Our partner

Mimicking (absorbing other's personality)?

Open Discussions about Relationship Issues.

Mimicking (absorbing other's personality)?

Postby t2011 » Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:08 am

I'm curious if this behavior is a known symptom of a personality disorder (or trait)?

Basically, I've known two people at different times in my life who seemed to have very shallow, almost pretend personalities. I never felt like I was truly seeing the real them.

Both people seemed to be *sponges* of my personality. I had an uncomfortable sense of "deja vu," where I heard them espouse a belief, feeling, position back to me days/weeks later. It seemed uncomfortable because they wouldn't preface it as, "you know, you said (blah), and I see what you mean because now I..." It would just be like suddenly they were me. Like I'd never said it, and suddenly they had this view (or whatever) on their own.

Maybe it's me, making too much out of something. But, it seemed "off" because these people didn't seem to have genuine personalities. Something felt parasitic about it. Like, they were defining themself by me. But, not in a flattering way. In a creepy way (like they didn't realize they were doing it, or I wasn't supposed to realize it).

I've wondered about that a few times. Found this forum because I was interested in another topic. Thought, "hey, I think I'll ask about that thing which always seemed odd."

Is that a known behavioral symptom for anything? Or, just me being hypersensitive to a gut instinct?

Thanks!
t2011
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 143
Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2011 1:54 am
Local time: Wed Jul 30, 2025 2:02 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Mimicking (absorbing other's personality)?

Postby pheonixrise » Fri Jun 17, 2011 8:41 am

I used to model my behaviour on other people, even as a teenager, because I had no idea what was normal in society, only that I wasn't. For me, I was just hoping to get by without people noticing that I was not like them. But it's not part of anything I've been diagnosed with, I think for me it was just another coping method.

Don't know if these two people were the same, or if there was something else going on for them though.
pheonixrise
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 669
Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:04 am
Local time: Wed Jul 30, 2025 6:32 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Mimicking (absorbing other's personality)?

Postby housemouse » Fri Jun 17, 2011 9:33 am

Maybe they just look up to you so decided to copy you?

Have some fun, make something silly so they're saying cuckoo in Mexican or photocopier in Swedish. See if you can get them to copy it. You can either tell them what they've done so they try and stop being mimics (and probably fail) or just keep it to yourself for giggles.
housemouse
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 19
Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2011 8:39 pm
Local time: Wed Jul 30, 2025 9:02 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Mimicking (absorbing other's personality)?

Postby scarocean » Mon Apr 15, 2013 5:59 am

Sociopath. They unwittingly mimic others and sometimes give a sense of unease or discomfort... but due to the fact the mimic you or agree with everything ya say they typically come off as very caring or likeable characters... they also seem to drain people as well... I know it sounds odd but a true full blown sociopath will drain you mentally...
scarocean
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Apr 15, 2013 5:50 am
Local time: Wed Jul 30, 2025 9:02 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Mimicking (absorbing other's personality)?

Postby exquisitecorpse » Mon Apr 15, 2013 10:27 am

All people mimic others unconsciously, it's a part of normal interaction. Also, we especially tend to mimic people that we like or want to impress. It could be very innocent. A younger person who is eager to fit in would do this, or someone that does not have a stable sense of self.

As far as this being a trait of a personality disorder, it is, and all of the cluster b's do this. Mimic/mirroring.
exquisitecorpse
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 343
Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2012 12:52 am
Local time: Wed Jul 30, 2025 1:02 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Mimicking (absorbing other's personality)?

Postby masquerade » Mon Apr 15, 2013 2:50 pm

I used to do this before therapy because I had a very poor sense of identity. As I learnt to discover who I was and developed a stable sense of self, I then began to notice that one friend in particular mimics me - the little sayings I have, manerisms, clothing etc and it's rather irritating. She has passed off some of my ideas as her own too.

It can be a common symptom of a Cluster B disorder, when the person lacks a stable self image.
http://youtu.be/myyITD5LWo4

http://youtu.be/IaBLhoWTkMI

forum-rules.php
No lap top atm so may be delayed in replying to you. If urgent please approach another moderator
masquerade
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 10460
Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2010 1:48 pm
Local time: Wed Jul 30, 2025 9:02 am
Blog: View Blog (9)

Re: Mimicking (absorbing other's personality)?

Postby aliveatnight » Tue Apr 16, 2013 3:32 am

Guilty of doing that. As others said, cluster B personalities tend to do due to unstable self image (for me, that's BPD).

Yes, it's unconscious and it helped me be able to feel like I belong with someone, because I don't have a clue who i am. However, I can see why that would be frustrating to be on the receiving end of.
aliveatnight
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1371
Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2012 10:01 pm
Local time: Wed Jul 30, 2025 4:02 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Mimicking (absorbing other's personality)?

