quietgirl2538's Blog

by **quietgirl2538** on Tue Jul 15, 2014 10:37 pm

I am still feeling a little bit sad. I am not at all depressed, just moody. Like if I am going through PMS. I got to thinking that I feel so comfortable in my life as it is that I just cannot see it ever changing, like being with another man. Be it my ex-boyfriend or another man. Not because of the bipolar issues, but because I would lose so much and I don't really want to risk finding out that the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. I have good memories of my ex-boyfriend and I felt for a while there, just for a short time, that I still loved him. But I truly couldn't risk any chance of rejection. Or that I lose everything that is good in my life as it is. All these thoughts go through my mind. I like just being friends with my ex, that is all. I will always have the good memories of him and me. That won't change, but I just want to be friends and each live our own lives. I have told him about my bipolar and my difficulties with it lately. He is a good listener. I don't feel judged by him. He seems to know more about the condition than my husband does. My husband is very supportive but he isn't interested in researching it or asks more questions.

by **quietgirl2538** on Mon Jul 14, 2014 2:42 am

Been feeling sad for personal reasons. I can't help how my mood changed and I can't get out of this funk. Sucks. I can only sit around and wait till the mood changes. I need to be outside more and enjoy nature at it's finest and be with my children like today. We made it to the pool a couple of hours. I jumped into the pool cannon ball style--sort of and for a moment I felt so good! I need to do things like this more. I have lots on my mind about my relationship with my husband. I am trying to be kind and caring, but can come off at mean or at least like I am ignoring him. He is a good person. Sometimes, like right now, my moods interfere and all I want to do is escape and then come back to daily life when I feel better. I wish he could read my mind and know this. That I am such a moody person.

by **quietgirl2538** on Wed Jul 09, 2014 12:36 pm

Today there are changes in my mood. While yesterday I was happy for little things, today I am completely opposite. I carry fear and paranoia. This is not good, I'm seeing the pdoc on Monday. My mood swings are getting bad now.

by **quietgirl2538** on Tue Jul 08, 2014 1:32 pm

Thinking about the past and it bringing a laugh to you or just a smile is good. I had this happen to me when I contacted an old boyfriend. It's weird, we were never technically boyfriend and girlfriend, but at the same time we were "together." If that makes any sense then you know what I mean. There are painful memories from this relationship too but I will not allow myself to dwell on them. It's in the past, I've made my peace with it and I've moved on. We are merely friends on Facebook and he is hardly ever on there anyway. He's a very quiet person. Compared to me, I am so very loud! LOL!

by **quietgirl2538** on Thu Jul 03, 2014 2:41 pm

I had a good and really sweet friend come by. She needed to pick up some mary kay items I had ordered for her. I don't sell the products I just get them to good friends at my price. So she was here and I swear to you that small conversation with her did me a world of good. This is what I need. To be surrounded by good and genuinely kind people. She was such a light in my darkness that I've been experiencing. Thank you L.

Thoughts about my ex

Moody day

Experiencing mood swings, oh no!

Good memories about an old boyfriend

Thank you sweet friend

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