One love

Chucky wrote:

Astra wrote:what are your thoughts? One love in life? Many? And what makes that one so great?

One love in life? - I tend to think not. I believe that a person can love a few people at the same time, and many at different times in their life. I have an odd view on what 'love' is. I don't generally like to define any one emotion - How can we with simple language? For me, love is an attachment to a person and the time you spend with that person are happy times. I don't think there is any particular emotion called 'love'.


Like, in my view I have loved all three of my ex-girlfriends and because it was only two months since we broke up, I still love my last girlfriend. I also love my friends and my family in the same way, minus the intimacy.

Ahhh, now Chuck. I've been meaning to comment on this 'controversial' post, but just needed time to digest it properly.

I agree that there is more than one love in everyone's life. In fact, I have trouble finding anyone who I DON'T love, (though there's various levels of 'intimacy').

However, I have an intense feeling that there is only one SOULMATE for each person. (Or if that one dies, there's possibly another.) Or even that there are a handful, but we'll probably only meet one (Or if we're not ready for true love at the time, we might come across another.)

Hmmm...I think the main point I wanted to get across was to agree with you when you said 'How can we (define emotions) with simple language'. This is so true. A pastor told me not long ago that there are five or more different words for our one 'love' in the Latin (I think it was) language. But over time, and through the translation process, they've all been combined. I think this is why it's so hard not to become confused.

But I do believe there is someone (or two or three?) out there that is a perfect partner for everyone, whom until we meet them, it is unfair of us to criticise the notion of true love.

When we meet this person, we will understand. And words (especially our simple language) won't be enough to describe it.

I refuse to let anyone burst my idealistic bubble!

Sorry to burst a little bubble, but there aren't too many words for love in Latin. (I'm in 2nd year Latin). The only one I know is amare, to love. There are others like, to care, or to desire, but not love. It's more like, there is one word in Latin and multiple meanings in English. Trust me, the vocab is a bitch.

Oops...sorry guys. I trust you immensely, Azzie. I'm quite in awe of you to learn all that. (And envious! Languages are cool!)

I'm not too good when it comes to languages; that's why I said 'I think'; is there a Greek Latin? I think that's what he said, but it sounds funny to me. I think it was some old biblical language maybe? Who knows? I was more interested in the concept.

Whatever the case, there still need to be more words in our language to describe love, as it's kind of ambiguous.

And don't worry Azzie, it's gonna take a big prick (pardon the pun!) to burst my little soul mate fantasy bubble! Even then...I like to shoot for the moon...at least if I miss, I'll land somewhere amongst the stars! OXOXO.

UnfocussedLight wrote:A pastor told me not long ago that there are five or more different words for our one 'love' in the Latin (I think it was) language.

Actually, you're both right. There are several words used in the Bible for "love" but they're Greek. The two I remember are:
1. "agape" (ah-gah-pay) meaning selfless, spiritual, and the highest form of love.
2. "phileo" (fil-ay-oh) meaning brotherly, friendly love.
They are best known for their use in John 21:15-17 since the verse makes no sense without that distinction between types of love.

The word "eros" is another Greek word for love that refers to attraction and sexual love.

Wow! Thankyou, Chickadee. I was starting to doubt the pastor, but I asked my folks, and they mentioned the three you've just described. Maybe there are only three? But it's good to have someone else to show I'm not a complete loony! Ta!

Anyway, I like the fact that there are variations. In English, the phrase 'I love you' is so overrated. Some people will say it after just meeting someone, whereas others freak out if you say it too soon.

I like to compare it to colours. If you look around, even just in nature, you'll find so many variations of say, the colour green. But most people only refer to them as dark green and light green. Except for derwent pencils; they're cool, they have about 10-15 variations and names for each colour!

Sorry, off the track a bit there. Back to Azzie's original question, of whether we all have one love in life or many; I think we can safely say she meant the intimate, very friendly, deeply emotional feelings you have for a partner. Not like family, or friends, but that extra little something.

Even then, though, I believe we may think we are with someone who is our 'soulmate', but over time we realise they're not everything we want in a partner, and move on. And with each partner, you seem to go up a level.

I was talking with a guy once (he was a bit of a tripper, but still pretty interesting) who believed that humans weren't meant to love someone " 'til death we do part". He thinks we're s'posed to keep moving on, and love many people intimately. He hated the idea of marriage.

But when it comes down to it.....does it really matter? If we really like someone, and they feel the same way, then it's logical to spend time with them. And if things don't work out, end the relationship. And if things are magical until the day you die.....then that is your answer right there.

Peace and LOVE to all!

I'm glad that people here are so positive about the idea of 'love.' There are SO many others that believe you only have one great relationship, and that's it for you. And it usually ends, and you never get over it. I think that's just depressing.

UnfocessedLight your friend who hates marriage was touching on something important there. In different animal species the males copulate with numerous females in their lives - Impregnating them as they do. It's to improve numbers in the species and give more chance for Natural Selection to be successful. Each species out there is competing against the other. Homo sapiens appear to be in the lead of this never-ending race so far. Anyway, men cannot be going around impregnating every lady they see! Conditions in our society (Money, mainly) wouldn't allow this to work.


However, unlike your friend I have nothing against marriage. I don't think this thing called 'true love' exists at all either. I'm still going on the theory that it is just an attachment to a person. Nor would I believe in a 'perfect partner' at all. When you marry someone you just know them well. You've built your life around them. If they parted with you your life would have to change. You see it everywhere - If a couple in a marriage don't spend time together the 'love' might fade. Then if they divorced the pain would not be as bad to handle.

UnfocussedLight wrote:But when it comes down to it.....does it really matter? If we really like someone, and they feel the same way, then it's logical to spend time with them. And if things don't work out, end the relationship. And if things are magical until the day you die.....then that is your answer right there.

this all sounds so simple, and it might be...but i don't know, i feel things are a lot more complicated than this. i mean, i've been in a relationship long enough where we are talking about getting married. once you realize it's about building a life together...it's overwhelming. there is a lot on the line....if things don't work out it won't be that easy to say "o.k. let's just end it"....i guess i'm just a little nervous.

Nervous about commitment to one person?

chucky, what's the longest you have been in a relationship?

this is the first time it's been going on for such a long time. we got together when i was 22, still fairly young and naive. i have learned a lot in the meantime about being in a relationship, a very happy one.

after being together for 5 years i don't think commitment is the issue.
i do admit that i feel sexual curiosity about other men but it's just fantasy...is it bad that now and then i feel like that? we have spent a lot of time apart being in a long distance relationship, so technically i was "unsupervised" but i have never acted on my fantasies.

since he lives in a different country we have no other choice to get married or never see each other again. this kind of drastic situation makes me feel a bit trapped. of course i care deeply for him and i can't stand the thought of not being there for him in the future. but it really is one thing to care for somebody than to build up an existence with them. that's what i meant by it's not all that simple. for instance you can love and care for each other deeply but your aspirations, your goals in life might be off which makes planning for the future challenging. we do have a lot of things in common but if i feel that we are off with certain things then i tend to panic and see it as a bad sign. i'm german after all....i like making plans and having things in perfect order.