Definition of:Compulsive Lying

Hello,

I have decided only over the paast few days to deal with the fact that I am a compulsive liar.

I am trying to find a therapist or a support group. I know this in it'self will take time so in the mean time I am searching the web for things to read, and I would also like to get my hands on a helpful book. I heard about "The Liar's Redemption", but when I checked it out I saw some bad reviews and generally negative comments. This is to important to me to be mislead by weak or ineffective material.

Does anyone have any books or web sites they can enthusiasticly recomend?

Thanks

Textile

Hello my name is Rachel..I am a compulsive liar. I am 19 years old and my life is built on a foundation of lies. I lie about everything. I make up detailed storys about thing that have happened in my life and people I have known. It gets so bad I sometimes believe that the lies are true. I hate myself for what I do. I also have these mood swings that last for days. They usually are anger related. I go into fits of screaming and crying about situations that are so calm. And then as I calm down, I begin to be super happy and hyper. Its crazy. I wish I could stop. Please if you have advice post it. Bye. Thanx for listening.

tcole56 wrote:I have been married just short of a year. Just after we married, I found out that my husband has lied about damn near everything!!
He told me he was in the Navy.....he told me he had several inherited financial accounts, etc...etc....
I have read many posting regarding how these "pathalogical liars" lie so much, they don't even know that they do it. They tend to believe themselves, to the point where my husband has even admited that he could pass a polygraph test. My husband lies about things that have no purpose. He lies about what time he gets up in the morning, about what he does during the day,,,it just goes on and on...The only time that he admits that he lies is when I have the "proof" that he lied. He always wants me to show him the proof that he lied, otherwise, he will swear on his dead fathers grave that it is true.
I have talked with his sister about this problem and her husband has mentioned to me that he has been lying like this since he has been in high school, he is 48 years old now.

I want to know from anyone if there is any hope for re habilitating someone like this that has been doing it for so long.
I love him very much, believe it or not. Inside, he is a very loving great person that would do anything in the world for me. He loves me very much and is just about losing it because I have left him and am staying at my moms until I can figure things out. All of my friends that know him, has seen and heard his lies said that there is no hope. I pray that there is hope but how do I go back and believe him, even after he gets therapy.

i just recently was getting married to a guy that i now know is a compulsive liar....he lied to me about his race, his family...his real name, age, everything....now that i have confronted him with the truth....he tries to hate me for it.i love him but i really don't know who and what i am loving...someone who takes down pics of his family even his mother to hide his identity is sick! i could never do this...how can you make a compulsive liar understand that they need help.

Hi
I need some advice and, I guess, support. I have recently realised that my boyfriend of 18 months is a compulsive lier and have confronted him with this. I believe im the first person to do so. So far he has been very receptive and has said he is willing to seek help by way of a therapist (im going with him to doctors this week) He has also come clean to friends and family of a huge lie he told last year which hurt alot of people. Some have abandoned him, some have been hurt but are glad he is seeking help. He has been doing this for many years, smaller lies, mainly to people that he didnt know well, due to his lack of self esteem, and other problems from childhood, but since he met me after coming out of a marriage where his self esteem was battered further, it seems after discussing his past, (and discusssing the lies hes told before) that the lies became more damaging, and more frequent, after he met me. He tells me that this is because he loves me so that he was afraid to lose me.
I am standing by him because I love him, and because I believe that the glimpses of the man I saw last year, through the lies, is worth holding out for. It is very hard, because as I didnt know him for long before the lies began, im having to rely purely on him that what he is telling me now is the truth, (as far as I can try to believe it) and hope and pray that he can conquer this problem.
Ive read most of the messages in this forum from all the brave people that have come forward to face this problem that they have or are living with and I can tell there is a long road ahead. But ive also read the stories from people living with CL's and can tell that even though their partners have stood by them, or they have seeked helped, the problem is not easily conquered or they still lie and fall by the wayside. Can someone give me hope that this is not going to be years and years of problems and lies and that they really can change? Im so hoping that through talking and trying to trust eachother, so that my partner does not feel the need to lie through fear and that a good response from me to things he tells me that sometimes hurt, that he will not need to lie to me again, or if he does will come clean soon after.
I am worried though, as he is so convinced that he already has this problem licked - and has almost been trying to talk me out of the fact that he needs a therapist, which ive not entertained. He is an intelligent man, and understands the problems from his past that have caused some of this to happen. I am so pleased that he is determined, but concerned that he may be overconfident and that hes almost lying to himself as to how deep seated the problem is. Any advice appreciated.

