I shoulda learnt by now.
Really I shoulda learnt
But I can't help wondering why am I not worth the trouble? And why haven't I learnt not to try?
Stupidity really not to have learnt. I'm not worth the trouble.
After all if mother dearest can see the bruises she was inflicting upon me, I can honestly suspect others could too. But they chose not to trouble themselves with seeing it didn't happen twice.
Instead they ask what's wrong with you ? Even today they ask what's wrong with you ? And I flash back to the first time she thrashed me. Perhaps mentally seeing the bruises she inflicted develop, for asking for help learning the alphabet,
And yet I keep asking for help. Why? It's insanity!
I shoulda learnt! Really I shoulda learnt. Particularly as I can go without human interaction. Why do I keep seeking assistance ?
After all I'm not worth the trouble ! Never have been......