Can you have DID without attachment issues?

So I've heard a couple of different things around attachment and DID, one is that trauma or attachment issues can cause it, and one where you have to have both.
I know I had repeated trauma when I was a child, but I've always been really close to my mum (primary caregiver) and the only times I can think of that could have caused attachment issues were at birth (there were complications and then I was placed in a crib behind my mum's bed so she couldn't see or hold me for about a day, so I only saw nurses and doctors).
Then, between 8-10 when my mum had my younger brother, who had a lot of issues, and then I lost a lot of relatives over the 2 years, one of whom I was very close to and looked after me every weekend and some afternoons until I was about 6. Those put together might have meant my mum didn't pay as much attention to me?
I'm not sure if I'm just doubting myself and looking for excuses as to why I can't have DID, but I'm just confused. Does anyone else have strong attachments with DID? Idk this is probably really dumb but I'm not gonna stop thinking about it unless I talk to someone, and I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone i know in person about it.
Thanks.

Strong attachement doesnt nessecary mean safe of healthy

you know, as a host I am able to have pretty normal-looking relationships where attachment doesn't seem to be an issue. but others within the system have different attachment needs and styles. that's what makes us as a whole struggle with attachment. it is in the nature of DID to separate things. judging by looking at one part only, especially the part who usually fronts, says very little about the system.
I agree, having some attachment behavior doesn't mean it is healthy. being too close without any critical thoughts would indicate dependency to me more than trust. honestly, you sound too positive to me to even be a part who knows what happened to you. I bet that others would tell the story differently.
If you only look at yourself as one part and insist that this is all you are, you might even convince yourself that you don't have DID and there is no attachment problem. I think you might be missing the bigger picture though.

I haven't looked at my attachment issues for years as an individual concept but I definitely had or have attachment issues.

In therapy I realised it. I had abusive relationships. I was "close" to my parents and thought it was all great. It was only therapy that made me realise there were issues with my parents, (neglect, emotional, psychological and physical abuse), I didn't go beyond that and kept telling myself it was "just" that not that it's a "just" I have to keep reminding myself that because other things seem worse to me but another part made me realise those things are equally terrible and make up the whole picture, one abuse wouldn't work without the other and it wouldn't have been so covert.

I don't know if everyone with DID has attachment issues.

I would look at other relationships, see how they are, what are they like, who do you attach to in other relationships. That will give you a rough idea of if your relationship with your mother is ok - as Allcolours said strong attachment doesn't mean healthy.

Secondly if you asked my sister she'd say she's very close to our mother. That only my father was abusive. That I'm crazy. That social services are liars. That my mother is always there for her.

Taking my word away from any of that: she has fractious relationships with friends, similar issues to me with partners, has put herself repeatedly in dangerous situations. She is not someone who you look at and say "her mother must have mothered her well" it's the opposite.

So look deeply at outside relationships. The relationship with your primary care giver is reflected in those. I realised recently that my last abusive ex is like my mother, not my father. He over dramatises, tries to create anxiety, pretends I need him for things that I don't, doesn't bloke me having outside relationships, gaslights - all things my mother does. My father minimises everything, has a forked tongue rather than straight up gaslights, is never there if needed with anything Inc work they called him nicknames because nobody ever knows where he is.

So look at your other relationships. They are a reflection.

I was very close to my mother and thought we had a great relationship. But it turns out it was all about her. Her need to see me a certain way and for me to meet her need to be a "good mother," and to have an amazing child. She used me in many different ways, but none of it was obvious. It looked like she was very affectionate--but that was to meet her need for physical contact, not mine. We had food, I got driven to activities, but there was no one to help me with MY feelings.

And I agree with what Sarandipity said. It's your other relationships that are a reflection of whether you had a secure attachment, because then you replicate that with other people in your life. You don't let anyone treat you abusively, you don't have difficulty trusting others or feeling close to others.

Also, what birdsong said is true--you can have parts that are capable of normal-looking relationships, with no attachment issues. I have that--I have people I've been friends with for decades, but they only see a part of me--a healthy, high-functioning, successful, capable part. They don't see trauma-holding littles.

Anyway, I think the short answer to your question is no. Someone who had a secure attachment, and therefore at least one person who was attuned to their emotions, helped them learn to emotionally regulate and to process any traumas that occurred, would not have the kind of ongoing chronic trauma that would lead to DID.

birdsong87 wrote:If you only look at yourself as one part and insist that this is all you are, you might even convince yourself that you don't have DID and there is no attachment problem. I think you might be missing the bigger picture though.

Along these lines, hosts, by design, are usually the parts of a DID system who (1) have the most developed attachment to caregivers and (2) are least likely to have access to memories of abuse or neglect, if any, by those same caregivers. Other parts of a DID system will have the lack of attachment and the memories of abuse or neglect.

If you have DID, doubting yourself and looking for excuses as to why you can't have DID is absolutely normal. If you have DID, it would be quite unusual if you didn't doubt yourself and doubt the DID, at least when you first begin to suspect DID or are diagnosed. This self-doubt is part of how DID works.

Johnny-Jack wrote:Along these lines, hosts, by design, are usually the parts of a DID system who [...] have the most developed attachment to caregivers

Usually. I hope that I'm not the only exception, because that thought brings up all sorts of feelings of self-judgment.

But that's my issue, not anyone else's.

Charity

I've been thinking about my other relationships, and with my friends i switch between leaning on them to help, and constantly worrying I've upset or disappointed them or dragging them down, so I put in too much effort and sometimes make myself ill at their benefit. Then, if something bad happens, I completely blame myself, or if we don't live near each other, I can't get back in contact and we fall out. With romantic relationships, I find it really hard to actually get to the point where I want a relationship with a person, and my ex was manipulative and isolated me from my friends, and I'd just try and make him happy. I guess putting that all together probably doesn't look great, and probably shows I have attachment issues.
Thanks guys, all your messages really helped, sorry I haven't quoted anyone, I'm still new to all this XD but yeah, thanks

I wouldn't know, of course, but the clues for the kind of problems with your parental attachment may be showing up as the dysfunctional attachments you're describing with various friends. Attachment is absolutely necessary for humans so we learn to attach to any degree that it's available in our environment which sometimes can be really limited. Can you say that you received a healthy, supportive attachment that modeled and built self-confidence, resilience, and independence? If not, the fault lies not with you.