how to integrate?

We have a chance on a happy life, with a girlfriend, a job, etc. but for it we all seemingly have to integrate, in my country DID seems to be something no one wants to get near to. Does anyone know a way on which this possibly might work? I don't care how hard to do it is or how long it takes, I just want to become one.

(I just wrote a reply and it got deleted, so this one might be a little shorter, sorry).

First of all, it is not safe or healthy to attempt integration on your own without professional help/guidance. It is also not safe or healthy to force integration, even if it's for a job or a relationship. Integration is a process that requires time, patience, and often processes within processes.

Secondly, you know that you can have a happy, successful life without integration, right? It is possible. It is also possible to heal without integrating. This is our system's goal. We do not wish to integrate. Instead, we wish to become a fully-functional, smoothly-run, cooperative system/team. It is possible to be just as functional (if not more), as every other "normal" person without integrating, and it is possible to be successful in life without integrating.

Here's some threads that might cover what I said in my last reply, and that may also be helpful to you:
Integration: http://www.psychforums.com/post972644.html
Supportive Integration: http://www.psychforums.com/post970679.html
Integration- Prior to trauma processing - Category Triggers: http://www.psychforums.com/post822349.html
Preparation for Integration- Abuse Triggers: http://www.psychforums.com/post826434.html
New(ish) Dx, it's all a bit too much: (Rain's reply here mentions integration and trauma processing. So her reply is something you should read, despite the thread not really being about integration): http://www.psychforums.com/post978795.html
(This may or may not be helpful to you, and it's the longest thread I think I've referenced here, being 5 pages, but it might be interesting to you): What does Integration mean to you?: http://www.psychforums.com/post606540.html

(Don't feel overwhelmed with all the reading I've suggested. Most of these threads are short, 1-2 pages, but still might be helpful to you, and I hope they are. I'd suggest at least reading the first two, as the first one has most of what I said in my original reply there, and the second one may help give you a better idea of integration processes).


~The Hawk

You seem very determined to integrate. Keep in mind that all parts will have to agree on this process and actively work towards it together if it's what they want. It's important to work through all of the issues that everyone in the system has, such as bad memories etc. I can't remember if you have a therapist or not, but if you don't I think it's pretty vital to work through all of these issues with a therapist...

I read the book "A life in pieces" by Richard Baer when I first started therapy. It's a novel about one DID woman's journey from the beginning of therapy, through to the gradual process of integration. It might not work exactly like that for everyone, but I think the book was a nice summary of the different stages of healing that we go through that may get to a point of integration. It's a good read, so I'd suggest you give that a bit of a go if you want a bit more of a comprehensive look at what the journey of integration might look like.