How to get over a liar ?

I broke up in august with my girlfriend. She gave her old cellphone at the end of July to my brother in law and by chance on safari, Facebook was open. It's a guy (best friend , co-worker , but haven’t meet him in four months, I believe it’s a fake profil since he was part of many of her lie ) who talk with her ex . The guy is talking about how I beat and rape her, they talked about beating me etc.... I should had given that cellphone to the police. She insisted that I didn’t do that. Even the facebook profil was deactivated after I told her what we discover. I remember she went on her cellphone and didn’t want me to look.

Plus the day after she told me she will never talk to him, he was fired etc. My friend who was still her Facebook friend told me a month ago she is still in touch with him. I still believe it’s her. And she kind of need this fake profil to cover her lie.

She gave me really good explanation and but I cannot trust her anymore ....I choose to take a break when she canceled our weekend few days before, because she had suddenly a seminar that weekend. I even called the hotel and they told me they never had any reservation from her. . The Saturday she was at a concert with a guy.....

When we try to catch up again two weeks after. My sister told her that she will give the phone to the police if she didn’t tell me the truth. She didn’t believe the story. My ex told me she made a series of lie when we started dating about her age, study, she was still with her ex, and it’s go on… I wasn’t upset because in my head I knew but just couldn’t believe she done that. I still believe she made lie to cover herself.

Been two months and I feel I don’t make any progress. I will start therapy next week. I can’t understand why someone can do that to someone they loved. Was she loving me? Or just the fact that she can make lie? How can I trust people? I feel so stupid.

Hi Tank... I really feel for you. You are in that horrible position nearly all loved ones of lying addicts get into at some point in their relationship where they feel like they are going insane as well as feeling stupid for believing the lies as well as doubting the love the person said they had for them. All of this is normal. Not easy but normal.

All as I can say Tank is this... unless and until your ex acknowledges she has a problem with lying, she will never be able to be the partner you want and need her to be and she will drag you into her twilight zone world with her which will harm you deeply. Maybe read these posts I wrote to help you understand what is wrong with her but stay as far away from her as you can unless she chooses recovery. Her lying addiction will chew you up and spit you out otherwise. It is a respecter of no-one and nothing.

compulsive-lying/topic103034.html

compulsive-lying/topic115788.html

One thing I do know though about lying addicts is that while most of what they say is lies, their love is very often deep and very very real.

BIG HUG,
Billi Caine