Ways of Controlling Murderous Rage, Urges and Impules

KenWalker wrote:You could pick up crime fighting and kill bad guys.

Hmmm,...interesting. hehah.

Demon wrote:While it's all good and well to search for an alternative release as a means of controlling the urges (I've been searching for one myself, but the things that use to work don't satisfy the homicidal 'cravings' anymore), I think it is actually better to find the root cause of the problem and deal with that. That is why I'm going back into therapy. Although I don't see anything wrong with killing a few people who would be better off dead anyway, the law disagrees, so searching for a way to control the urges is good, but the satisfaction you may feel now won't last forever if your urges are strong. Sooner or later you're going to have find another alternative. The only other option, without resorting to murder, is to either accept the fact that you're always going to feel this way and just live with it or try to find the real reason why you're experiencing the urges and deal with that head on.

Ok, I see, but I already accepted that I am always going to feel and be this way. What else?

Strange Collage Guy wrote:Ok, I see, but I already accepted that I am always going to feel and be this way. What else?

Do you know why you get the urges? Is there a deeper reason than the one that is obvious on the surface?
If there is (and there usually is), you could look at that and see what is actually driving the urges and find a way to deal with it head on. I know what drives mine, but all that seems to do is justify them. Maybe the best thing to do is look for reasons not to kill and concentrate on them instead. That's what I'm finding difficult at the moment. I see no reason not to kill, aside from losing control and getting caught.

Demon wrote:

Strange Collage Guy wrote:Ok, I see, but I already accepted that I am always going to feel and be this way. What else?

Do you know why you get the urges? Is there a deeper reason than the one that is obvious on the surface?
If there is (and there usually is), you could look at that and see what is actually driving the urges and find a way to deal with it head on. I know what drives mine, but all that seems to do is justify them. Maybe the best thing to do is look for reasons not to kill and concentrate on them instead. That's what I'm finding difficult at the moment. I see no reason not to kill, aside from losing control and getting caught.

I understand, I will try to concentrate on the reasons not to kill, and maybe then I can have more control.

katana wrote:my anger problems are triggered by feeling like people or society is trying to control me. (controlling parent ) lol

A year or so ago, my therapist and I came to the conclusion that my violent urges were triggered when other people made me feel helpless and that the best solution was to sever ties with everyone in my life who did this. Of course I can't completely cut myself off from everyone who does it, but what's been done so far seems to be improving my relationships with them as well as restoring my independence and decreasing the urges.

The last thread about murderous urges was locked, so...

Mr. No One wrote:Oh, I like all sorts of things. I like a good cup of tea. I like the feel of a nice hand gun. I like a hot, humid day. I like walking around aimlessly at night hoping someone jumps me—

Don't know if it'll be night in your time zone when you read this, but meh.

Mr. No One wrote:I like looking at pictures of beautiful women and places. I like driving drunk. I like tormenting my boss. I like chocolate cake. I like fishing. I like grilling out. I like a nice fire to look at. I like slapping people in the face. I like pop corn with hot sauce. I like roller coasters. I like starting a riot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ect-kgxBb4M

Well, we have three or four things in common, at least. Which one isn't like the others, and how? You're not implying that while starting a riot is antisocial, slapping people in the face and (intentionally) driving drunk are not...are you?

Mr. No One wrote:I think this is one of the few fears we collectively have as "antisocials." We fear we will lose ourselves if we change ourselves. Maybe you have said to yourself that you can't change cuz then you would lose your edge. Or maybe having to fight your urges make you feel weak because in our mind, you feel weak if you give into any conformity to society....Nobody will control me in any form or fashion, not even my so-called antisocial personality disorder. If I really am a rebel without a cause well then I will rebel against myself to.

What do you think now? Are the weak people the ones who give in to their urges, or the ones who fight and overcome them?

Mr. No One wrote:I will lose my identity. I will lose myself. I will become mortal.

[geek!]I once played an RPG in which a character became mortal by finding himself and developing a unique identity. I thought of it as something like the contrapositive of the mystical belief that union with God is the sacrifice of one's individuality.[/geek!] Anyway, people change as they mature. Are you the same person you were ten years ago? Twenty years ago? Personal change should build character, not diminish it. If a person of little compassion becomes more compassionate, has he lost a part of his identity, or has he expanded on a part of his identity—namely, that attribute of his character which we call compassion?

More to the point, controlling your antisocial behavior won't destroy your identity. You've already given us an amusing list of your harmless personal quirks...which reminds me: we need a popcorn-with-hot-sauce emoticon.

fiveintime wrote:

Twinkling_Butterfly wrote:This seems strange to me because in the past, when I've had murderous urges, fantasizing about them has always helped to ease my mind and let me move on. Does it have the opposite effect for you?

