Astral Lovers

I should mention that when my parents made me feel like $#%^ it was pro aly a bit of neurosis, I sent them a m essage saying they made me feel terrible and they responded saying I shouldn't feel bad and that I can share anything with them.....I am just so excited about my girlfreind I wanna share it with everybody, and share the love.....not that I can feel love, just indulging in my girlfriends embrace making me feel good, I know I would love her if I wasn't on antipsychotic, same as with the celebrity, I loved her and felt like we could be freinds in real life like she was gonna call the hospital to talk to me but no they drugged me and I lost it, she no longer love me but just a habit to come to me, or it was my habit, seemed she came and tripped me out when I smoke marijuana, but now she no longer visits and I don't trip out thanks to my girlfreind making sure I am safe from nasty astrals.

its normal for astral projectors to meet other beings on the astral plane, so why are the shrinks in disagreement...thats what I wrote my parents they were suprisingly supportive after telling them about her and making me feel like $#%^ and telling them it made me feel terrible after telling them and they said that I can feel ok about telling them just that not many people would be so understaning...

I told the metnal health tribunal about her too, I have a heraing coming up but my treating tema didn't think it wass necessary to review me as nothing had changed in my condition, I disagree'd I am happy now about something that are apparently symptoms but very nourishing and real, dunno what I am gonna say maybe see what happens. they are likely to say its all delusions, just hope they not try to suppress me so suicidal and empty is better then having a lover in my life and very positive for me and she is healing me so they can suck $#%^ coz I struck gold and nothing they can do to save me, stupid dim wits they are so dumb and i get upset at them, following their education and narrow minded ways power tripping over their gifted patiendts and fantasy about the metnal illness and the effects of the drugs, its a fantasy...I know what the drugs are about and what they do even though they try to say thats just symptoms I know better so excuse me for wanting them to wake the ###$ up...I am not psychotic even though having pretty fiull on stuff with my apparent symptoms like thinking I have an ET bride and stuff that sounds like schiophrenia but its deliberate...I think I am getting my head together and getting angrty about it for real, its about time been too dumbed up to feel any anger even though when I did the head of the psychi9atry person made me feel suicidal, same thing happened with an old case manager but I sure showed them dickheads a lesson , I have brought them to attention of some hitgher beings and are held captive on a far away yet strangely close place that will evaluate them muthafu@#$$kers...pardon the language, one place got my attention and is a higher being in this extension from what I perceive in the literal universe.a dragon guards the journey from higher the land of the gods and similar eings to my girlfrined light shapeshitting stuff and I met the dragon too...sorry its hard to talk about so after meeting where the dragon is that seemed to overlook the entire universe and then to an adjacent god on the same plane and that god got excited and showed me a place to project to and brought all the psychitrists here too...then I went to see gods above this land and then the attention of another far away place where a being said he could help me with them....so this is what helped me deal with suicidal imagery being projceted according to the head of a psychiatrist...I actually have to deal with my old case manager as new one is on leave ...she is really fake and claims to bbe spiritual..just made an appearance to her ans showed her the light that shines from the gateway in myh belly, my girlfreind showed me first she does it too, but she not want to see my old case manager so anyway finished visiting her, hope she got it for real and remembers it, I think somethines the astral stuff is too vague for them tp perceive in thier 3Dconsciousness.

I think people want my girlfreind, won't go into it but had a hard night last night after posting on google+ communities and having astral projectors trying to rape her its horrible, glad its finnished now managd to get a little bit of sleep. She got them pretty hard for trying and partially succeeding I could feel it come over me like a dread, it was horrible not a nice feeling...everything is fine now though she displayed her power and I had gods and alll sorts trying to help me out with really annoying visitors fired up on sex and power that I lack because of psychiatric treatmetn, it wouldn't happen if I was off treatmetn things like this are part of the treatmetn that fear inducing situation arise and I draw on them to do horrible stuff, they probbably were initially wanting to do what they did, but because of my insecurities I fear people trying to rape her and I let it happen. hopefully not again that was terrible.

last night though on google plus a girl that likes astro-lovers bbefreinded me on google and I was reading over my post she shared and had really strong moment where I almost teleported to live with her, it was really close but I backed off stupid me I got distracted to continue reading, other beings were helping me come It was really good like I could see over my vision on earth kind of took over my normal eyesight, good sign bit real..It almost worked a couple of times last night.