Postby pattyboo » Sat Oct 26, 2013 12:43 pm

I have a work colleague who suddenly about a year ago started mirroring me/my behaviour.
First of all it was subtle...things I say over the phone. I noticed that she would repeat everything I said word for word (how does she remember all this?). Over time this become quite obsessive with her finishing my sentences, mirroring by physical actions...adopting new words she thought sounded cool....she even started sounding and talking like me and has continued to get worse from there.
Something is not quite right.

Has anyone had a similar experience and can advise how to deal with her?
pattyboo
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Oct 26, 2013 12:15 pm
Local time: Wed Jul 30, 2025 9:02 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Mimicking (absorbing other's personality)?

Postby masquerade » Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:10 am

Perhaps it might stop her directly in her tracks if you actually called her up on it, saying something like "I've noticed that you're copying certain things that I do and say, and I wondered why you do this?"
http://youtu.be/myyITD5LWo4

http://youtu.be/IaBLhoWTkMI

forum-rules.php
No lap top atm so may be delayed in replying to you. If urgent please approach another moderator
masquerade
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 10460
Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2010 1:48 pm
Local time: Wed Jul 30, 2025 9:02 am
Blog: View Blog (9)

Re: Mimicking (absorbing other's personality)?

Postby katana » Mon Oct 28, 2013 2:20 am

Is that a known behavioral symptom for anything? Or, just me being hypersensitive to a gut instinct?


It could be a bit of both.

First the normal side to things. If a person fancies another person, its likely they'll try to find ways to get chatting etc. (Think of the lad on the broadband advert.)

If they fall in love with that person people tend to take on aspects of their partner because its all part of what happens with that particular kind of madness, lol.

The other side of things - If people lack either a stable sense of self or lack some normal components of "adult personality" that can mean they can tend to mirror people.
Basically, I've known two people at different times in my life who seemed to have very shallow, almost pretend personalities. I never felt like I was truly seeing the real them.


I can't speak for everyone but I know people could see me that way. I'm not a pretend person underneath in any way, but while for most people their "surface selves" - the mannerisms, ways of speaking, external preferences and socialized environment they get from their parents literally become part of them, for me its more like a language that I speak, and I can learn to speak other languages too. Sometimes I like those other languages more, but nothing really "sticks" as a genuine part of me. What there is of me on the inside is solid. What there is on the outside is flexible.

Ironically I think sometimes its the opposite way round people see things. They can see people as having nothing on the inside when in reality the truth is much closer to having nothing on the outside, i.e. no emotionally internalized mode of interacting, not making external stuff which you just grow up around or become used to internal. Its not about having no feelings about anything at all, though there are areas where a person may have no specific feelings about anything.

In that sense, some of those things can be less "who you are" and more like putting on a T-Shirt in the morning. I can have preferances about some things, but its a lot more like deciding whether I want to paint my lounge red or green - those things are still my choices, not literally me.

imagine you're dropped down in a world where everyone has absolutely fixed and integrated emotional values about circles.

There are hundreds of different feelings you can have about circles, and everyone has them. If you don't, you're going to stick out like a sore thumb, and not in a good way.

You're expected to express those values because they're supposed to be an important part of how you feel about yourself and how you relate to others.

You're not seen as a complete person unless you express your strongest feelings about circles - people who don't are seen as immature, vacuous or empty shells.

- So you learn to make sure people don't notice you don't feel strongly about circles. To do this, you have to learn from how other people talk about circles. This involves mimicry.

I don't copy people's ideas or their clothing, or anything like that. I don't tend to take on ideas (whether from other people or random external sources) without understanding them to the point where they fit into a bigger picture of some sort in a way which makes sense to me and I don't try to pass off other people's ideas as my own in any kind of personal context.

I'm creative and perfectly capable of coming up with my own ideas - if I happen to share tastes with another person, that really is all it is. If I appear to "mirror" them past what's reasonably covered here, its worth assuming I fancy them.
I once remember someone trying to suggest I'd copied their taste in music - imo that was pretty egocentric of them, lol. Most people would say "cool, you like some of the same music as me!" :lol:

I also understand when you say shallow, almost pretend personalities, you mean what you see on the surface doesn't seem to go any deeper rather than "that they are a shallow person". I could see people seeing me that way in some respects, - someone once mistakenly asked here on these forums "if you didn't have strong emotions would you be shallow" but I don't think I do have particularly strong emotions and I don't see myself as a shallow person at all, though to me what makes me not shallow isn't mainly how I feel about details, interactions etc, its what I think, but also that there is a level of feeling about life and experiences in general attached to that on some level.
katana
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 9013
Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:05 pm
Local time: Wed Jul 30, 2025 9:02 am
Blog: View Blog (2)

Next

Return to Relationship Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 18 guests