Baby talk?

Not sure if this is the right place for this. I have not been diagnosed as BPD but after going through my third break-up, I feel like I might be. I have posted elsewhere with my history and other users have said I don't sound BPD but I am not convinced.

I am gay, diagnosed OCD and depressed and codependent as all hell. I have had three relationships, the first with a borderline boy, the second with an absolute covert narcissist, and the latest with a likely histrionic.

In my relationships with the borderline and histrionic, we spoke in baby talk 90% of the time. If he was hungry he'd point to his belly and say, "I have a grrr in there," or we'd go, "Night night." An owl was a "hoot-hoot," and we found ways to turn anything and everything into baby talk. All spoken in this cute, babyish way.

I can't tell who has started It in both relationships. It almost seems to just spontaneously occur, and I do It as much as they do. And I love It. It's in many ways the best part of the relationship. I feel safe, vulnerable, innocent. And, not surprisingly, when we broke up, It was the most painful parts to remember. I'd think them sitting there saying, "I sorry" and crying in that vulnerable baby voice and It breaks my heart. They say the same about me. But when I try to tell someone else, It falls flat. Because to an outsider, this is a 27-year-old man, not a child. But they were a child to me.

A few questions:
1. Is this a Borderline thing?
2. Does It transcend PDs?
3. Do Non-PD people experience this too?

http://www.my-borderline-personality-di ... r-BPD.html

http://www.my-borderline-personality-di ... -girl.html

No baby talk is NOT a borderline thing.

HislilPrincess wrote:No baby talk is NOT a borderline thing.

Okay, but neither is self harm, binge eating, feelings of emptiness, etc.

At least they're not traits exclusive to BPD, but they're quite common in pw/BPD. As is the use of immature coping mechanisms, I think. (***See below)

I don't know whether the material I linked is reputable. I think it might just be some girl's blog. Still, that doesn't mean there's no correlation between baby talk and BPD.

*** These are what some girl w/ BPD claims are her "regressive behaviors". I'm not sure they all qualify as regressive behaviors (some may simply be immaturity or immature coping mechanisms). But often there does seem to be a (feigned?) childish helplessness to BPD that's worth looking into.

https://lolasrecoverysite.wordpress.com ... -bpd-ptsd/
being clingy and in distress when I’m left alone
using a pacifier
having temper tantrums
picking fights
demanding ongoing and undivided attention
using baby-talk
crying as the main response to stress
whining to get my way
resorting to physical passivity and muteness
needing a comfort object
hitting, biting, scratching, kicking
acting silly and playing dumb
claiming not to be able / not to know how to do something
wanting to sit on my mom’s lap or hold her hand or be physically close otherwise
not sleeping alone
not staying with other people or anywhere, really, unless mom is with me / separation anxiety
monitoring and trying to control what other people do
assuming a fetal position and / or rocking myself back and forth
putting my hands over my ears and turning away, pretending to not hear or see anything
replying with “No!” instead of listening to reason

ETA:
What do you think of this quote, pulled from the same blog?:

What is really, really hard on me is when I get criticized, punished or even ridiculed for showing these behaviors, or when someone alleges I do it on purpose out of malice to manipulate everyone around me, or to just seek the easy way out, and advises my mom not to indulge my behavior.

I really wish people would understand! From the outside it probably looks like that is what mom does – indulge me, spoil me, allow for me to manipulate her, making me worse – but that’s not what happens at all. I wish people would see that it is her who is in charge. That the part of me that acts that way really IS that little and that mom pushing me away and demanding I act my age would be like telling a little child to get her act together already. It would harm more than help. She does what she does because she chooses to, not because I make her. And she knows what she’s doing. That’s what makes her a safe person to form a healthy attachment to.

Well I often find I get childish a lot and that includes my speech patterns. I think it could be connected to BPD since our brains are stuck in childhood.

I use to think I was into DD/LG relationships, but I don't really care for it that much anymore. I have a low emotional intelligence, and after realizing that those relationships just didn't suit my needs. I assumed for the longest time I was just "kinky" and enjoyed being able to act, in all aspects of my life, like a child (and be taken care of like one).. but quite frankly I think it was all just an act because I hadn't yet realized I just have emotionally matured much since I was very young. Baby talk is 100% not my thing since realizing I'm just emotionally immature. Before that point childish talking was appealing though, as well as having someone taking care of me and making me feel secure in that way. /shrug

Breytt wrote:I assumed for the longest time I was just "kinky" and enjoyed being able to act, in all aspects of my life, like a child (and be taken care of like one).. but quite frankly I think it was all just an act because I hadn't yet realized I just have emotionally matured much since I was very young.

Me too.

yeah, It never found it's way into our sex lives. our sex talk was very mature and dirty. but then the minute we were done, we'd go back to either normal talk or revert into baby talk. baby talk was totally separate from our sex lives.

-- Sat Mar 17, 2018 11:07 pm --

yeah, It never found it's way into our sex lives. our sex talk was very mature and dirty. but then the minute we were done, we'd go back to either normal talk or revert into baby talk. baby talk was totally separate from our sex lives.

I did "baby talk" A LOT in my last relationship and my ex boyfriend was hurt when I did it less and less with him. He'd speak to me like I was a little girl too, even though we were the same age.

My husband and I have to speak softly and sweetly to each other, or else either one of us gets our feelings hurt. I need it as much as him, but sometimes I think he sounds weird and I tell him to speak normal to me.

He loves it when I have a high-pitched, girly voice pretty much most of the time though. I think I might be growing out of doing it but sometimes when I'm excited it comes back.

krp34 wrote:yeah, It never found it's way into our sex lives. our sex talk was very mature and dirty. but then the minute we were done, we'd go back to either normal talk or revert into baby talk. baby talk was totally separate from our sex lives.

DDLG was more of a lifestyle for me, as it felt like I was truly a child. Which I still feel that way to some extent (due to the emotional immaturity), but I've come to realize I'm not a child and don't need to act like a child constantly and go for men who are into that sexually (they seemed like the only type who would want me at the time). I don't really care for sex, so I'd say it lead to some disappointment on their end when they thought they were going to have that in the bedroom as well.