What specifically makes you switch?

**I don't know if asking about what makes others switch will be triggering; if so, please skip.** ... [is this the kind of thing that should come with a TW?]

All I've put my finger on so far, more or less in order of most likely to cause a switch:

1. Shame/humiliation
2. Abandonment/rejection
3. Fear/threat

All seem to get covered by anger, which dissolves to sadness, then totally withdrawing so I can fully "check out". All 3 triggers, I suppose, are perception-based. I don't know if challenging my perception would help me not switch so quickly. Ie, was that person really taking a dig at me? Was I in genuine danger? Etc . Anyone tried that or had luck with it?

TheyBrokeMe wrote:1. Shame/humiliation
2. Abandonment/rejection
3. Fear/threat

All seem to get covered by anger, which dissolves to sadness, then totally withdrawing so I can fully "check out". All 3 triggers, I suppose, are perception-based. I don't know if challenging my perception would help me not switch so quickly. Ie, was that person really taking a dig at me? Was I in genuine danger? Etc . Anyone tried that or had luck with it?

Thank you for sharing. Perception of the surrounding world can be a challenge for us, especially in the face of depersonalization and derealization, which are all too common with us. Being transgender adds an extra complexity.

You mention your anger transforms into sadness? We have enormous difficulty expressing any sort of anger and internalize it as a rule.

Triggers for us tend to be specific, but often unclear as to their origin; being in proximity to any loud/violent conflict, hearing a crying child...

It's very complicated for me a lot has to do with what I am doing/which people are around (I have no choice but to allow a certain part of me take over at work so I can appear somewhat normal and I cant afford to be jobless given my bad habits and being in serious debt for a while now)

However, even work sometimes I will feel as if a switch may come and I simply have to internalize it and trip most of the day in my head so i dont let it happen (these out of blue switches I have no idea why they happen- though I think, cant say for sure, I am still conciousn3ss regardless whoever else is out)

Other things that I willing do is various substances (mostly pot- but here I cannot always control who will appear- but usually I am able to communicate with parts I cannot otherwise and gain access to certain memories too)

we are considering pursuing medical marijuana to help keep us relaxed so we won't end up in crisis as much as we have in the past months but aren't entirely sure it is a good idea. can anyone help?

What makes me switch? Environmental demands.

Some work that I do is done by one of us, some by another. Life threats (as in, violent assault with a deadly weapon) are dealt with by an instant but temporary fusion of certain of us. Surprise (and very much unwanted) sexual encounters provoke another. I hate it when a man uses some pretext to get me alone then tries to get sexual. That is rape behavior.

littleDaria: I so agree ... I forgot that for me, crying children, yelling, or animal yelps are instant check-out provokers. Also, once my anger emerged 2 years ago, it wasn't pretty. I still struggle to keep it in check but a lifetime's worth of anger came on without warning. I can usually link anger to sadness, or my sadness to internalized anger. Sometimes making that connection helps.

Also littleDaria, we have both recreational and medical marijuana where I live so I have a med license based primarily on PTSD. I mostly smoke it at night to shut down my thoughts, but I have had to do some experimenting to find the right blend/strength for me. Do you have access to it? Might be worth looking into.

Interestingly, like WTFDIDIDO, pot allows me to connect to parts and memories I can't seem to access otherwise. It's usually a really chill, optimistic part

Una+: Yeah, creepy, manipulative or pushy men usually put me in freeze mode but it started shifting to my fighter more often as I aged. These kind of guys seem big on taking innocent comments and turning them into suggestive come-ons-- more than sleazy, it's just lazy!

TheyBrokeMe wrote:These kind of guys seem big on taking innocent comments and turning them into suggestive come-ons-- more than sleazy, it's just lazy! :roll:

FWIW, that's not the kind of behavior I'm talking about. And I don't freeze. I switch.

DID systems evolve based in part on what's needed and what's happening in a person's life. So my system happened to create dozens of alters. There's not always anything we can identify that causes a switch and most of them happen without our awareness anyway. We only figured out the past few years that switches happen.

I'm sure it hasn't always been this way but 99% of our switches cause no problem or stress -- leaving aside therapy. So most are routine and mundane. In other words, for my system, switches are normal and usually aren't caused by or don't cause stress. With co-consciousness and little time loss in adulthood, no wonder we never figured this out.

Here are some known reasons that we switch:

Boredom
Interest
Specific people in the environment, for example, our son, co-workers, neighbors, children
Fatigue
Facing a physical challenge
Something appearing in the environment that anyone of us has any feelings about or interest or disinterest in
Habit
Deadlines
Frustration

I could go on and on. Weird or threatening situations aren't as likely to cause switches for us, at least the last few decades. This actually makes sense to me given our life history.

1.They better at it
2. Can not be those emotions
3. Wants control
4. Too overt
5. Too much involvement
6. Confusion
7. Being built
8. Wants to be scene
9. Ignorance
10. Looks
11. Ambiance
12. Just their turn
13. To open up to folks their fortress wants to be scene
14. Can take mirrors
15. To eat more
16. Exercise
17. Trauma reminders
18. to speak to not
19. Too be loyal
20. Called to people pleasing
Plenty more

Johnny-Jack wrote:99% of our switches cause no problem or stress -- leaving aside therapy. So most are routine and mundane. In other words, for my system, switches are normal and usually aren't caused by or don't cause stress.

Yep.

MDs