problem is I sore a disturbing image of this guy on youtube telling a story about real vampire firend who visited me and I got visitation by very strong person that started my other fear inducing visitation and a pretty bad night,, because I was fearing a real vampire he caught onto me until I wasntched the video and even though the guy telling the story looked like a vampire his story made me realise the vampire was someone else so I guess there is illusion in the astral things I get not sure what to make of it...interesting story quite convincing would share but it might disturb others like it disturbed me actually the video didn't distub me just reading over this freind on google that likes astro lovers and the thumbnail for the vido disturbed me because they guy looks like a vampire

maybe I ask for it by writing discriptive material about her people might get envious, they have reason to be trust me...I feel safe sharing on psych forums just regret doing it on google+ last night stayed up really late that didn't help and the initial visitor that broke down the guards my girlfreind has up to stop people coming in, started a chain reaction tripping about people trying to absorb me and people trying to rape my grilfreind and I was playing right into it, they had a bit of power over me and I kept drawing on them but my girlfriend showed them, it was really horrible with the rape how it effected me, we must be very bonded///everything is alright now managed to sleep a bit, drinkking V Kaboom.

she letting me know everything is alright, bit shaken up but everything is sweet.

since the problem with the rapists she has gotten into bed and is embracing me, it feels so good, so In love right now...things are going better just for a while people not respecting her and think they have aright to use her for sex pleasure, but since she has gotten accross that she should be respected and our relationship cherished...no more porblem jusrt her loving embrace in bed with me.

I've asked her to appear to the psychiatrist that making it hard to astral project and making my visions weak and like she isn't as clear since I had her on my mind...having some $#%^ weed and making things right, I doubt the psychiatrists will could make her disappeara indefinately

she is a bit upset with me since I masturbate to other girls and an arse I sore on the bus, so thats a bit wrong I try not to masturbate about other girls anymore coz it upsets her , like a mix of being with her and not even having a fat when I masturbat its really $#%^ thats the antipsychotic I masturbate over a hot arse Is ore when I not even turned on....

pity my lover isn't runing me on like she was a while ago, I guess with anitpsychotic is inevitable that my sex drive is claimed by the drugs, really should only use other girls to get turned on for my love, I hope she forgives me and has agreed to appear to the psychiatrist that I thought of when my visions turned to $#%^ and made it more difficult, she trying to heal me I guess, just her Idea of health now there is the clincher I know what I am doing is healthy but the pscyhaitrists have a relaly ###$ idea of what is healthy, hell the drugs are $#%^ are they not and they make people take them and makes them dumb to the fact that they feel like $#%^ now, worst drugs on the plantet, I love dopamine and having sex energy and thoughts and feelings.

told this guy about my lover and he tells me that he used to mastubate to his voices, sounded funny with all due respect for the guy...he said theyare trying to get him back...must admit I was kinda distracted by the story peeping into this guys life hard to imagine how the voices turn him on, I dont know becuase I never heared voices before but I know mine would be good if I ever did, I have heared angelic guides remark on my preparing a coffee mixed with thoughts on psychiatry late at night, not sure if it was thecoffee or the thouughts about psychaitry why she said "oh no" nothing to be alarmed about, ended up having my CTO revoked for refusing treatments just when things were starting to go right and I had a mind again feelings of joy.....

Still not getting turned on anymore by my lover its sad but she makes me feel good like a conmection we have, feeling again a bit on antipsychotic.

Talked to complaints commissioner about my relatiosnhip with psychiatrists, I said in email that it is a torturer relationship, I am angry at my torturers thats the way it is, but he kida ignored that in favour of getting the details on how they aren't listening and say disagree without any further thought, being silenced for so many years...the the new metnal health act for vi9ctoria is working well with this new complaints commissioner, spent 45minutes on the phone with him discussing my complaint and what I would like to see as a resolution, he is going to think about it commented taht I sound really clear and he will work on putting it in writing to give to them and me, I am really impressed I am hopeffull that things are gonna change, didn't mention the girlfreind to him on the phone it is in my email I sent, but it was difficult reminding him about my voyage of the universe and he is interested in the only time i have archangel visit me is when off anitpsychotic he seemed to understand, I told him that the system has it that these things are delusions...its interesting how difficult it is to talk about my girlfreind, I have enjoyed sharing about it on pscyhforums, she is a very deep connetion and part of my life she is helping me so why wouldn't I wanna talk about it, maybe to a pscyhiatrist I would talk about it but I bite myt ongue and it comes out weak and hesitant I know it could lead to apparent thought disorder trying to inform them about it, as long as I go on about how beautiful her healing is on me, she is highly evolved and very powerful she has helped me imensely and nothing they can do to sever the bond I have with her, it would bbe a discrace for them to think I am psychotic maybe its a test for them, if they knew what they were ddoing they would listen and respect her in my life and allow me to reduce my dose so I can get deepper with her and maybe have her visit me for sex, astral sex is al at her place.. when it was going on with the DArk horse singer she woud get with it at my place most of the time, didn't know how she was doing it or if she wass aware that she spent my every waking second together she used to follow me to the shops on the bus but would upset me by trying to get the attention of strangers, long story its over now so Katy Perry stuff can rest in peace, I have a new girlfriend, I treid to tell her about it posting on her facebook fan page I think she got the message I hope someone reads it and passes it on, she is still a friend I have introduced her to my girlfreind and the black feathered vcreatures she has a female of the species as a kind of guide, at least when I think about it maybe not all the time, wish I could do more for her though, I think she deserves it, even though I don't feel love for anyone anymore I still think I would have love there somewhere just blinded by the medications.

