fact, it probably makes the biggest difference out of everything.

Also, keep in mind that actual, sit down, dates will be likely very awkward, so try to do something active. My first date was laser tag

roscid wrote:I'm the sort of person who can be very emotionally indulgent in brief episodes but then completely cold and indifferent the rest of the time. That sort of thing would drive most people mad.

Why can't other people come with little power switches on their backs?

If only

At least they can in your dreams

Just think about it man. In the long run, escorts will cost you less, and give you more of the good and less of the bad.

Now you (or other numbnuts that like to pop up) may disagree. But what makes buying a 20,000 dollar ring okay but not a surgery? (that costs less and is much more beneficial because why have a 25 year old when a 16 year old is interested in you)

And what makes a date that costs you 200 dollars just so you can get a kiss on your cheek a good deal?

Dating isn't worth it, and going further than dating just makes it worse.

For me I think it is unfair to expect somebody to understand my complicated mind cause I know it would lead to dissapointment for me and it's not their fault. My inability to connect or comprehend another human being on an emotional and psychological level will not only make me push them away but probably hurt them more, which I have been told is not a good thing. I would end up putting my mask on and living on their pathetic level of reality. Or maby I'm insane.

EmpathySucks wrote:Just think about it man. In the long run, escorts will cost you less, and give you more of the good and less of the bad.

Now you (or other numbnuts that like to pop up) may disagree. But what makes buying a 20,000 dollar ring okay but not a surgery? (that costs less and is much more beneficial because why have a 25 year old when a 16 year old is interested in you)

And what makes a date that costs you 200 dollars just so you can get a kiss on your cheek a good deal?

Dating isn't worth it, and going further than dating just makes it worse.

Hahaha love this answer. Not sure how serious you are but one of the funniest replies I could of hoped for.

9freak wrote:For me I think it is unfair to expect somebody to understand my complicated mind cause I know it would lead to dissapointment for me and it's not their fault. My inability to connect or comprehend another human being on an emotional and psychological level will not only make me push them away but probably hurt them more, which I have been told is not a good thing. I would end up putting my mask on and living on their pathetic level of reality. Or maby I'm insane.

I have thought of that too. From what I understand dating involves some level of emotional attachment I doubt that I will every be able to give. Don'tworry if your insane I am right there with ya

It's funny. Once I dated someone for a year and didn't know I was dating him. I thought of him as a friend -- you know, those people that you spend time with, and then feel obligated to spend more time with, because they seem to want to spend more time with you. He was very patient. He waited a whole year to make a move on me. It didn't go well after that.

For me, no relationships are really worth it. I just don't get anything out of them. Some SPDs like sex though, so there's that. You could aim for "dating but not seriously". I think that's tolerable, so long as you don't let it go beyond five dates.

My favorite romantic "relationship" ever was years ago with the clerk at the eletronics store. I'd pop by every week, and he'd show me his new favorite gadgets very excitedly and we'd just flirt and engage in general geek talk. He always looked like he was gearing up to ask me out, but thankfully for me, he was shy and he never did. Best relationship ever. No overtones of ever becoming something tangiable or intimate. I wish I could develop those sorts of relationships all the time. Before, that's what the internet was about -- just complete, impersonal, anonymous communication with likeminded strangers. And then Facebook happened. Worst thing ever.

Actually "dating" has never been something I understood. What does work for me is inviting someone I want to hang out with out to do something we both like to do. Or we both only half-like to do, which leads to more conversation. It's also less of an expense for a reward sort of thing: I don't mind spending money to do something I would want to do (or half want to do) anyway.

I was "courted" last year by a female friend in a desperate bid to find someone after her breakup. I didn't realize she was "dating" me and she was savvy enough to realize this and move on after the 3rd or 4th attempt. The hints I unintentionally dropped (inviting everyone else I know out as well) were probably pretty big signs. I only realized in retrospect when I find out from other friends that they were declining my invites because they wanted me to hang out with just this one person.