Please help

I wondered if anyone could provide any advise at all, my partner has severe DID, and many parts, she's been stuck as a child part (herself as a little one) for all of this year so far, and large parts of last year. The problem is, that her little girl has cancer, and last time my partner was around she was in remission, but now she has a new tumor, and we could really do with my partner being back here to support her little girl through this. Does anyone have any ideas as to how to get through to her? Or anything that has worked for you guys in the past to bring you back from other parts? Any advice would be so much appreciated, when she is this little part, her whole world is a hallucination, so I could be standing in front of her and she wouldn't be able to see me, so it's difficult to interact with her at the moment apart from on the phone or via text, she isn't at all co-conscious. but as I say any input would be fantastic

Hi Promise2013,

Such a difficult situation you're all going through.

If I understood correctly your partner's daughter has cancer and your partner's child part has been fronting all of this year and most of the past. And you want another alter (I imagine a grown up alter? Mother-like alter?) to be fronting?

Have you tried the usual (at least what I consider it to be)?

- Talking through to her?
- Telling her child part to talk internally to another part (both mentally or out loud)?
- Have you tried writing her notes?
- Have you tried things that another alter really likes? A dessert, a song?

If that has not worked, maybe you could give it a try to something River posted here the Dissociative Table Technique. She's been using that technique with her therapist, so I don't know if it's advisable for your partner to try and use it on her own. But maybe, if your partner is going to a Therapist, you could broach it.

Here River mentions the Dissociative Table Technique: post1370315.html#p1370315
Here is where River posted the link to read about the Dissociative Table Technique: dissociative-identity/topic133001.html

I've read that whoever alter is out, is the one the whole system consideres the best to be out at that time. Have you considered that maybe her child alter is out for a specific reason to give her daughter the support she needs right now? I don't know, I'm just giving some thought about why her child alter is out.

I really wish you and your family the best, and hope that who ever is out gives all the love and support her daughter needs right now.

Sea

Hi, I'm a support person too.

Does your partner have a therapist? Just wondering because it sounds as if this alter has delusions, and that may be a bit complicated for you to handle without the help of a therapist.

I would also suggest talking through, or sending a message through, gently so the alter out does not feel rejected. This is usually reserved for emergencies, so I think this qualifies.

Best of luck to you...

Thank you for your kind responses, yes Sea your understanding is correct, the thing is, when she's this child part that she usually is lately, she has no idea that she has parts or that she is part of a bigger system, she just thinks her world which is my partners 7 year old world is completely real, and it is to her, so to suggest to her that she has other parts just really upsets her and makes her very anxious. Though a song could be a good idea I think possibly. I'm just not sure she'd even be able to hear it, but I'll give it a go.

I'll have a look at the dissociative table technique. and yep she does have a therapist.

I'm really not sure as to why the child alter is out, her daughter can't interact at all with this child alter though so it isn't to support her I don't think.

Oh, I get you. My guessing is that her child alter is out so that other parts of her can deal with what she's going through right now.

I just got an idea, what if you tell your partner's child alter a story and in that way you tell other parts of your wife what you wanna tell her?

You guys may sit and color a book, or in front a fireplace eating marshmallows and there you could be a story teller.

Create the story you want her to know, in a fantastical, child-like way, that would transmit what you want. And announce the story to everyone who is able to listen.

So ,you could say:

"I'm gonna tell you a fantastic story that happened many, many years ago. I want you, all parts of you, and all parts of me, and everyone who might be listening right now to pay close attention. And if any of you think someone else may benefit from the story, you could let them know too."

In a way you feel comfortable, and that would make your partner's child alter feel comfortable as well.

If she asks you why do you say so, you could answer 'coz there are fantastical beings every where who might wanna listen to the story and enjoy it.

And later it could go as something like:

"Once upon a time, there was a little girl, who was guarded by many wise people. These people had little contact with the outside world, and the little girl was the one who every day would go out and look for food and get to know the world. One day she met another fantastic girl, with whom she played and watched TV. Every day she would go the wise people and tell her how much fun the two of them had had together. After some days, the little girl that was guarded by many wise people, saw that the other little girl was sad, and didn't know how to help her. So immediately, she went to talk to the wise people she trusted, looking for help. Among them, one wise woman, full of love, reached for her and explained that maybe the other little girl was feeling lonely, that maybe she needed a motherly hug. So she the wise woman offer to accompany next time she would go and visit her..."

Here is some information on talking through: http://www.onlineceucredit.com/ceus-onl ... DID08.html

And here is a thread in this Forum on Talking through:

How do you to talk through the host to an insider?
http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic79660.html

I'm sending you the best energy so that whoever is needed for your wife's daughter may be out.

Sea

Thank you again Sea so so much, I love your idea of telling a story, I'm going to do some thinking about that over the weekend and see what I can come up with, and also have a good look over the links you've sent through.

That is an absolutely beautiful idea Seaangel, and could even be adapted to a story about her daughter and why she needs her mother right now - possibly triggering an adult part forward who would understand the context of it a bit more.

lifelongthing wrote:...could even be adapted to a story about her daughter and why she needs her mother right now - possibly triggering an adult part forward who would understand the context of it a bit more.

TOTALLY!!!!

Hope they are doing ok.