How does your system communicate?

Hello everyone !

Usually, Ralph and I can communicate by speaking either "internally" or "externally". My communication with Alfred is pretty limited at the moment, but Ralph has good communication with Alfred, using the same principle. We can also "leave a message" to each other. So far, our knowledge of DID and DDNOS is quite limited, so that's about it. What we do know about ourselves is that we have our own private thinking space, so everyone can think what he wants in peace, without others knowing.

I realize now that we never responded to our own post!

Words. We communicate by using words. Written via journaling or spoken aloud or thought inwardly to someone. If we want to understand each other, we can't do without them. We can certainly communicate emotions directly but pretty much just the basics, like frustration, anger, happiness -- simple emotions.

The absolute clearest, most natural communication for us happens when the alter in the body speaks aloud back at those inside. Whoever wants to speak back can but usually it's mostly the one out talking with a few replies interspersed, unless someone is looking for answers, then there's more listening.

The littles definitely tend not to speak aloud unfortunately. So when they're in the body, someone inside may start talking to them and they'll reply internally, occasionally aloud. But often they just don't want to be bothered because they're playing!

The reason we make a point about words is that the host kept thinking communication should happen naturally within the mind like it did in his own head real estate. Like he could think something and we should all just know. The problem was, the thoughts were in his head space and no one else's. There was no attempt to push them out toward us or aim them. No check for a felt sense of whether there was any receipt. No repetition or restating his thought a different way. In brief, there was intent, but it fell far short of what was needed.

We have gotten better at not having to reply fully via words inside. So whoever is out will speak and someone inside will almost put a response into words but not quite, yet it's still received and the one out can reply. This speeds up the communication closer to what is more natural singleton thinking (our guess, at least).

We feel this is a definite sign the dissociative barriers are breaking down, because it's the way John communicated with himself for many years. A thought, maybe a primary question or topic, would be put into words to make it concrete, then all sorts of thoughts would reply to it or match up against it that didn't have to be spelled out. I don't know if that's clear in the communication outside, but it's clear to us over here.

Since most of us co-con now, communication is a bit easier than it used to be. Still, it's like learning a new language. Most of us talk by flashing an image of who's speaking (such as a little girl for Eve), and then send an emotion. I would have to interpret the emotion according to whats going on, or what was asked. If I'm right, I'll feel happy or at least not bad. If I'm wrong, I'll be flashed a mental image of the same person, but with an upset face, and then a new emotion. It's all about taking the time to put it all together, and it's not as hard as it used to be.

Not all the alters are good at this. My persecutor, who has not come forward from 'the dark', likes to use my own thoughts to make me feel terrible. So far no one else can do this, or find it more troublesome. It's easier to convey what you mean through images and emotions for the most part. Sam is the only one who simply cannot due this, due to her issue of only feeling anger.

My system is not yet co-conscious. I cannot wait to get to that point bc I do feel excitement about all the benefits! I sometimes am co-conscious with my 4-5 yo self & it feels as though she is a little girl who lives in my head. She laughs & giggles & talks to me (& I to her) in thought. She can be out by herself though & anything that happens will be told to me later by whoever witnesses whatever happened. I've had some dreadful realizations!

Communication is mainly done through journal writing. I, too, read my journal over & over bc I am all the time finding things that I didn't write. The hand writing is clearly different which is something that I always denied away to being hurried, angered or whatever. But it was the content - the absolute knowledge that I would never think that, say that or write that. Still trying to get them to sign their own work but not much cooperation as yet. My T has suggested that I get a composition book for all of my parts & write each of their names on one. (Another T yrs ago had me map out my system of 20 or so & so I bought a book for every one.) In an attempt to facilitate communication, I started writing to the littles & included a picture of where we used to live when with those who hurt us & where we live now along with a map of the US showing the distance between the states. One of my littles wrote me back

There is more & more communication going on that I would call just a passing of thoughts. I know they aren't mine but I can only dicsern if the thoughts are from a particular 5 or 15 yr old, otherwise it's anybody's guess.

Only rarely do I get startled by hearing my name out loud when I know I didn't say it.