Hi
I need some advice and, I guess, support. I have recently realised that my boyfriend of 18 months is a compulsive lier and have confronted him with this. I believe im the first person to do so. So far he has been very receptive and has said he is willing to seek help by way of a therapist (im going with him to doctors this week) He has also come clean to friends and family of a huge lie he told last year which hurt alot of people. Some have abandoned him, some have been hurt but are glad he is seeking help. He has been doing this for many years, smaller lies, mainly to people that he didnt know well, due to his lack of self esteem, and other problems from childhood, but since he met me after coming out of a marriage where his self esteem was battered further, it seems after discussing his past, (and discusssing the lies hes told before) that the lies became more damaging, and more frequent, after he met me. He tells me that this is because he loves me so that he was afraid to lose me.
I am standing by him because I love him, and because I believe that the glimpses of the man I saw last year, through the lies, is worth holding out for. It is very hard, because as I didnt know him for long before the lies began, im having to rely purely on him that what he is telling me now is the truth, (as far as I can try to believe it) and hope and pray that he can conquer this problem.
Ive read most of the messages in this forum from all the brave people that have come forward to face this problem that they have or are living with and I can tell there is a long road ahead. But ive also read the stories from people living with CL's and can tell that even though their partners have stood by them, or they have seeked helped, the problem is not easily conquered or they still lie and fall by the wayside. Can someone give me hope that this is not going to be years and years of problems and lies and that they really can change? Im so hoping that through talking and trying to trust eachother, so that my partner does not feel the need to lie through fear and that a good response from me to things he tells me that sometimes hurt, that he will not need to lie to me again, or if he does will come clean soon after.
I am worried though, as he is so convinced that he already has this problem licked - and has almost been trying to talk me out of the fact that he needs a therapist, which ive not entertained. He is an intelligent man, and understands the problems from his past that have caused some of this to happen. I am so pleased that he is determined, but concerned that he may be overconfident and that hes almost lying to himself as to how deep seated the problem is. Any advice appreciated.

I can understand the problems that you feel inside. Trust me i do not believe that this problem will go away over night. I believe the steps that i am taking, confessions of a compulsive liar with friends and family are a way to stop me backing out. I have been the doctor and it was extremely painful and demeaning. Just becuase i am a compulsive liar does not mean sweetheart that i do not ever tell the truth. I will not ever ever loose you again and will put this crap right inside myself. I know this is a great deal to put on you and ask you to take a leap of faith, but you will not be let down. I can not except that i will give in ever. My love for you is stronger than any need for lies. Basically starz, i need you more. I can never go through the loss of you again it was to great.
In the first wek of this, i probably did appear cocky and sure. But i do not believe now love you doubt that i want this. I have made such terrible sacrifices to fix this problem. It will be a hard road but a worth while road. I will lie in the future, I am not a saint and everyone lies. But i will not go through the $#%^ i have put everyone and myself through this last year ever again and i mean ever.
I love you starz with all my heart. Please believe in me and please believe in yourself as i do. 12 days today without a single lie. xxx

well jamostrat, you were lying when you said 12 days without a lie, what you mean is 12 days not being caught out telling a lie, and today was different. Today they all came out - again. So much for never hurting me again, this ladies and gentleman, is the life of a person living with a compulsive liar. I have answered my own question to this forum, do these problems go on and on, yes they do. No matter what faith you show in a person, they just cant return the favour. For a couple of weeks i was happy, and put my faith, once again, and stupidly, in you, actually feeling proud of what you had achieved, and yes funnily enough, i still am, but not in what you achieved with me, by smashing my trust once again, and causing further heartache and pain.