I'm about 5'7" - i think thats closer to 170 ! .... and 30 weeks pregnant
You should see the wii caricature wobbling around and sleeping on the screen!
Thats why i find it so amusing - I am hardly that lumbering figure on the screen. Yet an insecure person might be made to feel bad about themselves looking at their character.

Ok, LW... I'm going to remind you again... CONGRATULATE YOURSELF!!! You're not in the Guiness Book of World Records as the "most messed up person on the planet!!!" You are human. We all have our own "mess" so to speak. The bottom line is that you are self-aware enough to be seeking out treatment to manage your conditions, and strong enough to keep persevering through the meds adjustment to try to get the right "mix" to best manage your conditions.

Hey, just to let you know.... there ARE people out here who accept you for you!!! (Yes, I DO accept you for who you are.... the mess and all... because I have my own mess that you know a bit about and you still send positive thoughts and words my way!!) So do not think your pdoc is the only one in the whole wide world that is ok with who you are. Your conditions do not define you... there are qualities you have (ie- kindness, concern, etc) that we definitely can see in your postings, luv!!

And stop worrying about that 40th birthday.... COME ON HERE AND I WILL SPEND YOUR BIRTHDAY WITH YOU!!!!! If you only knew how many birthdays I have spent alone! I have learned that parties and group hugs aren't all they're cracked up to be.... now I spend my birthdays eating favorite foods, giving myself pedicures and bubblebaths... my own silly personal birthday party!!!

And a comment about the VD.... sometimes it's genetic, my dear... I LACK the gene of brevity...LOL.

Hugs your way....
Koshka

Ok, LW, finally have some sit-down time to get back to you on this post... mom's still sleeping and I'm enjoying some quiet time with a cup of coffee.

So your love has PTSD as well? I'm really sorry to hear that. It's such an aggravating thing to have a loved one have. As we both know, when it comes to mental health issues, there's only so much loved ones can do... we can support, but not fix. So knowing that we can't "make it go away" is so hard to accept. But I think individuals like you and I having to deal with our own issues are probably a lot better equipped to handle something like that, as we DO understand that the "fixing" (or "managing") has to come from within the individual... those who do not have our experience with "issues" find it harder to understand and accept something like this. So what's the story with his PTSD? Trauma? War? (Mine came back from Iraq... he has already gotten through the trauma of killing others from another deployment... this time it is the collapse of him not knowing who he is outside of his Army personna, so he's trying to re-establish his civlian identity).

You know something... I REALLY appreciate the compliments you gave me... but I don't want you comparing how I'm handling my situation with how you're handling yours. Each of our situations is unique, and while I may appear to be the rock of Gibraltar in my situation, you should really pat YOURSELF on the back as well. YOU have taken major steps forward, whether you're willing to give yourself credit or not!! The fact that you spoke up for yourself, using your own words that best suited your own situation, is FABULOUS!!! And just because you used different words than I did, does NOT mean you weren't mature about it... you just used different words for your different situation. (Remember... you were dealing with a love triangle... heck, that's a lot more emotionally charged than what I am dealing with). So don't get down on yourself... BE PROUD OF YOURSELF... I am proud of you!!!

Oh, my... I can SOOOOOOOO relate to the thoughts of "why the hell did I live THIS LONG with my condition unmanaged????" As soon as the meds got fully into my system and the brain chem's balanced out enough for me to step back and take a look more clearly at things, while I was happy that I'd finally found balance, the next thought was sadness about all of the needlessly miserable years that led upto now. What helped me was this. I used to reach out endlessly for others to say comforting things to me... to put "bandaids" on my wounds to make me feel better. This time I decided to not reach out... to allow myself to feel all the sadness and anger and ugliness... and to process it fully and come out on the other side. No one can give me back all the years I lost. So me having others tell me all these wonderful things like "it's ok, how were you supposed to know you were sick" to try to smooth over all the guilt I had for all the stupid things I'd done over the years and self-medicated (alcohol) stupidity would do NOTHING but be a temporary bandaid. This time I let myself feel ALL of the ugliness. I had to. Having the meds in me allowed me to have an end-point to the ugly feelings. Before I would have spent about a month (or more) in a pit of despair about all of it and wallowed in all the ugliness. This time, I think the meds brought about a feeling of "ok, I've felt all this ugliness, now what am I going to do now?" So I decided that there was NOTHING I could do to erase the past, so the best I could do was focus on THIS: I might have lost 42 years to this condition being untreated, and, yes, my life could have been SOOOO different if my brain chemicals would have been adjusted earlier -BUT- -BUT- I am ONLY 42... I could live to be 80 (or get run over by a truck tomorrow, lol... warped humor there) so should I live ANOTHER 42 years focused on the 42 I...

[ Continued ]

LW, I'm with you... I'm a total junkie for learning. I remember as a child I loved reading and even back then read biographies. Maybe that was the beginning of my interest in psychology... learning how others live and think. Oh, let me tell you, I had to completely grieve losing my bf (even though I'm not quite sure if all is lost, I had to, for my own healing and sanity, resign myself to the possibility that he may, indeed, end up not being a part of my future). Took me a while to do that. REALLY like the quote... it's so true. And you know, the hole never FILLS... grieving really does just close it over so that we're strong enough to continue on. The quote is spot on!! Well, yes, I think I'm pacing things a little. The urges to be the "perfect hostess" don't seem to be as strong or overwhelming. I still am cooking more than usual (I totally eat like a single person when I'm alone...cheese and crackers for dinner, anyone? lol) but don't really feel compelled to fill each minute with excitement. Suppose that's progress. I'm a bit more aware of my tendencies, so I'm making a concerted effort to every now and again tell myself to relax a bit... so it's going well thus far. And no, you silly goose... you're not narcissistic! We all have to admit that we HAVE to be at least somewhat self-interested enough to protect and take care of ourselves!!! And (giggle) probably a good thing we're continents away from each other... could you imagine us shopping together? Watch out Prada!!! LOL!

Anorexic is BMI below 18. I believe the mortal danger weight is 32 kg for the average person. 47 kg is within the socalled healthy limits. So15 kg difference makes you healthy or in mortal danger.

Against that, to be at the same level of mortal danger from overweight you need to really be gigantic. Beyond 200 kg.

All forms of lightweight or more dangerous then overweight. The problem with society is they fixated on some types of conditions previously having been associated with overweight that contained a health risk.

But if you look at overall mortality being heavy beats being skinny anyday.

73 kg for 1.70 mtr is normal. 73 for 1.50 mtr is a bit heavy.