Try to imagine you're a little kid and Christmas is approaching. You have the most exciting gift under the tree you could image, and you can't wait to open it. You either A) do something entertaining that takes your mind off this potential excitement, or B) fantasise about it day and night. Which of those do you think would increase the desire?

I get it. My violent impulses are from anger, whereas yours are from lust, so it's not the same. Have you tried tantric exercises?

I know this isn't quite on topic, but since never got to reply on the original thread...

fiveintime wrote:

Twinkling_Butterfly wrote:Is my ethics convincing you that selfishness is the right way?

Selfish is the only way. Not to get all philosophical, but how do we even know anybody else exists? We view everything from our own perspective. We're inherently selfish. I'm just aware of it.

You take "moral solipsism" to a deeper level. Let me rephrase the question. Is my approach to morality reassuring you that exploiting and harming others is better than not?

Twinkling_Butterfly wrote:my violent urges

YOU, of all, had violent urges????

post439134.html?hilit=violent#p439134
post449304.html?hilit=murder*#p449304

To the op: Because your murderous rage, urges and impulses don't stem from anything in your environment, I don't think any of the suggestions given, although very good, will help you. In posters' attempts to relate to your 'problem', they've unwittingly attributed their murderous rage, urges and impulses to something or someone in their environment. Someone did something to them or something happened to them which set them off and they reacted accordingly, whether they over did it or not. In short, they had a reason.

Yours just seems to come out of no where. You could be sitting at your computer quietly typing away on psychforums and without any change in your environment, online or around you, you become enraged, hot, angry, agitated, ready to just do something, throw your laptop down, smash the screen, punch a hole in your wall, etc, etc...am I right? There is no target to your rage, nothing incited it - it's diffuse. It's just like a wave that came over you and you are victim to its inescapable influence until it passes. You're relieved but confused when it does - "Where the hell did that come from? Why? ###$..." - but you know it will return again, unexpectedly and without cause.

I don't know if you want a label or not, but this ^ is a hallmark of BPD, especially impulsive subtype. Have you looked into Borderline Personality Disorder at all?

P.S - Oh, also, my suggestion is don't try and 'release' it. Just go somewhere calm and let it pass. 'Release' in this context only applies when you have a reason, which you don't. It's actually a form of displacement; someone or something pisses you off and you go break a kid's skateboard because you can't direct your angry toward the real source or cause. This feeling is with you for a time whether you like it or not and it's not going away no matter what you do, so you can isolate yourself and let it pass without creating problems for yourself by doing something you'll regret, or you can do something productive like work out, which is what I do. If I'm away from home, then I'll excuse myself from whatever I'm doing with whomever and go to the bathroom or say I need to get something from my car, etc, etc. It's just important you evacuate the social situation if you're in one and the wave hits you, or you'll have some explaining to do.

Twinkling_Butterfly wrote:my violent urges

Are you single?

Twinkling_Butterfly wrote:My violent impulses are from anger, whereas yours are from lust, so it's not the same. Have you tried tantric exercises?

My doctor thinks my violent urges are from anger too. Repressed anger, that I can't feel, and don't know exists. The "lust" isn't purely sexual. Lust for power, excitement, and domination. Taking her sexuality and her humanity. Becoming a god and reducing a person to nothingness.

Twinkling_Butterfly wrote:You take "moral solipsism" to a deeper level. Let me rephrase the question. Is my approach to morality reassuring you that exploiting and harming others is better than not?

By arguing with you, I find that I'm buttressing my own views, theories, and morality. Maybe you need to be more of a bully, Twinkles. If we come out the other end, and I've convinced you that hurting people is the right way, then I might need to start worrying about my potential to accidentally lead a cult.

The psychopath's strategy is superior in light of who they are as emotionally crippled humans. Normal humans feel good after helping other people. Psychopaths don't. Psychopaths don't feel anything, whether they do 'good' for another human or 'bad'. Thus, the normal human is motivated by reward to do 'good' and avoid doing 'bad'.

The psychopath is not, and must attain his or her reward another way - make up for the deficit in emotional reward, if you will. This reward may take the form of power or acquiring material possessions. Without a conscience, the psychopath in some respects can excel in the attainment of these kinds of rewards relative to the normal who while having access to socio-emotional rewards, can not as effectively obtain the other kinds of rewards. Of course, the psychopath will never be happy because happiness is emotional.

Does that sound about right? (With regard to the "who wins argument: psychos or normals?")

Yeah. That sounds exactly right.