Outside friendships; how to do that?:)

We may not be as bad with friendships after all than we thought. We can be sometimes, when 12 yos are affecting Boy and we stop understanding anything but sexual relationships, but for Dude it's maybe not that bad at all.

We just heard by coincidence a belief, an analyze of some kind, about girls and boys and how they do friendships. So when women are friends, they spend time sitting face-to-face, talking with each other and they bond by their shared views, opinions and feelings. And when men are friends, they spend time side-by-side, doing things together, and bond by their shared interest. Women talk more about themselves, men talk more about stuff.

That is of course generalization and not the only truth about every situation or everyone who ever existed, but there are lot of truths behind generalizations, that's why they became generalizations.

We can go outside and do stuff with others. But if we need to BE with someone and not DO anything, we have no clue what should we do. Especially if there's just two of us. It's easier to just be if we are in a group.

Maybe it doesn't mean there's something wrong with us. Maybe it's just because we're boys. We don't need to try to bond by sharing any inside stuff of our's.

And our 12 yos are getting better. When we were hospitalized, we just didn't get anything. Like what is the point of playing pool. Or x-box. Or anything. They just didn't understand anything but sex. Even when we got our weight down and hormone levels low enough and didn't so much want sex, they still didn't understand anything else. It's not about what we want, it's also what we can and cannot. And we were very depressed and self destructive also, so mostly staring in to nothing, crying, or trying to bang our head to the wall. So, not really in mood to play games. And at that time we were splitting, Boy and Dude becoming more apart, Nooa was away, and there was no one really hosting or controlling switches at all.

But still we only TRUST the ones who want us. But now we can hang out with other people too and not feel so much they are a threat to us. With adults it's still more complicated (12 yos focus on them). But we are getting better.

Boy and Dude, 14-15

That sounds very promising, Boy and Dude. If you don't want to share stuff from inside, you never have to! If you like it more to do stuff in stead of talking; there are loads of people who prefere that as well!

Sounds like you are finding out what feels good in stead of 'how it was (badly) tought' and that's really a good thing.

Also very glad to hear that your 12 year olds are getting better.

May I ask, which parts are most active where you live? Do they see how fit you would be for proper therapy?