questioning memory

So I don't think of myself as dealing with amnesia as an adult so much. I get what I think people refer to as microamnesias, and I'll forget what I did in a day or I'll remember what I did but not know when it happened in a two week period, but I don't lose time for instance. Or at least that's what I think. Anyway, this post isn't about losing time so that doesn't matter.

What it is about is that I was watching a movie that I thought I had never seen before. I watched it believing this clear up to the last 15 min or so when suddenly one of the frames just set off a memory of what happened next and then when it happened I remembered watching it with my brother and an old partner of his. I'm still not aware of when we watched it the first time, I have an idea of roughly 2 time periods of about a year each that it could have been but not sure which. Now it's left me feeling foggy and exhausted. I don't really know what to think about the whole thing. I guess it's just left me feeling confused...

So you don't have amnesia except when you do? I don't know if you have amnesia or just normal lack of recall. How was the movie for you? "Meh", or riveting?

A few years ago I saw Avatar but then I had no memory of it. That amnesia became apparent in family conversation. "Wait, what? You've seen Avatar? Without me? How did that happen?" "No, you were there. You chose it. It was on your has-something-to-do-with-DID movie list." Sigh. So we watched it again and at first it was not familiar at all but then the mental ice wall began to melt and I did remember watching it before. I remembered watching it and crying a lot. If only we could each have our own body. If only we could go live in that jungle and have a visceral life of odors, flavors, imagery, sounds, textures, movement, physicality. But in a way we do have the mind meld thing going on.

I have personas I'm not aware of and when they are on I have no memory of that time. It could be that kind of situation.
People tell me I have been in to one house when I was younger with my friend and I don't even know the house. I swear I have never been there. But I must have been as my SO's best friend met me first time there and he remembers me well as I was so kind and nice to him.
We do have the memory if we have lived it but it can be that we just can't access it as it's behind another persona. If that persona isn't anymore then those memories can be triggered.

I also have trouble with short time memory and memory altogether as my main personality is split in 4 and then it takes long to process their memories to one that I will then remember. It usually takes 2-4 days, depending how stressed I am. Sometimes it can be up to two weeks. Sometimes I just don't get the memory at all without triggers. Like if I would have been in the city and met someone there but it has been a really stressful time or I have had a panic attack, I probably wouldn't remember it if the person wouldn't tell everything about our meeting. Usually I photograph everything that could be meaningful so I can remember it later. It has helped my memory a lot.

I have been tested for dementia and Altzheimer's due my big memory losses but I have neither.

i have a lot of memory distortion and difficulty with recall. i can recall things i did at certain ages or in certain years to varying degrees, but i can get some things wrong or think they happened at other times than they actually did.

i have had it where i knew i watched a movie but at the same time didn't know i knew...and had no memory of seeing it at all or not thinking i have seen a movie and being able to know what it was about.

memory is difficult for me in general. i can know i went to the store but i don't remember usually what day in the week, yesterday or two or three days ago, etc. and know that i worked but not details of what i did that particular day (which isn't a big deal cuz i still get work done).

i don't like more than anything though the lack of connection to memory, especially when i am trying to build and hold on to positive and good feeling memories.

No real advice, just putting it out there that my standard response to "have you seen x movie" is "I have no idea". Sometimes if my memory is jogged, I might remember. Other times people swear I watched it with them but I have zero memory of it. Some stick in my mind but usually because they trigger trauma memories.

Lately I thought I'd been doing a great job piecing together my past and staying present, only to realize I can't remember having a single birthday before my 18th. I know other alters have talked to Dr about birthdays in particular, but I don't recall. I thought "surely that's not true, they'd be in my head somewhere".. well 3 days on I still have nothing. Only a few snippets and one idea from a picture. No actual birthday related memories. How crazy is that? I think they call it selective amnesia?

no answers here either. i relate.

losing time for me is rarely a "GASP! what happened?" type of thing. it's more of "did you get a haircut?". and the answer is "I don't know. maybe."

I am not really aware that I lose time or memories. just that my lack of memory is abnormal. i tell people I have trouble with my memory because of a car accident. it is also easier to blame good old aging process.

now sometimes I actually will remember something. and that is the abnormal experience for me.

like everyone else.. i relate.

this weekend i was at my gf's graduation party and every time someone referred to something we'd done or somewhere we'd gone, i didn't remember. to the degree that it became kind of a joke ("you know when you guys came to that party.. oh wait you DONT REMEMBER i bet"). sad since everyone else drinks but me. *rolls eyes*

Vortexvoid, I was a joke and odd for my SO's friend a long time before we told that hey, I'm sick. I met one of his friends 6 times and always introduced myself like we would have met the first time as it was the first time for me. He was really frustrated to it. Then I started to remember him. Now I just use the photographing technique. Though I won't remember their names but at least I know I've met them.

Thanks for the replies. I often have the experience of remembering that I've done something but not being able to place the day that it happened, even when it's been earlier in the day. The tricky thing about the movie is it was like watching it for the first time until the point that one scene triggered the memory of watching it. At least I really enjoyed it!

Here's a good one you guys might appreciate.

Had breakfast with a school friend this morning (our kids go to the same school) Said friend was commenting how well I handled a school issue (that I have no recollection of by the way..) and she innocently commented that she couldn't wait to tell her husband that I'm not an airhead at all :-/

I asked her what she ment. She said her husband said whenever he's at the school, I'm a million miles away (mentally). I again asked what she ment but she couldn't elaborate.

I'm not offended by anything, I'm guessing I don't acknowledge him or something. Strange because I know them both quite well. I'm guessing he's seen me lots but I haven't seen him. Who knows. Part of the disorder I guess.