Narcissism has a cure

i will put it simple because im feeling nervous
narcissism is na imbalance in the solar plexus chakra caused by shame
carried shame that has some pretty simple causes
humilhation, feeling dominated
abuse, neglect, feeling of being inadequate
it is a Strong feeling that you or other person have something wrong

our experiences arises from intention (karma) ,we are often not conscious of the result of our actions as we should be
the principal cause of shame is the intent to make others feel shame
what is the one principal charcteristic of an narcissist? is to shame others to feel empowered even if unconsciously, but this can never work because of karma
by taking from others you take from ourselves

so to eliminate narcissism , isn't it as simple as working on your own intent, and to let go of past experiences of shame and the emotion itself
abuse (can be too subtle to identify, without the awareness that experiences of shame through abuse can be subtle you know? the best tip is that generally, where there is abuse there is desire, and the fuel that keeps the abuse in the intent of people is this desire, an abuse can be called an act of stupidity, because it is the ignorance of the one that abuses that keeps him in an act that prejudices everyone)
let go of shame from past experiences where yours emotional , social and privative needs where violated
and to be aware of the intent you had on the past, like when you must have done the same on others
and just let go of shame, by making the choice of picking the best decision even for the others you might have abused or violated
so you can correct your past actions with good will

Stop agreeing to the abuser in every point. The abused becomes the abuser and the abuser becomes the abused. This will go on and on and on.

i agree to some extent but its not that simple, and narcissistic personality disorder is different to narcissism

I think the OP is not suffering NPD.

rein800 wrote:what is the one principal charcteristic of an narcissist? is to shame others to feel empowered even if unconsciously, but this can never work because of karma

So far from the truth brotha. NPD is generally described as inability to show weakness, grandiose self-worth even when it is not earned, and the inability to draw happiness from within (we get feeders). Even those three are just part of what makes NPD, there is still much more to it. Clearly, you don't have NPD...

Bears7 wrote:

rein800 wrote:what is the one principal charcteristic of an narcissist? is to shame others to feel empowered even if unconsciously, but this can never work because of karma

So far from the truth brotha. NPD is generally described as inability to show weakness, grandiose self-worth even when it is not earned, and the inability to draw happiness from within (we get feeders).

From my perspective you said much the same thing the OP did. One way Ns hide weakness is by weakening others. (I.e., it's all relative. I'm stronger if others are weaker.). Shame is the most direct word for weakness. It is the opposite of pride. What better word describes false strength? (We project our shame to feel proud.).

I can also relate to the OP's reference to karma. I've been struck by what seems like eerie ironies. Many things which seem like karma. I even began to refer to it as "evil Zen." (It's been disturbing. That's why his mention stood out to me.). It seems like karma has the same features as "mirror."

I might not go as far as the OP in other areas (chakras?). But, I can see the tie-ins above.

Eh, you stretched what I saw there quite a bit. I said inability to show weakness is one of many key factors in determining narcissism. That does not translate to weakening others, which therefore goes to it being the ONE principal of narcissism. For examples, NPDs often let depression build up for an incredibly long period of time because they don't tell anyone about it, they can't show weakness. Same goes for bad test grades, getting fired from work, etc. (even though us narcissists are immune to such maladies), we will simply not reveal those things to other people. Only 25% of narcissists put down others as their primary source of not showing weakness.

Bears7 wrote:For examples, NPDs often let depression build up for an incredibly long period of time because they don't tell anyone about it, they can't show weakness.

I agree. However, hiding weakness to be perceived as strong is only one aspect of NPD life. What we project to our mirrors is weakness. That is what we require others to mirror back to us. Something that isn't the real us. We use those people as objects (mirrors) to repeat a lie back to us -- then hold it against them for what we see. This leads to push/pull antagonism and finally devalue & discard (to be hoovered later as needed, to revalue the supply we got from someone who bent over backwards to our lie-based needs).

All of that is designed to make the N feel stronger and the other person weaker by comparison. A failure who could never be what the N deserves. (We believe we deserve it because we're weak. We need it. We take it without consent, acting as something we're not. Leaving ourselves satiated at the expense of another. One stronger, the other weaker. One proud. The other shamed. All because we carry shame we can't reconcile ourselves to.).

I didn't see anything in the OP's post contradictory to NPD. What he thinks is the cure might be another matter.

[/quote]let go of shame from past experiences where yours emotional , social and privative needs where violated
and to be aware of the intent you had on the past, like when you must have done the same on others
and just let go of shame, by making the choice of picking the best decision even for the others you might have abused or violated
so you can correct your past actions with good will[/quote]


Hi Rein.... it's just not that easy.

The NPD pervades everything. In trying to deal with my disorder, I try to keep very busy. Lot's of projects in different disciplines so that my mind is kept busy. I can be sitting there trying to plan a wiring layout on a nice sunny day ... and thoughts will creep in: something that happened years before - "I was humiliated by someone....or I said something I shouldn't have". A whole range of thoughts and it happens more often than I would like. I appreciate your input because I am always looking for answers... but at my age, the NPD is very entrenched. It hurts on a daily basis.

Jacktar wrote:In trying to deal with my disorder, I try to keep very busy. Lot's of projects in different disciplines so that my mind is kept busy. I can be sitting there trying to plan a wiring layout on a nice sunny day ... and thoughts will creep in: something that happened years before - "I was humiliated by someone....or I said something I shouldn't have".

I can relate to that in a couple ways. Does staying (very) busy help you? I tend to use it as a distraction to avoid existing with myself. Like a compulsion to give myself supply, but not getting to the reason I need so much supply. I end up feeling like I'm trying to run from myself -- but myself keeps chasing after me. (That's when the inner narrative becomes extantiated on the edge of the false self, and I start getting the casting calls like you describe.).

I tend to agree with the OP about what has to be gotten rid of (reconciled to). But, I agree, it's not easy. It's an ongoing process. In my case, it would be a serious red-flag if I used projects and challenges to "occupy myself" as a coping strategy. That's what I did before I identified with cNPD. It was one way I tried to be who I could never be. No matter how occupied I was, nor how many accomplishments I could feel good about, I had to do more.

But, everyone's different. I hope that's not the case for you.