Definition of:Compulsive Lying

lisag wrote:Hi all - never been here before - I am in utter shock - not because I find myself married to a complusive liar, but because I found this forum where so many others are experiencing the same thing. I work in the field of psych, yet still, I didn't know. And I saw the signs.....and I denied them (even though I had sworn to myself that I would never EVER deny my intuition again!!) So, here I sit. I do not know what to do. We have a life....we merged our families. kids, etc. We have a house - there are a million things I love about this man. My questions are: Are others finding that these lying people drink a lot (of course, more than he led me to believe in the beginning)?....And what about a link between lying and sexual issues (I recently found out he is also somewhat of a porn addict - I had NO idea before we got married....hid it like a pro!) Lastly, has ANYONE had experience with someone changing this behavior? Of course, he keeps telling me he will, and I keep catching him in lies - stupid, ridiculous, lies that mean nothing!!! I am confused and sad and i don't know whether to try to help him change (he has at least admitted it in counseling), or whether to give up and move on. Please someone get back to me. It feels good to know I am not the only one.

Click here: AntiSocial Personality Disorder
Go to these web site the give alot of info siteshttp://www.psychforums.com/forums/ ... te&p=14054

Tired of being lied 2 wrote:

lisag wrote:Hi all - never been here before - I am in utter shock - not because I find myself married to a complusive liar, but because I found this forum where so many others are experiencing the same thing. I work in the field of psych, yet still, I didn't know. And I saw the signs.....and I denied them (even though I had sworn to myself that I would never EVER deny my intuition again!!) So, here I sit. I do not know what to do. We have a life....we merged our families. kids, etc. We have a house - there are a million things I love about this man. My questions are: Are others finding that these lying people drink a lot (of course, more than he led me to believe in the beginning)?....And what about a link between lying and sexual issues (I recently found out he is also somewhat of a porn addict - I had NO idea before we got married....hid it like a pro!) Lastly, has ANYONE had experience with someone changing this behavior? Of course, he keeps telling me he will, and I keep catching him in lies - stupid, ridiculous, lies that mean nothing!!! I am confused and sad and i don't know whether to try to help him change (he has at least admitted it in counseling), or whether to give up and move on. Please someone get back to me. It feels good to know I am not the only one.

Sorry I will try this again:
http://www.psychpage.com/learning/libra ... n/asp.html

I found this web site very helpful. As for treatment for these people I have given up. Yes they do drink and are into porn my husband did. A lot do drugs and some do steroids.

Today has been a battle for me. My lying ex boyfriend does not seem to want to leave me alone. I am holding strong. I truely believe this is hurting me more than him. He is forcing me to do all the rejection and of course he has done nothing wrong. I have been dog cussed and begged in the same sentence. I just keep telling myself this is a sickness and I did not cause any of this. I am the victim. I will continue to go on line and keep reading about compulsive lying and anti social personality disorder. It makes you stronger the more you know about this illness.

Here is a great web site:

www.mental-health-matters.com/ articles/article.php?artID=153 - 59k ty

Well, you keep holding strong. Do you even have to keep accepting his calls or visits? Would it be easier to avoid him alltogether so he doesn't have the chance to "work on you"? I am not yet in your boat, but may be, if I decide to end it. I don't know what to do. Hang in there. And remember....you don't HAVE to hear all the things he is saying that make your days more difficult - set those limits!!!!!

Thanks Leesag for the support. Yes it is great when he does not contact me and I do good most days by not answering his calls, but then like most people I have weak moments when I want to believe he is not a liar. Like most people in this forum my life with this man was perfect then in one day my world crashed. I fould out my whole relationship was a lie. These people pray on weak individuals and lately he has seen me at my weakest. But I have made up my mind to stay strong. I have begun by telling all my friends the lies he has told me. Most of them are in such shock they ask me how can you still want to have anything to do with him. I ask myself this question everyday. The magnitude of his lies are so overwelming. And the fact that he can keep them straight is unbelievable to me. These people are good at what they do best and that is lie!! I guess this all boils down to that I am not a quiter and the fact that I can not help him and I am having to walk away makes me a quiter. But for my own sanity and health I am walking away and like you said I am setting those limits and my friends are holding me accountable. Thankgoodness for good friends. I could go on forever but I will not. The bottom line is I do not lie and I will not accept this behavior from someone I love and who is supposed to be in love with me. Good luck to all of you out there I hope you all find peace in what ever decision you make. God knows we deserve peace.

