Narcissism has a cure

[/quote] I end up feeling like I'm trying to run from myself -- but myself keeps chasing after me.[quote]

Yes Truth... that is very much what it is like.

Being busy helps ... for a while. But a person can only get so busy and maintain that busyness for so long. It is a coping method not, unfortunately, a cure.

I would really love to reconcile with much of the past also... but when you have 3 adult children whom you want to have a normal relationship with but all they can associate/connect with you is your Narcissistic ways over all of their years growing up.... well, lets just say that there are constant reminders to drag you kicking and screaming back into the mire. Lot's of guilt... lot's of "If only I could go back there now with my awareness intact?" But 2 of my children are very unforgiving and a third is understanding but I have to tread around a minefield in my relations with him.

So yes, I try coping strategies, and I turn to this forum for help and clues and try to keep stress out of my life. I just keep trying. I know I am luckier than many others in several ways... so I actually feel guilty that I cannot just sort it all out and move on.

Thanks to the OP and repliers

Jacktar wrote:[I know I am luckier than many others in several ways... so I actually feel guilty that I cannot just sort it all out and move on.

Don't feel guilty. You're absolutely right. I remember how thankful I felt just knowing I'd found what was wrong. I recently told someone how I feel differently a year or two since facing myself. The best way I could describe it is:

I used to occasionally think "at least these demons will be gone when I die" (and then imagine what that would be like). I wasn't thinking suicide. Just a thought that "at least someday I'll know what it is like to not be this way." I didn't have this thought often. But, it crossed my mind enough (6-10 times?) that I remember it.

That's what it feels like now. I don't wonder what it will feel like. The demons are still there. But, they're not me.

You mentioned your children. I'm curious about something else:

It's commonly understood narcissistic parents create narcissists. It's called ACON (adult children of narcissists). Do you ever wonder how they are and if you could help them see it? Have you told them what you know about yourself?

That's interesting to me because I have often thought about what (if anything) someone could have said or done to reach me. I used to think about that a lot because, it was such a "wow" thing. I really struggled to think of what possibly could have got through to me.

I always knew something was wrong. But, I thought that awareness was what I had to overcompensate for -- to be what I should be. (You know what I'm talking about.) It's a circular reference. It's a lie I lived without realizing it. The mirror-image of the life I should have lived. (The "mirror" heuristic works a lot for me).

If you face that dilemma with children, that would be very interesting to know your thoughts. If they're not ready for prime-time, that's cool. But, I look forward to learning more.

I couldn't tell if it's anxiety you face between coping and your relationship with kids? If so, are you familiar with "mindfulness" and "tapping EFT?" Those seem to be used a lot by people here. I've done both a little. I should probably do it more. My ultimate tap is cannabis. Not sure if you may count yourself among the herbalists. Don't hesitate to start a thread and use it to just talk about what's going on with you. I did that.

one kind of narcissism
come from not managed intent of humilhating others
usually , this must come from an passive agressive intent of humilhating others
due to feelings of revenge to an past important figure that caused feelings of abuse
usually the mother
or an feeling of shame from their vulnerabilities, wich may have been the spot attacked by a manipulative person
wich makes them lose connection with their emotions
sometimes an disturbance of the solar plexus chakra is a low self-esteem issue for being treated poorly by an ambitive parent that prioritized their own power and possessions over the emotions of their children

but if you dont relate to this first post, narcissism is definely an disturbance of the solar plexus chakra
and you should search about it just to relate
but you wont really find an article being very close to the answer, what makes a person a narcissist ?if it is a fact that we can also become a narcissist, and the brain and the mind , just as the environment and body are only one

rein800 wrote:but if you dont relate to this first post, narcissism is definetly an disturbance of the solar plexus chakra

I think most westerners think of this as mumbo jumbo. I try to keep an open mind. Tapping (EFT) is based upon that. It could be the power of suggestion (which is known to work) and/or the chakras it taps.

Once upon a time I had a dog with something called "puppy acne." It's a staph infection but it wouldn't go away. Her immune system was whacked somehow and the vet thought she'd be on antibiotics the rest of her life. Someone on the internet told me some naturopathic things to do and it worked. She never had it again.

Maybe that was coincidence. Maybe she just needed a nutritional boost and some of the weirder things I gave her had no effect.

