How are you today?

bourbon wrote:hugs gratefully received

HUGS

thanks tylas!!!!!

hugs

I've been better but I've definitely been worse. Haven't been getting much sleep. But the strange part about that is that I seem to be in a better mood when I am sleep deprived. More calm and relaxed, less stressed and anxious and rageful. Go figure. Maybe it's because my psyche is just too tired to get upset about things! Whatever the reason, I'll take it. My back and hip pain however is bad today, so that evens things out I guess.

How are other people doing today?

Had a nice bike ride and have a little time to relax before I head out to work. It's a lovely day, and I'm gonna try to really enjoy and relish the fact that I have a good stable job where I am surrounded by some very positive people. I hope that I can let down some of my walls and connect with them some day

Hope your back and hip pain gets better soon brandic

And hope you have a good, connected, day divided!!

AAHHH!!! Crazy day today. I gotta hop on my bike and take my medical hold removal forms to my therapist, then rush to work for a 1-10 shift. At least it's not raining right? Gotta look on the bright side. How is everyone else doing today?

It's chucking it down with rain here, and dark already. Winter has definitely set in

BUT I had the initial appointment with the new therapist today (for anonymity purposes from now on I will refer to him as Wolf!) and I was pretty impressed and hopeful.

So yay

Bourbon

Sigh. Trigger warning, memories.

I visited my hometown today, it's been two years since the last time.
I went to my old friends' house, it was very nice especially since it's the only place that has stayed the same you know, a place where you can go back to. It's the only place left of my life before 1995, so much has changed since then, and I have no other real friends or any relatives left there.

But it's rather confusing to go back. It's a beautiful little town, and I always drive past certain places I liked and our old houses.

When I go there I feel a definite time shift in my head, or perhaps I dare say a splitting of time and myself into two modes, now and then. I sort of want it to happen. I see myself as a little girl, playing alone outdoors in my favourite places, and I am there. It's like the spirit of my memories of places and the way they used to be, and myself as a ghost just continue to exist in a parallel universe. It's all so overwhelming and dreamy and terribly sad. I had company today in the car on my way back and I told them something about the places we passed on our way, and this seemed to make it worse than ever.

I've been at home for hours and still can't stop being there.
Also other things happened. When I came home I noticed some calls and messages on my mobile that I would have preferred to receive not today, and they made me start panicking a little. This caused an old chain of PTSD reactions to emerge and I started to fear that I'm going to get problems for something I talked about to a friend, and I had to call them to make sure they got my point right the other day. A litte later I was on the phone with someone and due to a misunderstanding of a remark I said, mostly directed at myself, they became suddenly very mad at me! I apologized but it didn't change much anything, and it was just awkward. We ended the conversation without restoring the usual nice communication.
So, I'm feeling pretty #######5 and a little scared the panic symptoms will come back when I go to bed in the evening.

Well i've had quite a big day today. After being discharged from the psychiatric unit 4 weeks ago,
i've still been under the care of the hospital under the home treatment team. They made visits on
a daily basis at first, then reduced to every 2 days ,then 4. They even came to my house in under an hour one morning when I phoned them because I was having strong suicidal urges.
My big news is that as of today I am no longer under the care of the team, as they feel I have made significant progress in my recovery and coping strategies and i'm now signed over into the care of
my local mental health authority. I see my care co-ordinator (who is a mental health social worker)
again next week and she's making an appointment to see my consultant psychiatrist.
I personaly cannot fault the NHS (U.K.) for the care and understanding provided so far in my
treatment and hope it continues.
It feels good to be a 'proper' member of the public again and it feels like i've been released into the
wild!

middle-man wrote:My big news is that as of today I am no longer under the care of the team, as they feel I have made significant progress in my recovery and coping strategies and i'm now signed over into the care of
my local mental health authority. I see my care co-ordinator (who is a mental health social worker)
again next week and she's making an appointment to see my consultant psychiatrist.
I personaly cannot fault the NHS (U.K.) for the care and understanding provided so far in my
treatment and hope it continues.

So happy for you

All of that hard work you have put in has paid off.

Congratulations!