How are you today?

Thanks Divided!
I'd like to multiquote but I'm not sure how you do it here other than copy and paste etc., there seems to be no easy way.

brandic wrote:

under ice wrote:I didn't mean to make anyone sad for me, so don't be sad. I'm not sad. Let's be happy .
I didn't feel bad actually, just confused in a self-centered way. I guess I just needed to vent some frustration.

I'm glad to hear you're not sad or feeling bad. Being confused and expressing it and venting frustration is a very good thing. I think I was able to relate to so much of what you were saying, and I think I am sad about those things for myself, so that's why it brought up those sad feelings for me. I wish I could be happy with you, but I'm having a bit of a rough time of it lately, so maybe you can be happy for both of us for now? Til I can feel happy again??

I can try Brandic . I hope the sadness goes away from you...
It's Monday morning and there's no room for melancholy in my world now, although I'm not overjoyed. Have a good day!

Multi-quoting is actually quite easy. (It was a long time before I found this out!) :

So you're on the thread where you are wanting to multi-quote. Click "reply". THEN, highlight whatever text you want to quote first. Then click "quote" on the upper right side of that person's text. It will automatically insert whatever you highlighted, with the quote prompts, into your "response" box. Then you can write whatever you want to say under it. THEN, go to the next quote you want to quote, highlight, and click "quote" on the top of that person's dialog box. And so on and so forth. You never have to cut and paste again!

(Unless you are on a smartphone, like me, and you can't highlight text. Then there truly is no easy way.)

I was riding my bike today on the bike trails near my house, and I think I saw my T in her car pull into her office building(the office is alongside the bike trails I frequent). Lol I don't know why I got so freaked out I felt embarrassed and worried that she saw me for some odd reason!

Feeling way improved today...sooooo ready to see my T on thursday though. Ugh waiting 9 days is the WORST!

Not feeling emotionally connected to any of this weeks past events...but maybe that's a good thing lol cuz I gotta go to work today!!! Glad T is tomorrow.

How's everyone else doing?

A bit emotional.

I woke up this morning and went into the kitchen to make my tea like I do every day and it smelled of burnt food. Then I remembered that yesterday morning I had put on the crockpot and this morning it was empty. There were some potatoes that had the distinct odor that burnt food gives off in a colandar sitting in the sink.

Apparently, I must have blacked out sometime yesterday, but I'm not sure when.

Once I started waking up a bit and really being coherant I started feeling emotional. I could hear my alters chatting away but all I could make out was that one was upset at the other for signing her name somewhere. Today I did not call out to them. Instead I listened quietly to see if I could make out what was being said.

Now I am at work and my emotions are running very, very high. I'm fine one moment and then I can feel my eyes start to water the next. Then I feel angry but not at anything specific and then I'm feeling teary eyes again.

I think I'm starting to feel things that my alters are feeling. My roommate said she talked to one of my alters and she has accepted, or at least come to an understanding as to what she is. I hope someday I can talk directly to her. Well, actually, I hope to be able to talk to all of them.

I know part of my emotions have to do with upsetting my Protector. I have posted a couple messages here and she has been offended that I used her name. At least I think I have. She is definitely upset with me for my messages and I am pretty sure that the specific reason is because I used her name. Perhaps I should have been more sensitive when using names. (Again, I apologize. I hope you will learn to trust me.)

Have a good day everyone. Make good choices.

Hello.

I've been abscent for a while, trying to absorb all the changes in my life. Two apts changed me quite a bit. I have learned of three more of me, and I've learned that technically we have no 'set personality'. Ill explain in a different post in the AM. But how I feel is confused and overwhelmed today. I'm obviously still awake, but mostly because I'm truly to sort things out.

My parents suddenly got back together, and immediately called me once mother was finished moving I , to see if I would send them 100 dollars. Eve immediately sent it, causing massive ripples of anger and unrest. Today was hell trying to re-establish a sense of control. Sara has been taking over more frequently today, trying to turn the anger into something that can be physically expelled. Bleh.

Anyhow, I hope everyone has a good day today.

My mind has been rather chaotic all weekend, it's flooded with random stuff from work and memories and I feel like I'm not very well grounded. I've had general muscle soreness that's been on for weeks, especially back muscles and now there has been nausea that comes and goes and certain thoughts that seem to be connected with it.

I went for a walk at a recreation area this morning, a beautiful and rather wild place by the lake, for some reason I haven't been there for a while. There's something about it that drags me into a strange vibe, well at least today there was. It took me back to somewhere inside my head. I wonder why surroundings have such an intense effect on me sometimes?
It was a very windy morning, and the sound of waves hitting the breakwater made me feel weird. It could be connected with all the summers we spent at our cottage when I was young, but I didn't think of that today. Instead I was thinking about a picnic I was on a few years ago with some recovering substance abusers, as part of my work then. It was a nice picnic but the memory of it felt disturbing today.
Anyway, I climbed on some rocks that are usually under water, it's so low this autumn that a lot of lake bottom has been revealed. That didn't make me feel better, I usually enjoy such things but today it felt risky even though it isn't. All sorts of anxiety-ridden thoughts and memories kept surfacing. I started walking back to my car and got a feeling that something will happen, as three of my "parts" (I don't know what to call them anymore, I'm uncertain of their role and origin at the moment) appeared and stepped aside to show someone new, who is significantly more troubled than the rest of my "imaginary friends".
I better stop now, it has taken 20 minutes for me to type and delete and retype that last sentence .

Hi,

Procrastinating at work with a cold. Please keep me in your prayers!

Trying hard,
SL

Am making myself post, despite a strong desire not to. Sundays are usually very difficult for me, and today is no exception. I go into my depressed mode and feel like a total waste. Why can't I get up off the sofa and actually do something worthwhile? Shower even...? Conflicting thoughts - some telling me to get off my ass and do something, others telling me I should be kind to myself and not force anything. Let my mind wander, or browse the forum, or watch tv. Which seems like a total waste. Either way it's a big conflict and nothing's getting done and I'm tearing myself up about it. If I'm going to do something, I should just do it. And if I'm not going to do anything, I should just accept that and enjoy it rather than tear myself to pieces over it. Some peace would be nice...

Caroline, this calls to mind that John used to have the rule that he didn't have to accomplish anything on Sundays. That was his one day of the week that was free from expectations. It could be wasted. So he could "waste time" watching football with no guilt. I don't think he's even thought of that rule since we all took on our second job last year: DID. Of course, he's not alone in the body (he never was!) so he can't use that rule anymore, but it's worth remembering. The effect of that, however, is that Saturday became errands day and evenings have to be taken advantage of too to some extent. So he couldn't goof off all week, then goof off on Sunday too without guilt.

He came up with a similar $5 rule. If he lost $5 or if was shortchanged by $5 short or something cost $5 more than he was expecting, he ignored it and moved on. This is because getting angry about every penny was something he learned from a damaged family and he was making enough money that $5 simply wasn't worth worrying a second about.