my friend insults me for being a pedophile please help

One of my friends, a very close friend actually, is starting to "joke" too much about my paraphilia he's not supposed to know about.
First off, I never openly told him nor anyone else that I am a "pedophile" (more a hebephile though - age 11-15 but my "favorite" is 12-13, although I could even take glances at younger girls like 9-10 if I find them particularly attractive, why not?). It all started when I confessed to my closest friends that I like a girl very much, both physically and emotionally, that I'm totally crazy about her, and well they all know her, and she's 12 so when I told them her name they already knew her age.

My two best female friends reacted normal, only one of them at first laughed and said "she's so young, she turned 12 like 3 months ago, but that she already hit puberty so there is nothing bad about it" but then she told me that she knows I'm a good, well-educated and respectful person and would never hurt her or anything and that as long as I don't molest her (something I would NEVER EVER do, for God's sake!!! I'm totally against abuse!!!), it's fine (I am 20 years old by the way, sorry for not clarifying that before) and that she's fine with the idea. The other said there's nothing wrong. I was actually very surprised they reacted like that.
But when I told my best male friend, he was in shock. He said "No, this can't be true, please tell me it's not true, no no no!".

Now...I even think I am falling in love with this girl, since my heart skips a beat everytime I see her. But this doesn't prevent me from looking at other young girls when I go out with my friends.
Those glances I throw at 11-12 year old girls I find attractive, those intentional glances, those smiles I make when they look back at me, that "feeling" of fantasizing about them fantasizing about me (sorry for the pun), that feeling of thinking they could like me and tell their friends about it and start teasing each other, the feeling of going down to the beach with them and kissing, hiding from everyone...that sense of forbidden attraction makes my adrenaline rush. Yes, I do LOVE little girls, and my friend is probably starting to figure this out and becoming suspicious...now this makes me feel uncomfortable! What if he catches me looking at a 10/11/12/13 year old that way? What will I say to him then?

Today, while texting in a whatsapp group, he kept calling me pedophile and pervert. My other friend told me that he was just joking, but there's nothing to joke about, they don't know about my condition.
He kept repeating that same word over and over again, at the end of every sentence referred to me, the same damn word over and over: pedophile ....how am I supposed to react? What if he's not just kidding but he's actually insulting me for real? What if he will talk to someone about it? What if he finds out I actually drool over little girls?

I'm a non-exclusive pedophile/hebephile but I'm starting to discover that I actually prefer young girls. I prefer young girls physically (their not-so-developed body turns me on like crazy) and I prefer them emotionally (I find it easier to talk to them and make friends with them) and I love being the adult of the situation.

This girl I particularly like and maybe even love, is driving me totally crazy. But my friend is getting in my way. I mean, the girl barely knows me, she just knows I'm a friend of a friend, so there's nothing between us yet, not even friendship, but my friend said to my other friend "we need to stop him from going after her, she's way too young, we can't support his attraction". I'm fine with myself, and I'll keep liking young girls forever since you all know it's a part of us, it's sexuality, it's MY sexuality, when I'll be 30 and 35 and 40 and forever, I will keep looking at 11-12-13-14-15 year old girls cause it's just me. But then I'm not telling this to my friends.

How should I react to his words? Is he just being childish about it and joking around? Is he actually trying to insult me? Is he a danger for my reputation? (he could be, since he openly called me "pedophile" in a whatsapp group where another person I barely know was chatting with us). How should I handle the situation?

Please help....and sorry for the post length!

Um...someone who constantly does that isn't a very good friend and you should watch yourself around them. That's just as bad as someone constantly referring to a gay friend as "#######1". Personally, I wouldn't put up with it. If they can't accept you for who are you are, then they need to go. Simple as that. What you need to do is nut up and stand up to this friend as a man. Let him know that his behavior is NOT cool and that you won't be disrespected that way. PERIOD.

Overall, I think people in this forum SERIOUSLY need to think much harder about who they are opening up to. Because it's not like being gay. It's still socially acceptable to hate us (I speak as a pedophile - but the same for be said for necrophiles or anything else society looks down on). If you tell the wrong person and they blab it around it could wreck your life. Generally the number of people a person can REALLY trust can be counted on one hand.

Think. And then think again. Especially when so much is a stake.

P.S. Your friends are right. There's really nothing THAT wrong with your attraction. At various points in time you could have this specimen as a wife if you were so inclined. 18 is just an arbitrary number chosen by the government. Never mind the fact that plenty of young teens/teens are already being intimate with EACH OTHER. *eye roll*

I could try to go and speak to him about the way he calls me, but it's hard to do it as he's very immature despite being 20 like me, but tonight I was thinking: if I get all agitated and mad when someone says this word, wouldn't my behavior be seen as "suspicious"? Like, he and other friends may think "why is he getting so mad if he says it isn't true?".
I do agree that it's dangerous to open up to people, but as I said I never told anyone that, for example, I intentionally seek and flirt with young girls....never told them that word "pedophile", never told that I prefer a 12 year old over a "hot, sexy" adult woman, cause I feel primarily attracted to kids. And I won't tell anyone, unless I'm sure they are pedophiles/hebephiles too. So the image of me seen by others is "a well educated, respected and clever guy who just happens to like a 12 year old".
I agree that we should not trust too many people unless they are 100% open minded or they're like us. Period. Society hates us, it's a sad reality.

This is really your fault for not being careful. If word gets out, then you have to be very cautious with what you say and do. You should either talk to him about it, or ignore him. If he doesn't stop, then I wouldn't consider him a friend. Aldo, I get you have feelings for this girl, but for your sake, nothing can happen. People now know about your attractions. If you make a move on her, then prepare for the consequences.

Good luck.

Speak to him privately. You need to tell him how you feel though. Don't just allow such disrespect.

Be a man.

(and i agree with vamp. Please dont do anything with the girl)

xoPinkerbelleox wrote:Speak to him privately. You need to tell him how you feel though. Don't just allow such disrespect.

Be a man.

(and i agree with vamp. Please dont do anything with the girl)

I will when I'll get the chance.

And no, I don't do anything with the girl. She doesn't even give me a kiss on the cheek or a hug when she says hi to me (but she does this with others but they are girls)...maybe she feels uncomfortable around me? She senses my way of looking at her? Or maybe she's just shy cause of me being a guy?

Im not sure it matters. You're better off anyway.

I'm so sorry you're being insulted this way. It must be painful. I'm a pedophile, and although I prefer young boys, I like girls too. I'm female and 15, just so you know. If things ever get hard and you'd like to talk about it to me, just let me know if it would comfort/help you. PM me about it for contact info, kay? Even though I don't really know you, I'm willing to listen and to get to know you. I understand; sometimes that's enough, even though it doesn't seem like it, right? <:) Remember, feel free to PM me; I know how difficult feeling alone is with such conditions.

Take responsibility for your self.

If you tell anybody you have pedo tendencies, even if it is your best friend, it's the same as telling everyone.
Most people don't keep something like that under their hat.

Usually when someone realizes they have a friend who is pedo, it makes them feel cool that they know a pedo, so they want to tell everybody.

Whenever pedophilia is mentioned on the news or tv show, immediately everyone is going to think of you now. Because you are the only pedo they know, so they think of you.

I'll tell you something else,
anyone who says a 12 yr. old girl isn't attractive, is a dangerous liar who has no respect for the human life-cycle.

Tabs wrote:Usually when someone realizes they have a friend who is pedo, it makes them feel cool that they know a pedo, so they want to tell everybody.

That's true.

anyone who says a 12 yr. old girl isn't attractive, is a dangerous liar

Good insight.