Ok here is the deal - I'll help you understand the nature of compulsive lying by doing something i very rarely do - be honest. I am a compulsive liar. thats no lie (hehehehehe) Its not uncommon knowledge that I lie because i am very unhappy with myself. The things i lie about are not important or hurtful to anyone but they create a tremendous amount of embarressment for both me and the people i care about. Perhaps people do suffer as a result of my lies even if they are banal and mundane. This is the tricky part. MOST of us are not evil people bent on destroying peoples lives by means of deciet and treachory. On the contary - the more i care about someone - the more i lie to them (the more i need to have them feel i am important). Low self Esteem... the key is making the liar feel good about themselves as they are. Often this is hard as they put off a totally ridiculous personality and prefer to be the butt of a joke. Society tends to take a compulsive liar with a grain of salt and eventually so do the friends and family. So its an exponential problem. But rest assured, the compulsive liar does not even realize he is lying and is usually a very creative person (and very handsome in my case) - get them on writing or music or some more constructive form of story telling. this is helping me out. To my knowledge there is no drug... If you wanna talk to a pro (i'm not really a pro and i hate the professional world of psychiartry - i don't trust them) email me - raygun76@gmail.com there i've said what i had to say. But most of your posts indicate some form of hope to me. one of you said that compulsive liars are hopeless. Well thats an opinion and a bleek one and to be honest I think you are very wrong. another thing that helps - have a sense of humour... for christs sake - not everything has to be so damn serious and fatalistic. Laugh about it if it really bothers you. Also - if you ask any compulsive liar if they are telling you the truth 9 out of 10 afflicted are more than happy with a bit of pressing to confess the truth. Its like verbal truth serum. I went on with one lie for about 3 years until my friend fianlly asked me if it was true or not - i simply said 'no' it wasn't. kinda creeped him out a bit but i laughed a bit inside/

I don't know whether I feel relief or dispair to know that what I am going through with my husband (4 years married after a whirlwind relationship of 1 year) is not uncommon. He is the most perfect, kind and generous man but he can't stop himself from lying. I realise in retropsect that he has always told me lies but with no big impact on our relationship. However, over the past couple of months his transparent lies have almost disroyed our marriage. It would take too long to explain all that has happened but bascially he covers one lie with another, swearing that he is telling the truth 'this time' and will never lie again. At present he is saying that he has been offered a job with a fantastic salary. He met the Manager and the Chairman of this company after work on a couple of nights - on telephoning this company I find that these people do not exist! Of course, I now wonder who he was with. He works two hours away from home so it's not easy to check. He has also taken out a loan and when I found out he covered it with so many lies and finally said that he had lost £1,000 of it by leaving it on the table in the bank!! I truly hope that there is no-one else involved but of course that thought is in my mind. I am sure that he loves the life we have together but he is getting us into financial problems now and I am really frightened as to what is going to happen. I have tried so hard and for so long to help, understand, support and get angry with him - nothing is working. My problem is that I so want to believe him. I know that he has lied and lost in all his previous relationships. His daughter says that he is the kindest person she knows but he has always had his secret life.

I have been with a otherwise wonderful man for 10 years. we've been divorced for the last 4. we have a beautiful 7yo but he will always want to 'get rich quick'. he has always told half-truths and told others 'don't tell her'. i always find out. we've lost two cars, two homes and more. I know he wants to change, as he has been this way his whole 49 years. His father was an alcoholic, and his siblings all have some sort of major problem. What is the right support group? I can't find Liars Anonymous - should it be Debtors or Gamblers Anonymous. Oh, and by the way I don't think he'll really ever change. I'm just trying to find a job and prepare myself for some kind of future.

I'm pretty sure I'm a compulsive liar. I've been lying since kindergarten. Now I'm a senior in high school. I don't knwo how to stop. I get in trouble with my parents all the time. It scares me cuz I believe the things I lie about. I really do. I actually think they happened. I don't knwo why, but I lie about everything. It's hard, and I'm tryin to stop, but they come out so easily. I don't know what to do, who to tell, or what else. I've resorted to you people. Please. Any advice? Anything?

I want to stop. It's just too hard.

My best friend has lied to me about the silliest little things and about some big things ever since I've known her. The lying stopped for quite some time but Recently her brother was killed. And now she has lied to me about having cervical cancer. I am going along with her lies just as I have for the last 13 years of our friendship, pretending to believe her, but I feel like she's taking me for a fool, a big idiot who can't see through her constant lies.
I know if I confront her, our friendship will be over. She is in such denial and she would be so embarassed. She is a great friend otherwise and fun to be with, but I am so sick of these lies. What am I supposed to do??