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jkc231
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why I have problems, part2
   Fri Jul 01, 2011 3:04 am
Part 2
   Fri Jul 01, 2011 2:25 am
Why I have problems
   Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:54 am

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Why I have problems

Permanent Linkby jkc231 on Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:54 am

I'm not sure where to post this, I am 46 years old happily married, mother of one 6yo girl. I have been in therapy since May 2009. I started therapy because I was(only child) the primary caregiver to my elderly parents who were divorced and living indepedently. And I was using My mom's money to feed a shopping addiction, and I was terrified to the point of anxiety attacks of getting prosecuted. I was never able to share the spending with my therapist. I was able to talk about the caregiver stress, and emotional abuse my mom put upon me. She was very ill, both mentally and physically. My therapidt advised me to take myself out of the mom sitation, hoping she would that start to manage her own life and seek out her needed care, it helped a bit although she was still delusional (another story) It was a relief to not to have to care for her. My dad died in Oct, he had fallen in the night and had a head trauma, we were very close and this was very painful. (guilt issues) my mom would leave voicemails, that is was my fault and she would be next due to neglect.She did not attend my father's funeral. (sorry there is know way to shorten this story)
She had signed a contract and was buying furniture to move herself to an assisted living facility, so turns out the therapist was right about her fending for herself. I lifted the 'ban' on my mother fro Christmas and paid her a short visit. Christmas night I was at a party with my family and mom began calling because she needed pain meds, demanding that I get her some and deliver them to her asap! because I had been drinking the flood gate burst open we had a huge fight on the phone. That was the last time I talked to her personally. She suffered a stroke, after leaving me a voicemail saying that I was a terrible daughter to "speak to her that way on Christmas" When she wouldn't pick up the phone, I sent my husband over the day after Christmas, he found her barely alive and she died at the hospital the next morning.
Last edited by jkc231 on Fri Jul 01, 2011 2:30 am, edited 4 times in total.
Reason: errors

(sorry for any typos)-J

" if you don't know where you're going any road can take you there"
-George Harrison
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Re: Why I have problems

Permanent Linkby jkc231 on Fri Jul 01, 2011 2:12 am

My husband found her barely alive she never regained consiousness and died that night. I was working through the grief of losing my parents so close together, and have been well, stopped therapy in Jan. I was still on my medications Xanax and Celexa. I was exercising, meditating and had a good feeling about my place in life, until recently. I've been drinking over-eating and now shoplifting, all kinds of self sabatoge. I have an appointment next month, but I feel like when I'm in session I am just whining about my problems and the aren't important when one looks at the state of the world and so why should anyone care what I have to deal with...(self worth issues?) so I'm glad to have found this forum, so I can tell my probs...thanks for reading. I'll post again later. over and out
(sorry for any typos)-J

" if you don't know where you're going any road can take you there"
-George Harrison
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Re: Why I have problems

Permanent Linkby jkc231 on Fri Jul 01, 2011 5:39 am

(some more guilt for me please)
(sorry for any typos)-J

" if you don't know where you're going any road can take you there"
-George Harrison
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