Gonna rant my $#%^ here as I don’t know where else to put it.
I am ILL.
I am insane.
I am hurting so badly.
I am feeling so incredibly dark.
I am not well.
I hurt. The pain is too much. It is tooooooooooo much I want it to stop. dear god make it stop.
Pleeeeaaaaaaase make it stop.
I am really strongly considering suicide. Not right this very minute. But I’m thinking of getting things in order and maybe doing it. But I’m scared. Cause if I do it I’m going to really do it. No going back.
I am hurting sooooo soooooo bad and I can no longer take the pain. I can’t. I just can’t.
It’s too much. It is too much. I don’t even feel worthy of being alive. And I don’t think anyone else thinks I am either.
And the pain. Is. Too. Much.
My abusive partner is all of a sudden constantly on my mind and I don’t know why. It’s like all of this just happened. I am sickened. I am hurting. I am abandoned.
I don’t have a home! I feel sick.
One minute I miss him like crazy and the next I want to kill him quite literally. I get insanely angry like demonic rage....
and then I’m like this. I miss him. I miss him so badly. And I’m never gonna see him again.
I’m never gonna see him ever again!!!! He’s gone :’(
I can’t do it! I am so sad I am so sad! He’s never coming back he’s gone.
I keep worrying he’s dead! I have this weird feeling. What’s if he’s dead and I killed him?!
He’s going to move on and not love me anymore. He probably has already! I can’t take it!
I can’t take it! He abandoned me! Everyone abandons me!
No one cares. I think I am better off dead. I don’t think I can go on. This pain is just too much.
I can’t live without him. And I can’t live with all these sick memories in my head.
I want to be sick. I want to be violently sick. I am past the point of no return. My mind is broken.
What am I. I am just a worthless piece of $#%^. I am ###$ up. Damaged. Broken beyond repair.
But I’m too scared to kill myself! But I want to so badly!
I can’t take anymore. I can’t take anymore. I can’t take anymore.
I can’t take anymore. I can’t take anymore. I can’t take anymore.
If I die I want it to be painless. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I just want to be gone.
I want to be in peace! I am so sad. Whyyyyyyyyyyy did all this happen. I asked for it. I asked for it.
I asked for it. I’m a sick evil ######6 monster. I asked for it.
I deserved all of it!!!! I deserved it! I deserved it!!!! I am sick. I am ######6 sick. I am a cold empty human. Im disgusting. I am a horrible ugly disgusting ###$. I am a ######6 sick piece of $#%^. I want to cut my ######6 skin off. I am a dirty disgusting cold empty horrible thing.i want someone to ######6 beat me. I deserve to be beaten.

I know this is a rant, but try not to be so hard on yourself, and gentle hugs, if wanted.

Thank you. I always forget to check for comments.