However, about a year later she had urinary incontinence believed to result from her being spayed. She would "wet the bed" when she slept. The vet thought she would be on synthetic hormones the rest of her life. Since I had such good results previously, I made an appointment with a holistic vet.

It didn't take long before I lost complete faith. He did some kind of "feedback" thing. He would push on vertebrate while pushing on his assistant's arm. She would say things as if she was experiencing something through him. I thought "I just wasted $50. I gotta go see a real vet." He did some acupuncture, gave a herbal B12 injection into her abdomen. Also a natural supplement (hormone) to give for 2 weeks.

I got home thinking that was a complete waste of time. But, she never "leaked" again. Not even slightly. And I never had to do any maintenance treatment again.

I still think this stuff is nuts. But, there seems to be some truth to it too. I wouldn't go so far as to define NPD (as a pathology, its origin, its treatment) in naturopathic/holistic terms. But, I can definitely see how eastern medicine/healing could explain some things, and could definitely help. I don't see how it could hurt unless it became excessive, an extreme, a religion. But, I'd urge people to keep an open mind.

(All roads lead to Rome. Some roads may work better for others.).

Truth too late wrote:I think most westerners think of this as mumbo jumbo.

that's why westerners have so many (personal)problems

dabading wrote:

Truth too late wrote:I think most westerners think of this as mumbo jumbo.

that's why westerners have so many (personal)problems

In fairness, we also have EEG brainwave scans, antibiotics and pacemakers because we didn't pursue naturopathy as a religion. If you're saying we need those things because we don't pursue it religiously, then I'd say that's an excessive viewpoint. I believe in "all things in moderation." (But, I could be wrong. I didn't even consider the mumbo jumbo having any merit.).

It's strange when you consider how just 30 years ago a doctor was fired from Harvard or Yale's medical school/hospital for teaching students that a patient's mental health contributes to their treatment. (He taught Transcendental meditation.). Now they have classes teaching acupressure, etc.

I'm sure there's more to it.

Truth too late wrote:

rein800 wrote:but if you dont relate to this first post, narcissism is definetly an disturbance of the solar plexus chakra

I think most westerners think of this as mumbo jumbo. I try to keep an open mind. Tapping (EFT) is based upon that. It could be the power of suggestion (which is known to work) and/or the chakras it taps.

From my experience chakras can be seen in visionary states like dhyana or hypnagogia and are imo a part of the autosymbolism function of the brain symbolizing certain areas of the mind.
To reduce some complex structural issue like a PD to chakra imbalance on the other hand side is absurdly reductionistic imo and probably an inversion of cause and effect.
EFT and acupuncture doesnt have much to do with it tho, there were studies that showed that tapping works even when you do it on a doll and if you dont accurately hit the points when doing it on your own body.

there is a cure!

there are diferent cases of narcissism

but if your narcissist parent, is receptive to new things
you can tell him the cure, it is self awareness meditation

there are lots of kinds of narcissism but i will put the cure for the one with most

first, let me put my learnings

desire and fear Always attract each other

if i was to put narcissism in a briefly explanation, i would say it is simple fear of being self aware

that can be caused by this desire thing, the person have the desire of running from his feelings, thoughts and own mind and that creates desire of being non self-aware

there are lots of kinds of narcissist, as you know, what i meant about this kinds is that some have the desire to run from feelings,mind and thought not because of heavy bagage, but escapism , delusion ,greedy

it makes sense right?

but the great thing is, every narcissist, who is not wanting to be cured, only suffers from ignorance on that point, because 1- there is a cure 2- narcissism is suffering, do we need insights on that? i think every sane person can find how it is suffering

cure is>> reflection on this desire-fear and self aware meditation

thanks and that cured me!

Marilyn Monroe, Phyllis Hyman, Alan Turin and Anna Kerenina all found the cure!

Sorry! I haven't taken my medication today!

memme23 wrote:it makes sense right?

Maybe. Being self-aware is mostly de-gassing, coming back to earth. It makes a huge difference. But, there's still a lot more to it (the propensity to grandiosity, projecting, passive aggression). It's a constant job. It's an improvement (not a cure).

How did you come into your knowledge on the subject? What have you seen?