What does she have ?

blah blah blah, yawn

Aww, dose this mean we cant be the bestest of friends?.

Those i've helped know who they are, those i trust and confide in know who they are.

Your just NoInsight....you have no place at my table and on your best day havent the capacity to understand who i am, i believe it would split the confines of your ######6 skull to be frank. So your analogy's are weak and ignorant.

I'm argumentative without a doubt, i'm also not the friendliest of chaps. I'm selective with who i help and its genuine. Everything else to me is more or less amusment as i pass time. I've never denied that. I've read your posts.....if you've read mine you should already know you arent capable of offending me....i simply dont care enough. Yet i'm all but positive you do, otherwise you wouldnt have botherd with your initial post. HPD...lol.

These comments i could probably predict who they came from and trust me these dipshits shouldnt be passing judgment as the rest are laughing behind there backs, a couple mods and a few other.

But i'm hurt, because i so do care what you think .

Blah, blah (don't want to upset any delicate sensibilities)

Yawn.

Great job ignoring me.

So contridicting yourself is your bag eh.

Sweets, you couldnt ignore me if you tried.

Have yourself a good night.

Can't we all just get along? Cluster Bs of the world, UNITE!

JaimeJ23, I don't think that a woman who puts her husband(s) through a wringer quite that barbed is normal, no. I don't know what that makes her (maybe even just paranoid or delusional), but normal women, EVEN after being cheated on and publicly humiliated choose to get revenge in other, saner ways. They get a great lawyer to wreak havoc on their ex's bank account and belongings. They try to get sole custody (WITHOUT brainwashing and damaging their own children permanently). They get liposuction, plastic boobs, and start dating younger men. Some don't even attempt to get revenge because they either realize that they don't love their ex either, or they are too depressed and hurt to attempt it.

Personally, I think the description of that woman makes her seem more like she had BPD. Her revenge isn't just going around with some new hottie... it was destroying her ex's lives.. permanently. From what I understand, this is a BPD trait. But really, does it matter? She's messed up, vindictive, and/or delusional. I think it goes WAAAAY beyond whiney.

I get what you mean with histrionic thing, but wait until you scorn a narcissist. Like histrionics they will do everything in their power to destroy you, however unlike histrionics they are not utterly helpless. Narcissists will go to the ends of the earth, whereas histrionics will likely only use the power already at their disposal.

I'll have to disagree with you on the idea that most women aren't vindictive or spiteful (especially when dumped). Some more than others, definitely, but nearly invariably they have an axe to grind.

Actually, she wasn't just an HPD she also had the BPD to add some depth to her issues. She did go all out, I won't go into it, but she made dang sure I had no one to go to for help, she wanted me isolated and she wanted me to eat a bullet. I just found out recently she is still out there doing her thing(trying to ruin me) 4 years later! Short of hiring a hit man to torture me to death, I can't think of anything a narcissist would have been able to add.

I know what you mean about the helpless trait though.

As far as the scorned women go, I am going to have to hold my ground. I definitely agree that more and more react the way you describe(our society encourages it), but I know of some that really chose the road of forgiveness so they don't let bitterness eat them up.

She's a HPD that's acting out I think

"Can't we all just get along? Cluster Bs of the world, UNITE! Laughing "

I am having trouble deciding on what to do.. The day I decided to be very angry, I had dreams which revealed that I still love her and missed her and am probably supressing it. I also found(again through dreams) that I am very lonely and am again supressing my sadness and loneliness. My counsellor agrees with my statements.... I am trying not to supress..

My mother in law called and said that my wife was crying since I have refused to talk to her, so could I talk to her ? I am not sure whether to believe this. This is a woman(my wife) who has a long history and habit of manipulating people. Would crying, to make me talk be very difficult for her to do. Also, possibly she could be deprived of romantic company since she is now under the watchful eyes of her parents- so back to the fool who might have her and who put up with her (?) Even at my most optimistic, I have difficulty in believing that 2.5 months of therapy( 2 hrs 3 times a week) would be sufficient to make a person change this fundamentally.What do you feel ?

I again had a chat with her counsellor and she copped out of defining it saying " I dont believe in classifying stuff and I dont read any journals- I just believe in dealing with what is there in front of me.":x I was trying to push her to really defining what she had so I could atleast find out the prognosis..

Now her(her counsellor's) proposal is that we meet on weekends and talk.. I am not at all sure I want to do this. For one , I am scared of my wife. I cannot play chess with people I love. Work and business is something else- but even there I prefer to deal straight. I am scared of being manipulated and of being hurt, exploited and punished for being loving, gentle and caring. I have a lot to give to the world and I cannot do it if I am sucked dry and squashed like a fly.

I am confused and pulled in different directions by my fear, my love and other emotions. I am frankly still dealing with this by avoiding it to some extent or by diverting my mind. What should I do ? I am not sure how I can deal with this.

"My mother in law called and said that my wife was crying since I have refused to talk to her, so could I talk to her ? I am not sure whether to believe this. This is a woman(my wife) who has a long history and habit of manipulating people. Would crying, to make me talk be very difficult for her to do."

Not at all.

HPD's love to cry and its usually used for manipulation.

To handle manipulative crying Al Bernstein author of Emotional Vampires says to use an old therapists trick.

Simply don't let the reason the tears are falling become the subject for discussion, continue talking about what you want to talk about after handing your wife the kleenex box.

Example...

HPD wife: Wahhhh!!!
goldendragon: *politely hands his wife a kleenex* So anyway hon about that trip to Disney World...

"Also, possibly she could be deprived of romantic company since she is now under the watchful eyes of her parents- so back to the fool who might have her and who put up with her (?) Even at my most optimistic, I have difficulty in believing that 2.5 months of therapy( 2 hrs 3 times a week) would be sufficient to make a person change this fundamentally.What do you feel ?"

HPD's need 2-3 years of therapy and have to want to get better to get better.

So no I don't think your wife has changed in this short of a span.

"I again had a chat with her counsellor and she copped out of defining it saying " I dont believe in classifying stuff and I dont read any journals- I just believe in dealing with what is there in front of me."Mad I was trying to push her to really defining what she had so I could atleast find out the prognosis.."

I hate that $#%^.

Labels are needed in society for certain things or else confusion sets in and with it frustration and anger.

"Now her(her counsellor's) proposal is that we meet on weekends and talk.. I am not at all sure I want to do this. For one , I am scared of my wife. I cannot play chess with people I love. Work and business is something else- but even there I prefer to deal straight. I am scared of being manipulated and of being hurt, exploited and punished for being loving, gentle and caring. I have a lot to give to the world and I cannot do it if I am sucked dry and squashed like a fly."

I suppose I would advise you to try one meeting with your wife.

If you get the feeling she is manipulating you, then that is what is happening.

In my research on Cluster B in general I've found continuous warnings for people to listen to their instincts and beware of instant rapport and the feeling of something being too good to be true with a person.

"I am confused and pulled in different directions by my fear, my love and other emotions. I am frankly still dealing with this by avoiding it to some extent or by diverting my mind. What should I do ? I am not sure how I can deal with this."

I address this in the HPD faq about the HPD's game but anyway I'll tell it again here...

If you love your wife you must love her in the unconventional unhealthy way that an HPD must be loved in that you must play hot and cold and never give her too much love and always keep her chasing you and entertained.

And thats about it really.

This needs to be said:

It doesn't matter what she has.

Shes not going to change her life for you.

Shes unstable.

Get out.