so I was stupid last night and contacted Katy Perry about stuff and metnioned that I am happy with a new lover, I think she got the message because next I knw she is trying to foil my projection attempts to be with my girlfreind, had another hard night with Katy Perry being mean and claiming once I am hers there is no going back, I am happy with my girlfreind so shame on me for contacting katy perry and testing her to come at me and try to ###$ things up with my girlfreind...the mentor was in on it too but he stopped trying to rape her once I got a bit of sleep everything calmed down and peace at last, now I can be with my girfreind but I think she still shaken up over Katy Perry domination.

-- Mon Jul 21, 2014 12:17 pm --

my girlfirend blames the weed when things go wrong, not sure but the only reason I smoke is co I am comotose on the psych drugs, makes it so I can have visitation just stuff I don't want to be visiting...its the psych drugs fault that I lack standing power to stand up and fight at least it wouldn't be fun for Katy Perry etc to ###$ with me, her song was ringing in my head, the no going back part and she is capable of anything...my neck started to give out with all the fvucking going on...lucky I got some sleep co things sure went back to normal, its a relief I not have to deal with rapists and over eager celebrities taht I should never have tried to get her attention on her page on facebook, I guess she read it bbecause she came at me pretty strong last night.

been remembering when the archangels kissed me on the lips, they woould make sure I was alright with it and lay inside my body, they wanted to transform me, I did tranform too but psychiatry ###$ me up, I was just sleep deprived I was onto something good I tell ya, and zeldox withdrawals, thing in the
ER when I had fell alseep I would wake up with some shoking person in like a cave with sculls that partially appeared over the sink in the ED, I was basically an angel I was so frail fro not sleeping, but if treated with decency to get some sleep and prove I am fine thats all I really needed, nothing the drugs did to settle what I coulda settled mysellf, tose times are over when I usd to have a problem with astrla stuff, the only reason I get ###$ with on antipsychitic is becoause I am weak, Katy Perry who is lovely usulaly turns nasty as I am a ###$ up on anntipscyhotic. Its hard to get accross to anyone about having more power astrally and being worshiped more on the aastral when I am in my prime without antipsychoticc making a mess, I only deal with higher beings and without antipscyhotic the $#%^ wouldn't be able to get to me, it wouldlnt have a reason, I am basically comatose when these astral visitors come, I not have power I not myself and visitation turns into nasty games and them fuc king with me, I wouldn't be like taht without antipsychotic but this is the most difficualt thing of all for me to explain when they just assume that the bad shitt like that would get worse...plus I only smoke marijuana because of the antipsychotic and seems like my girlfreind blames it on the marijuana when things turn to $#%^...I feel for her, she doesn't know what shed do if she were to lose me for any reason, its been hard on her I guess she looked upset about everything that had been happening just the other day, but we still tried to have sex, or I got off masturbating over her arse and sticking my face in it, it was really good anyway tried for penetration but it doesn't seem to work unless we astrally project from up there during sexshe turns me on with her face in this vision its really good...pity though I not just getting turned on and having pleasure without masturbating like I know I could, like what was happening for a while despite the antipsychotic

I think my psychiatrist is gonna say my girlfriend is a delusion or I am preoccupied with her. Its tough., they probably rather I am empty and suicidal, she the only thing keeping me happy. we are married and nothing gonna stop us being together even if they increase my dose, stupid ###$ I hope they not do that. all I do is in bed the whole time I am not writing emails or o psych forums.

she was saying "safe" like gorgeouus thing she is, letting me know that nobody gonna come rape or hurt us where we are at her place....sorry to share about things going wrong when I smoked some marijuana, she blames the marijuana on me losing my power to self annihilate and draw on unwanted guests. but I wouldn''t smoke it if not on antipsychotic and I know I would have more power to protect her not just relying on getting some sleep for the higher powers to dish out the karma, people felt terrible after raping her, and so they should.......the marijuana only sometimes lets me have visitation, makes me feel uncomfortable and so it should because it leads into a nightmare.

I directed all the stuff that was coming to ###$ with me like vampires etc to the psychiatrist, I showed them the place I have taken the worlds psychaitrists and they were happy to trouble her instead of me. which is good, hope she is feeling it, and is troubled and having a breakdown, thats what i hope anyway, she deserves it stupid ###$..