Feeling of watching from inside/not being there?

A few days ago I had this weird feeling of not really being "there". I was there, if someone talked to me I would respond, I functioned normally, but it felt different. I felt as if I was watching from inside, like it was a wall or something, between me and reality/what was going on. It wasn't really scary but it felt weird, like I wasn't totally there although I functioned and felt myself doing it... Like, I did it, talked, felt and everything, but I had this strong feeling of being disconnected/having a "wall" between me and the rest of the world.

By the way when I was about 12 (when everything started, for me), I was really scared and I'd feel like I wasn't in control of my body. I was, but I felt like... well, like someone else was controlling it as well, that I wasn't all in control. I'm guessing this was co-conciousness? Anyways. When I tried to talk to my parents about this I wrote a note saying "I'm sorry but it wasn't me", because I really felt like someone else was controlling me, you get it?

Honestly I don't remember much from that time because it's all like a big hole almost, so I don't remember all of what I was feeling at the time but I'm trying to describe it as good as I can. This alter that I'm guessing was co-concious with me (Echo, I now know) didn't think that Reality deserved us after what it had done. She wanted to escape it and she almost jumped out the window once, when I felt like she was in control with me...

Anyone knows what's going on?

I wrote a not saying "I'm sorry but it wasn't me", because I really felt like someone else was controlling me, you get it?

Yup, definitely.

Sorry I can't be of more help but it sounds like it could be co-hosting, co-consciousness and/or depersonalization.

I hope you figure it out

lifelongthing wrote:

I wrote a not saying "I'm sorry but it wasn't me", because I really felt like someone else was controlling me, you get it?

Yup, definitely.

Sorry I can't be of more help but it sounds like it could be co-hosting, co-consciousness and/or depersonalization.

I hope you figure it out

Thank you for getting it! it's OK, I'm happy you let me know what you thought about it, even though it wasn't a lot.

Yes, definitely something I'm familiar with!! You might be on the right track, looking into DID/dissociative disorders.

These threads might be helpful to you in understanding a bit more about what could be going on.

-- This thread contains DDNOS/DID resource websites (that do a wonderful job at explaining things), and organized threads from this site that discuss discovery experiences, dissociative experiences, symptoms, common questions, how to start communication with parts/alters, and much more.
- DDNOS/DID Resources: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic100829.html


-- This thread focuses on the "causes" of DID, DID development, switching/co-consciousness/co-hosting, doubt/denial issues, and has a couple good threads on communicating/accepting/understanding/working with alters:
- For all who question how they have DID/think their's is odd: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic104081.html


If you identify with things in these threads, or have experiences similar to them, or see symptoms and such that "fit" you or "match" what you experience, then I would start looking further into DID as a possibility for you.

Best of luck with everything!


-Cassandra

First, those threads above will help you.

Second, I know what you mean. Two weeks ago I had a similar feeling while my alter Danny was out and talking to my husband. I could see and feel everything. So, you're not alone in that.

Yup, those threads are definitely helpful!

Another one that you might relate to (and that might be helpful) is this one:
A host change? WTH? (especially the 2nd page)

(Sorry, can't say much more now.)

im not multiple,but i saw this a number of times with my gf who was the holy grail of multiplicity...

its called depersonalization... she had what i call a 1000 yard stare but was responsive .. we walked the entire length of a busy mall once when she was like this.. basically its like the hidden auto pilot self takes executive control but shes still verbalizing ...

very very creepy stufff..no offense

Thanks all of you, I'll be sure to check the links out! And thanks for letting me know that I'm not alone.